seatbelt talk

the fading break lights
red,

and i can see
the shadows of people
crossing the road

but only in them.

i felt like i had cursed his car,

here with us
there is only honor
among thieves
and no pillow talk
just long conversations
on even longer car rides

but other people use this van

and over this exact hill
every time
into a sea of lights
i so unnecessarily deem
a city

is a girl whose face i've never seen
i only know her name

and that she broke my heart
fair and square.

i don't know what to write, i just want to write something, anything. i just want something good to come on the radio, something that will change my life.

on the way home
its the same
every time
i remind myself

i am to blame

taking a turn 40 miles per hour
i feel the entirety of this vehicle
moving around me
i put my arms up
like its a rollercoaster
but i only ever
stay in place.