I Told You To Wait...And Now You'll Never Know Why

I asked you, begged you, pleaded you to wait
for me. True it was I who put myself in this position.
I asked you not to love anyone else. I begged you.
My Valhalla, I asked you to wait while I battled my
demons, fought the bloody bastards until they were
all dead. But true, I never told you why you must wait,
but tell me this, my darling dearest, what's easier to
deal with? Your girlfriend supposedly cheating on you?
Or finding out that she was raped and that she was never
the same after that?

How she started wearing long trench coats and big boots,
to hide her cream from the world she didn't want to be apart
of anymore?
That she screamed into her pillow each night, begging for it
all to be a dream?
That she took pills to numb the pain?
That she was scared of your touch because almost every man
she saw had the face of the man who beat her in the gladiator's
ring of sex and drugs?
That she didn't want to hurt you while her victor was being tried?
That she didn't want her fucked-up emotions to get in the way so
she asked you to wait for her?
That she assured you she was coming back to you?
That when she emerged victoriously from a lengthy battle, ready to
find home in your arms again, you were in the arms of another?
That she was heartbroken but never hated you for it?

Answer me this, my heart's desire. What's easier to deal with?
What's easier to say?
You pushed me out of your life to make room for my plastic
replacement so I could never tell you why I left in the first place.
It was because I love you and never wanted to involve you in my
bullshit of a mind. I love you and I always have. Even after all these
long years of lust and loss. Those years were filled with hate and
sorrow because I was too scared to explain myself. But I hear she
bears your children, that you named the little girl after me. That
you're finally happy. And that's what makes me happy, my love.