It's Late; I'm Afraid.

There are a hundred reasons for me to never want to go back.

The people still know me.
I haven't left them much time to rest and forget me.
To some of them, I am devoutly an enemy.

And all my former lovers.
And all of their mothers I might run into at the store.
While the cashier swears she recognizes me too.
And I look so like my mother.

And every ambulance I see could potentially hold a friend or a family member.
A former lover.
A current lover.
A high school enemy.

I will see people I know and their babies and their degrees.
And then, I'll see the lack thereof in others.
Which will I be?

Will I really be pregnant before I turn 18?
Like my mother bet?
Did she mean it?
I bet she hoped I would prove her wrong.
I hope I do.

But if I do, will it be his?
Will I not marry first?
Will I marry?

Will I even go to school in the morning?

Will I meet my dad in the afterlife?
Will he like me?
Is there an afterlife at all?

"If you could only keep one memory, which one would you pick?"

I didn't really give it much thought.
Because the first one that came to mind was Valentine's Day.
Where will I be next Valentine's Day?
With you?

Can you be with me?
Do you want to be?