mind the gap

I can't guess what's outside my mind        
not even know what's all inside          
there's only words that I can find          
still trapped beyond their wrong and right          
         
I tried to analyze what's me          
and I did find I am not there          
'though I'm still trying hard to see          
my self gets lost within my stare          
         
it seems this is the final line          
there is no answer from beyond          
my mind plays tricks on my weird mind          
so I can't tell what I have found          
         
I sense a gap yawning at me          
extremely bored by useless tries          
I can't control what I can't see          
and what I see still blinds my eye          
         
this gap is wide and it is deep          
I would get lost if I should try          
to cross it with a logic heap          
since every meaning is a lie          
         
hope I'm not damned to realize          
that there's no way for going on          
that going further won't be wise          
may cause confusing right with wrong          
         
I blame my helplessly forced thoughts          
for showing what I can't deny          
although I know it's them of course          
that hide the world from my fooled eye          
         
I can't guess what's outside my mind          
and don't know what is all inside          
there's only words newly combined          
to live on beyond wrong and right          
         
the gap is deep and it is wide          
I'm lost no matter if I try          
to reach out for the other side          
since every reason is a lie          
         
but writing on to change what's true          
may lift me to a novel top          
a strange one with a wider view          
for getting closer there's no stop          
         
'though gaps restrain what I can do          
but there's no way for giving up          
lost, yearning for a self that's true          
maybe I already went one step          
                                       too far          
                                                and          
         
                                                  fell          
         
         
                                                  into          
                         
         
         
                                                  the          
         
         
         
         
                                                   gap