I miss him....

seeing him hurts.. I can't help but cry.. seeing happy and smiling makes it worse.. he told me that this is only temporary but the pain and scars are permanent.. what if this is all lies? when our eyes meet, I die inside.. everyone tells me to get over it.. but this time I just can't. it makes me want to die.. I feel useless, I feel worthless, I feel as if I should no longer live.. I want to cut.. I want to bleed.. I want all of this to go away.. I've never hurt so bad.. I can't take this.. I just can't.. nothing is helping this pain..  I miss him....