bandages

for redemption comp  
   
   
i wanna re direct the 220 cable  
from the outside main breaker  
run conduit directly six feet down  
into the earth  
that holds you now  
   
i wanna sing my new song  
so loud  
it crests and falls  
through that pine box  
   
spill a draft  
on purpose  
to the floor of the whole in the wall  
where it matters  
to none  
   
   
blue collar rock and roll  
reminisce at volume ten  
until the possibility  
of apparitions  
reminds me of you  
i never hurt you on purpose  
serves little comfort  
but surveys shallow depths  
of inadvertent death bed apologies  
   
calloused hands  
broken fingers  
severed digits  
all to slow play death for her  
i know you loved the women  
different  
as i do still  
   
at this point in time  
i don't think there will be  
any more babies  
to wish i could have told you about  
   
california has one though  
a beautiful bed of flowers i believe  
not afraid to demonize a deity  
subtle sighs and ok daddy  
distract from suicide  
i still dry heave the past  
and remember how your father banished  
a man on an indian motorbike  
later to find
he was just the bad of his own wonder  
still just a man  
better known to you know who  
as where i got my ghastly ways  
   
these things james was never to know  
he'd already figured  
the arithmitic of licorice  
the same cookies from last year  
but they were always here  
the more the lines crack my face  
the more my mother hates me  
because i remind her of you  
pleases me  
   
stars burn out  
light years before  
you notice they are even gone  
one day    
i will own a wooden piano  
place band aids  
on all your favorite keys  
so seldom  
any will ever play that melody  
of crooked sunday