deepundergroundpoetry.com
Bury me
bury me with hate
choke me gently
with hands drowning in my own blood
listen to my screams
look at my tainted flesh
covered with scars
feel as my breath is going away
taken down to the hell
anyway I will always be there
waiting for the chance to revenge...
choke me gently
with hands drowning in my own blood
listen to my screams
look at my tainted flesh
covered with scars
feel as my breath is going away
taken down to the hell
anyway I will always be there
waiting for the chance to revenge...
Published 13th Dec 2010
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13th Dec 2010 11:31pm
I didn't feel like the last two lines of added anything to your poem. Perhaps if I had read some of your other poems I would understand who the revenge is directed towards but as far as just this poem is concerned its painfully out of context.
Keep on writing!
Keep on writing!
16th Dec 2010 7:33pm
i agree with conflict apart from the last 2 lines the rest was a generalisation of someone in a very dark place could be anyone of us but those last 2 lines made it personal and feeling the loss of hoplessness i hope it isnt u but yeah keep writing my friend as we are all on a learning curve
