deepundergroundpoetry.com
Murder Me
Kill me,
Jump Me,
End my life like I care,
Take this gun and shoot me,
Don’t look,
Don’t Stop,
Just murder me,
Just end my life tonight,
As I no longer care,
Or dare to speak of her name,
Or cry out her name in vein,
Murder me,
Murder me here,
Just end it now,
End my suffering,
Make it go away,
Just help me from feeling this rage inside of me bursting to get out,
Please kill me here,
Take this knife and murder me.
Jump Me,
End my life like I care,
Take this gun and shoot me,
Don’t look,
Don’t Stop,
Just murder me,
Just end my life tonight,
As I no longer care,
Or dare to speak of her name,
Or cry out her name in vein,
Murder me,
Murder me here,
Just end it now,
End my suffering,
Make it go away,
Just help me from feeling this rage inside of me bursting to get out,
Please kill me here,
Take this knife and murder me.
Published 25th Sep 2013
| Edited 27th Sep 2013
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The author encourages honest critique.
25th Sep 2013 11:44am
I feel as though breaking this into stanzas of maybe 6 lines and possibly a deeper sense of imagery to give the reader a true sense of emotion would enhance this further. Emotive language and metaphorical/similes to describe these emotions could add power. Also, you've marked extreme content possible a bit unnecessarily.
I'd love to see a mark II of this (:
I'd love to see a mark II of this (:
14th Oct 2013 00:03am
this is the style of poetry i write. i wouldnt change anything. i say bravo
