...

I actually like this...despite the fact it has no title...which may be a good thing...as titles can make or break a person's desire to read what is following (ie book, text, poem) and it is not an imitation Haiku, which sometimes looks like a person chose it for the sake of brevity....so I think it is an acute observation...x0K

The tradition of haiku calls for no title to be given to a piece so I've "titled" all my haiku and senryu "..." as there has to be something in the DUP title field.

But as you've pointed out - not having a title frees the reader so to speak; they're not lead in as much as they have to draw more of their own conclusions.  

I'm just experimenting with the form for a while (both the
 5-7-5 format and 7-7 format) to develop more succinct story telling.  Thanks for the read.

LSP

ah!
The untitled poems are the best.
this is a perfect example.
It shows that,
Some one might look carefree, but one thing can be said for the snap!

Great piece!

Darker

Thanks for the feedback DH ... and yes by not having a title it opens many possibilities - which I'm loving more and more.

And I must admit, I've been writing a lot of these with a metaphorical reference to other issues.  This one is on wanting a child.  There's another on the horrors of 9-11 in NYC; and one on the Jewish holocaust.

LSP

It's definitely open for interpretation which is the beauty of any art form and this haiku proves it, very well done LSP.

Yes you're right Vee - beyond the literal it also speaks to a personal moment ... the ripple faded and the life lost.

Thanks for read.

LSP

If this is an experiment then you've found the results you were looking for. Two lines here that would take at least two pages to break down. I enjoyed this but I'm still looking forward to seeing how you implement these new skills in a longer piece.

I'm glad you see the plurality of it.  There were some personal layers here.  In the end I hope I make smarter, more succinct word choices in larger pieces.

LSP