Men: A User's Guide Chapter Ten / Questions H

What do men want, besides pussy?

Well, you would think that men only want pussy.  The Waylan Brothers have a routine, well one of them does, where he makes fun of men and how they are always trying to game. He says there is this guy who is all busted up, arm in a sling, body cast, bandages on his face, leg up in the air on a pulley, and a nurse walks in and he says, "Hey, how you doing?"  It ain't over 'til it's over.  The really funny odd ironic thing is that when guys are trying to get into your pants, they can't talk enough, and oh the shit they spill out...to the end of time, up in the clouds, over the ocean, through a mountain….oh, they are going to do everything for you before they get laid.  But, once in the relationship, they are not going to tell you nothing.  So, what was all that really about? You may or may not like this answer.

Security.  Men want to know that things are sewn up and put away and not going to be a problem they need to fix.  A woman at home keeping the home fires burning and making his day more easy is really what it is all about. That sounds so off it is not funny.  A woman who is at peace with her man is not at war, and he can do the war part for her.  War is man's business of gathering the supplies needed to keep that fire burning.  She may get the starter wood, that is she may provide her signal that she is available, but after that she is engaged in the process of doing that job.  Men have their own job.

Nowadays, not caveman days, we have built a society that is stressed to the max. The average wilderness family of four spends in total man hours about 32 hours total a week to keep the entire house hold going.  Moderns spend about that much person just for basics.  And just like for Eskimos and other hunters, the more advanced the worse it gets.  Americans are the most advanced in this way of their being integrated into western culture.  We out work, under leisure, and over stress more than anyone.  And our health care, child care, and vacation time use is the worst ever in terms of cost and access.  Look at how much we all owe the Federal Government in terms of the national debt.  Men leverage everything to secure a better future, but they do so by negotiating away the now, as Eckhart Tolle says.  Men are hardly ever where they are.  They want to get to it and make it happen in order to get ready and then they have to make arrangements and build structures to house the stuff they have and rent spaces for the rest.

If he has a woman, he can rest that part of him.  He wants to fuck, no doubt, but it really gets down to "I just fucked," not "I am now fucking."  As odd as that sounds, it is hard to express what I am saying.  "I have not fucked in a year" is not about right now.  "I want to fuck in the future" is not about right now.  If the phone rings, he may answer it, even while he is fucking because something might happen and he needs to attend to it.  When is he ever really just making love and being present?  His bachelor pad is where he is going to fuck. He goes, after he fucks, to his man cave. He owns his castle, his world, his universe, and forgets everyone else.  This uber masculine world where there can be only one leads us to an out of balance world without empathy, where nothing is personal and everything is business and being empathetic is weak and feminine.

Again, my purpose here, ultimately, is to challenge the entire patriarchy.  Empathy is so lacking that we have taken our world to the point where human lives are only bargaining chips.  We are so disconnected that we can't see ourselves as being a part of the human race. It is every man for himself.  Here is a video by RSA. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BG46IwVfSu8
It outlines the issues of society, and it is my contention that we have saturated ourselves with masculine culture. Women are objects, men are the subjects, white men are the owners, and all others are employees who are expendable. Whites do not want to hear this. They want to maintain that they are just hard workers and others are lazy or less willing to do the hard work of harnessing the planet for their benefit.  Wow, that is extremely harsh.  Man, you do not understand.  You are a traitor.  You must be a communist. This is what I hear.  What I see is more of the same.  "I am capitalizing this," is code for, "I am going to take this home."  Clearly, if you own all the water on the planet, if you are not prepared to give some away, you will effectively murder billions of people who cannot afford it. Ownership carries responsible use.  Negligent ownership is abusive and invites revolution, and that is Adam Smith 101.

Men want something besides pussy. They want it all.  They do not want the responsibility of owning it all, because that engages their female side, the empathy of being human. So, the basic problem for men is that they are not human, in their own minds, they are superior to humans. This is the only way to be able to objectify the abuse and ownership of others.  The Wolf Pack is here to remind you that you are not human.  Men are the superior species.  If we annihilate everything on earth and we survive that is okay.  That thinking will land you on a dead rock.  As long as I can eat and fuck, forget the rest. Other nations, all of humanity, the owls, the bears, the woodpeckers.  Fuck those guys.

Interestingly enough, a guy who falls on a grenade for his buddies is a hero.  A guy who slaughters an entire population is a mass murderer if he loses in the end, or a giant among men, like Alexander the Great, if he wins. It is a matter of perspective.

Why won't he talk to me?

A man who tells you how he feels does so at his own peril.  Why?  If he says how he feels, then you know.  That is a strategic point of information. You can get to him.  How many movies teeter on the enemy's knowing the hero has a child or wife and can be induced to do things against his morals in order to protect those he loves?  Any weakness can be exploited.  Never let them see you sweat. Life is a ghillie suit.  If I tell you how I feel, it can be used against me and I will have given away my secrets.  If I tell you, you may be forced to give it away. I put you in harm's way by telling you. Yeah, yeah, yeah.  In the end, it all gets down to identity. He does not know how he feels, because that would require his asking who he is, not in terms of a woman's feelings, but in terms of his own.  A woman wants to fix a man in terms of her own identity and thinks all this manhood bullshit is a waste of time.  She wants a big burly mountain of a man who will talk about his feelings?  She wants a man who will command her in bed and speak of his innermost traumas?  While you're at it, make me some waffles while you are delivering a baby.  It is so difficult to make metaphors or analogies that connect men and women because the use language differently.  Men use the brain to connect with how they rationalize their emotions, and women feel with their hearts how they initialize their thinking.  These are different perspectives.  The truth is he is talking to you, and any man can tell you exactly what he is thinking, can't you?  Think more like a man for a second, and it will become painfully obvious.