From Here On In...

Bukowski said 'You get so alone sometimes that it just makes sense.'
He was right.
I have suffered the 'wisdom'
Of too many fools who,
In moments of weakness,
I found wiser than myself.
Being alone is what allows it all
To start making sense.
I feel my falsehoods fall away
And an authenticity emerge that is completely new.

I see now how full of the BS of others I have been.
Never again.
Right or wrong, I rule my own day from here.
What I think of me is what matters.
I have grown weary of trying to
Explain myself to others.
No one gets it, ever.
From here, I do what I want,
With no explanation or apology.
I am tired of asking for permission
To have my own feelings.

For most of my life,
I hoped to be valued by someone.
I did my best to play along
But it never worked.
Now, I realize that it is not my place
To play second fiddle.
It is time for my electric to run free and wild,
For me to be unafraid.
I have spent years paralyzed by fear.
No more.
Fuck 'em, from here on in.