Choose how you die today.

There's endless ways to kill a man,
I'm always spoilt for choice,
Decapitation by chainsaw turns me on,
My favourite murder toy.

Or I could gauge out your eyes,
And force you to eat them,
Then stab the life out your balls,
In hell, you won't need them.

How about a spitroast for dinner?
Pole in your bum and out your throat,
Turning over the fire, I'll cook you to ashes,
Seasoned with petrol for that final death coat.

Machete hacks to the body, at the head first;
Post the fleshy remains to your family,
Your head to your mother, wrapped up pretty,
Defaced to the best of my ability.

For fun, I'll untie you and set you free,
Give you hope as you run for the door,
Then pepper your back with shotgun shells,
Bloodbath all over the floor.

So choose how you die today,
Inside my sadistic death shop,
Do you want to scream yourself to hell?
Or quickly have your lifeline cut?

Signed King Delilah-Jane.