deepundergroundpoetry.com
One Star {JohnFeddeler} / The Sun
one star will guide us across the desert of discontent,
will carry us beyond the obsidian mountains, to deliver
us to the verdant valley, secure and blessed in the
radiant light that we adore, one star.
The sun will lead us to the well of joy,
Will carry us over and above the meager ridges, to take
Us to the fruitful orchards, blossoming and blooming in the
Infolding warmth from which mankind evolved, the sun.
will carry us beyond the obsidian mountains, to deliver
us to the verdant valley, secure and blessed in the
radiant light that we adore, one star.
The sun will lead us to the well of joy,
Will carry us over and above the meager ridges, to take
Us to the fruitful orchards, blossoming and blooming in the
Infolding warmth from which mankind evolved, the sun.
Published 1st Oct 2013
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 6
reading list entries 0
comments 16
reads 1291
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
1st Oct 2013 7:55am
I think we have done a worthwhile composition here, Chi. how fortunate we would be to have a star at night, the sun in the day, to guide us always...
1st Oct 2013 8:05am
I'm happy that you think so, JF, and I hope it, too! Thanks for the offer to collaborate. It surely brought new aspects to my write.
We are fortunate since there's always a star to guide and the sun to warm us.
We are fortunate since there's always a star to guide and the sun to warm us.
1st Oct 2013 3:24pm
JF and I
like to thank you
so much for your
your nice comment, dd (dear dartford) :-)!
like to thank you
so much for your
your nice comment, dd (dear dartford) :-)!
Anonymous
1st Oct 2013 4:25pm
I read this on John's page and it's superb, two of the best poets on here collab'ing, it's got to be amazing, love it!
1st Oct 2013 4:53pm
Vee, let me thank you kindly for your lovely comment! I'd like to pass your praise on to John, who guided me through the challenge of a collab. I have to thank him, too!
1st Oct 2013 5:35pm
1st Oct 2013 6:44pm
Anonymous
2nd Oct 2013 8:25am
Beautiful co write, much enjoyed this composition!
2nd Oct 2013 5:35pm
We're glad that you like it! Thank you! It was a challenge for me since I normally process my own experience and thoughts. But as I only had to follow John's pattern it wasn't too difficult.
29th Oct 2013 9:03pm
Could be read as a devotional, optimistic love poem, of a shared journey night and day.
(Reminds me of the Israelites in the wilderness on the way to the Promised Land, having their pillar of cloud by day and another of fire at night to guide them - it has been explained as being a volcano.)
(Reminds me of the Israelites in the wilderness on the way to the Promised Land, having their pillar of cloud by day and another of fire at night to guide them - it has been explained as being a volcano.)
29th Oct 2013 10:02pm
It was a real challenge for me but I was thrilled about John's invitation to a collab. It was really fun and I'm glad you like it! I think you described the poem well - the shared journey night and day.
23rd Apr 2014 8:21pm
23rd Apr 2014 8:39pm
A sense of hope ... you make me glad with this statement since hope is the most important thing mankind needs to enlighten our being. Thank you so much, also in John Feddeler's name. Without him this piece would have never been born.
9th Apr 2015 00:51am
I can taste it. I like the way it takes us round in a circle.
I've added you and am really looking forward to reading more of yours. You may perhaps be interested in my poem "The Fire Eater" - there are some similarities with 'One Star'.
I've added you and am really looking forward to reading more of yours. You may perhaps be interested in my poem "The Fire Eater" - there are some similarities with 'One Star'.
11th Apr 2015 5:08pm
Hi professoryackle, thanks for the read and the add! Glad you like it and sure I'd like to read your poms! "The fire eater" sounds promising :-).
