INNER VOICE OF A SEX ADDICT      

Thanks Aman, in regards to your last sentence, I completely agree!...

  But this poem came out of an inability to connect with someone in a "Right Sense" way, because there was no one of that qualification available for me (back at that particular time of my life & circumstances due to the reality of the town I lived in, so I resorted out of desperate horniness, to over-indulging in my excessive feeding habits with what other equally horny human vehicles I could at least find in relative, though discreet, abundance, out there in the darker, more covert underground, shadow-zone areas found within most, risky public spaces, which existed just about everywhere I'd go & travel to!...

  Yet this type of 'compensation' for such a deep, natural lack, is not really much compensation at all ('if' any?) & leaves (sooner r later) in the lives, minds & hearts of most chronic indulgers, a fairly profound & despondent, dark, empty, hole & significant self-debasement of one's spirit...

  Fortunately, that issue(from years ago) is now for the 'most part' resolved in both my conscience & present reality...  It is & has always been an extremely common behavior in our society, especially amongst married, horny, frustrated (as in 'NOT' getting enough or 'any' at home!)straight men & it can very easily turn into a psychologically/emotionally/sexually compulsive addiction that can literally take over one's life, for years!...  Thanks again for your comments!...

- OIN    

yin yang oin...nice write....strider

thanks Strider, self awareness can often be an excellent inner compass, but at the same time, it can also be quite the cruel master & keeper!...  Which in times past, used to confuse me on occasion, wherein I end up getting my Yin & Yang, mixed up with my Yang-Yang, most likely from wearing a bit too much Ylang-Ylang!... (just kidding of course!)...

- OIN

Self injury and sex are really popular on this website...creepy. Are you using sex to hurt yourself in this poem? That might give it a bit more depth, but it seems like everyone's a self injuring sex addict any more....

That was the intended gist of it's use here, because it can & does apply to that aspect of the idea.  Although, when the poem came out of me back in 1989, it's reference & meaning to me then, had more to do with it's intended application as a general (blanket)statement/insight in regards to feelings I was having about the root causes & content of my own sense of personal, low(badly damaged) self-esteem, at that time of my life's experience.  
   
  It was largely an unseen, inner battle with myself (spirit & heart vs. mind & ego), but I was also keenly aware that it was dramatically affecting my outer life as well, only no one had a clue or knew that this dark struggle was going on in me...  
   
  And yes, at that time of my earlier development in life (in trying to find myself), my compulsive, anonymous sexual addiction had grown out of control & I sought professional help, but as I said, this poem was about that & however many other personal life issues were simultaneously compounding my conscious efforts at wanting to heal my overall, inner-most self-esteem!...  
   
   Knowing that & knowing that no one else would know about all those specifics (I just revealed here) from reading the poem, I at first upon submitting it, had categorized it in the 'Observational' category, but then from experience at this point in my membership, I knew that posting it in any other category other than "Sexual/Erotic", would result in significantly fewer readings (& comments, etc...),    
so I went ahead & created the title (for it had no title previously) "Inner Voice of a Sex Addict", just so it would get a lot more exposure, reads & comments, etc... (& naturally it worked), but this action was not a falsification, because as I said before, the poem 'IS' also about SEX... of a very hard core, erotic nature, without getting specific at all!    
   
  Thanks for your comments, I enjoyed thinking about & attempting to answer your query here... (yes, I realize my reply to you is unbelievably long, but that is simply the way of my true nature!...  & that's what I love about poetry, there are (or 'should' be) 'NO RULES' & everything is wide-open for individual interpretation!...    
   
 p.s.- This poem was 'THEN'... (everything changes)...  & now, 'THIS' is a whole new 'NOW'!!!")...    
      
 - "As in Poetry, SO too in LIFE!!!"...    
   
   ~ OIN

Self injuring poetry addict?

Naaaah, just another creative, therapeutic device I chose to use here as a 'masturbatory pacifier'!*...
 
*(& as a 'complimentary' nod to your own!!!...)

- OIN

Ah; dig.

I kinda figured you'd get it...(sooner or later)... & I kinda enjoyed the subtle, silent, friendly, playful tension of the uncertain w8!!!...

- OIN

I REALLY LIKE THIS...
THE SPACES BERTWEEN THE WORDS SPEAKS VOLUMES....



FIRE