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The Case of the Masturbating Newsreader (ShrinkSpeak Notes III)
It was a shock to learn
what really went on behind the cameras
But like you
I'd been fooled like a mule
all along
I guess it was a combination
of posh BBC accent
impressive clothes
stunning hairstyle
with a measured amount of cleavage
plus that ice in a crisis tone
If Naomi Campbell had wanted to discuss
her kinky obsession with mangoes
or if Prince Philip needed to fix
masturbatory issues
behind a tree in Windsor Great Park
it would have seemed far less of a surprise
But in she came, great legs
a national treasure
straight to the couch
knees pressed firmly together
no beating about the bush
Her difficulty:
to reach a climax in the normal way
had begun after her big break
reading the nightly news
but before then
she had often found
masturbation
her only way to relax
The first occasion at work
waiting terrified in make-up
had been right after the five minute call
She had shuddered herself calm
in a locked cubicle of the ladies
emerging on set with that familiar glow
and natural smile
the nation found so endearing
and had taken so readily
to its heart
But while her career blossomed
the need to find relaxation increased
and as her urges became more demanding
so the pressure grew
Now, only self stimulation
administered in secret
during the act of reading a bulletin
could bring the satisfaction of orgasm
every red blooded woman craves
During normal copulation with a partner
she would become frigid
deriving no pleasure from lovemaking at all
and there had been none of that
for almost over a year
I watched her eyes ignite instantly
as she described the thrill
of sliding a hand
inside her tight
personally tailored bikini panties
under that desk
live on air
but hidden from view
with an audience of millions
hanging on every word
Stories of recession, terrorist attacks
even mudslides in Brazil
all delivered flawlessly
as she parted her way
through the soft fine hair
working her fingers down gently
then more eagerly
while the events of the day unfolded
Somehow she had turned the act
of silently suppressing
the final gratifying grind and shudder of her pelvis
into an art form itself
The link to the weather
her private signal to gush
and withdraw her hand
wiping it discretely on the hem of her skirt
before the reassuring goodnight line
She praised her own professionalism
exclaiming with pride
Not once, no never
for a single second during a bulletin
had she allowed her eyes
to wander from the Autocue
After all, she confided
the news is a sacred moment
for audience and newsreader alike
Following several therapy sessions
actively employing advanced hypnotic techniques
this patient responded well
and was soon able to resume
more normal sexual behaviours
She even called me a month ago
with an invite for the christening
of her first child--
a feisty girl born last July
what really went on behind the cameras
But like you
I'd been fooled like a mule
all along
I guess it was a combination
of posh BBC accent
impressive clothes
stunning hairstyle
with a measured amount of cleavage
plus that ice in a crisis tone
If Naomi Campbell had wanted to discuss
her kinky obsession with mangoes
or if Prince Philip needed to fix
masturbatory issues
behind a tree in Windsor Great Park
it would have seemed far less of a surprise
But in she came, great legs
a national treasure
straight to the couch
knees pressed firmly together
no beating about the bush
Her difficulty:
to reach a climax in the normal way
had begun after her big break
reading the nightly news
but before then
she had often found
masturbation
her only way to relax
The first occasion at work
waiting terrified in make-up
had been right after the five minute call
She had shuddered herself calm
in a locked cubicle of the ladies
emerging on set with that familiar glow
and natural smile
the nation found so endearing
and had taken so readily
to its heart
But while her career blossomed
the need to find relaxation increased
and as her urges became more demanding
so the pressure grew
Now, only self stimulation
administered in secret
during the act of reading a bulletin
could bring the satisfaction of orgasm
every red blooded woman craves
During normal copulation with a partner
she would become frigid
deriving no pleasure from lovemaking at all
and there had been none of that
for almost over a year
I watched her eyes ignite instantly
as she described the thrill
of sliding a hand
inside her tight
personally tailored bikini panties
under that desk
live on air
but hidden from view
with an audience of millions
hanging on every word
Stories of recession, terrorist attacks
even mudslides in Brazil
all delivered flawlessly
as she parted her way
through the soft fine hair
working her fingers down gently
then more eagerly
while the events of the day unfolded
Somehow she had turned the act
of silently suppressing
the final gratifying grind and shudder of her pelvis
into an art form itself
The link to the weather
her private signal to gush
and withdraw her hand
wiping it discretely on the hem of her skirt
before the reassuring goodnight line
She praised her own professionalism
exclaiming with pride
Not once, no never
for a single second during a bulletin
had she allowed her eyes
to wander from the Autocue
After all, she confided
the news is a sacred moment
for audience and newsreader alike
Following several therapy sessions
actively employing advanced hypnotic techniques
this patient responded well
and was soon able to resume
more normal sexual behaviours
She even called me a month ago
with an invite for the christening
of her first child--
a feisty girl born last July
Published 19th Jan 2011
| Edited 24th Oct 2014
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 2
reading list entries 2
comments 8
reads 2294
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
19th Jan 2011 9:38am
what an odd story. it never ceases to amaze me, the caricatures you come up with! personalization of objects, getting inside other heads...you've definitely created a character or two here.
19th Jan 2011 1:02pm
It's great to be a shrink sometimes - you get to hear all those secrets people never ordinarily tell.
Thanks again, Jes.
Best ~ Abra
19th Jan 2011 6:00pm
not surprise with this--
(I've seen/heard of worse)
...but your writing is striking!
(I've seen/heard of worse)
...but your writing is striking!
20th Jan 2011 10:20am
and wats interesting is the queerness of the script itself which at times excites me to masturbate while reading. Tension is successfully mounted towards the climax and wat a vivid sexual description of the process. Is it a fiction dear? he he:-)
20th Jan 2011 1:01pm
Now Anando, I'm not sure that isn't too much information from you!!! Altho I guess it's an indication that my writing has an effect (of sorts) so I must take note. But it's a very interesting observation in itself.
And as a matter of fact, this story does involve a grain of truth, but as you'd expect, my lips must remain sealed.
Best ~ Abra
21st Jan 2011 10:53am
Hey Abra! Wat I meant to say is that your writing does have an impact. Don't take too much of information from me. I really like you as an artist. And I knew that there was some grain of truth:-)
28th Jan 2011 6:30am
28th Jan 2011 8:00am
