Falling up a useful hope

Sharp sparkles of once trapped emotion bite through me in an undulating peace of balmy-breeze zenith mood.

Before this state:

I looked to poke at a dead-weight anchor soul; anchored in numbness and pulling me, seemingly, forever down a rabbit hole of confusion and terror.
Falling down this hole I was shrouded in - and only aware of - the darkness, so that I didn't even realise it was, in fact, a fucking hole.
What made me aware of this was a beam of light and kindness. It glittered with unusual colours that one might see in a pure heart. That was when I decided to use this beam-rope of sympathy to pull me up to something that was new and peaceful.
When I got to the top the beam-rope disappeared and I felt fresh and tendered by the rope-burn sympathies.
 A little poke of the heart was worth my realisation of loneliness, because now I stand outside of that rabbit hole seeing the light of unconfined untainted love and in that love I am free. If I ever go back there; I know that the world will become mean and unfriendly again, but I have come to know that there are other beams of kindness around that are not ropes (Nooo, people are not ropes!)
 Fragments of peace lie in the world outside of what I have known. I don't even have to try to smile. I think that some people might understand.