drive

Great movement sensations!  I feel the same on my bike, driven while driving. Deus Ex Machina!  Thanks for this Atakti!  Mike

Pleased you like it, Mike.

Thanks...

Gloves...oh, yes...

Hands on, either way.

Aaahhhhh....Exhilaration x's 1,000 !! :)

Such vivid sensory images--felt like i needed to reach up and pull the hair out of my eyes!

(Thinking Lamborghini...have a secret passion for Italian sports cars (lol) )

A poem as driven as your creativity! Thanks for sharing!!

You're too kind! And I have been remiss in returning the favor - have tracked your work down, good stuff!

now following you... :)

Ah, Gabriel, you leave comments and sighs... so kind.

:)

awesome little racing-poem ataki!

strider

Thanks, Strider!

Nothing like a quality ride Atakti :)

Great descriptive write.

A ride, a drive...

Thanks, M.

This is the perfect car lovers poem....
Well written
A good read for the car guys and gals
(my partner)
Peace
Kitty

Lovely to see you hear, Kitty. Many thanks.

awesome miss atakti.

sounded extremely romantic...

hot stuff......

Ah, someone's getting warmer... to the core of it.

;)

And I thought I wasn't being subtle enough.

*grin*

Thanks, jr.

The very last line is unecessary. The penultimate line, with its wonderful combination of "charging", "stardust" and "roaring", is so strong that it can end the poem by itself. I'd also suggest adding more setting and character; as it is it's all just metaphor with no grounded reality, if that makes sense. It's still a very good poem, though; eccentric and sensual with a powerful flow. Thank you for the read.

It's hazy around the edges, right? I was aiming for that.

Now I'm trying to figure out if this effect works for anyone else. As you said, you'd prefer a more definite setting.

Hmmm...

Thanks for your thoughtful feedback, Jack.

Atakti,

I do love the way you handle that gear shift....no speed shifting now! ; ) Driven, indeed! LOL!!! Nothing like the 'open' road....

tornado

Hey, it's the tornado twisting through!

I only drive stick shift, you know. Yep.

Thanks for your comments!

Beautiful metaphor. I never understood how people could love cars in this way when there are so many lonely people longing for it.

The car is sitting right outside. How easy to just take off... it's a wonder anyone gets anything done.

Thanks, Puppy.

I really like where you went with this. very intense!:)

Thanks, Blake, appreciate it!

:)

sevendust - driven... that's what this reminds me of...
lovely write.

Umm... how does that connect, except for the word "driven"?

Intense song!

Thanks for the thoughts...

:)

"driven to keep myself alive"
idk... i like it all the same... :P

"the night road surrenders
to me, to me"

Great write Ataki!! Thank you...

Very kind, Dr Love, thank you.

I have been a silent fan of your writing for quite awhile......and don't take it personal, but many of us that follow you would not consider the erotic to be the best of subject material for you but......

......this is a most brilliant use of metaphor-at least to me.  The visceral "drive" could be taken quite literal.  The gear head that I am (and the several performance cars I own) could cause one to feel quite euphoric but

...I think you really spoke to the most imaginative of sensual encounters in this.  First Stanza.....the foreplay begins

"....fingers trace hard curves, sleek and smooth, glowing
the door handle lifts with a sweet, soft snick
I slide the key in, turn, watch the dashboard ignite
the engine heats, purrs… throbs
I grasp control, first gear in
pull forward firmly" ( I feel you engage me, slipping the clutch, thus the motion begins)

".....hot dusk air whispers in my ear
the revs increase, gears shift
cruising faster now, close on the turns
tires whirling, motor growling
the night road surrenders
to me, to me .." (temperatures rising in the air of night, she takes control of the ride.  Phil Collins and Genesis playing "I can feel it coming in the air tonight, hold on
I've been waiting for this moment all my life, hold on
Can you feel it coming in the air tonight? Hold on, hold on.......")

and finally

"....the lines quicker, flicker, eaten
pistons relentless
tightened, my fingers grip
suspended in neutral…
charging through the stardust, roaring
I drive, I am driven....."  (The pending climax, the Sturm and drang-a euphoric release; yes I drive.  Yes I'm driven")  Wow, just wow.  Got me feeling interpretive tonight.  Just to think, I used to wonder if you *were* a girl  LOL

Fabulous ink

Well, hello, Mr M, good to hear from you. Thank you for reading my scribbles, and so kind to comment - and what a comment!

You have made my day. You read it EXACTLY in the manner i had intended for the reader - and you're right, I don't normally post in the erotica section. I was wondering if I should try again and after this feedback, I just might.

Thank you!

I'll be looking forward to perusing whatever you write.  You are quite creative and it's very refreshing.