she kills me

I hate myself, I hate my dream
im ripped inside, from the seams
all i want is to grab this knife
ensure myself i can leave this life
nothing matters to me anymore
i wanna spill my blood, cover the floor
im always in pain, i wanna be alone
i wanna slice my wrist, down past bone
i promised her i would not die
but as i sit here and i cry
i cant but dream of the bliss of death
feelings that come after my last breathe
completely numb from all the pain
my emotions ending their reign
she wants me here to never go
ill hide this pain this hurt this foe
i promised her that i will stay
so this will be my only way
as long as me being here make her smile
i supposed ill stick around for awhile
maybe then she can finally see
just how much my love can be
i will live my life, sorta like i should
and do better then they thought i could
as long as she stays by my side
i will live and fight this tide