deepundergroundpoetry.com
hospital 1
the day the ambulance came and took me away - i was seventeen with mental ills -
i went to a place where i got morning calls for fruit loops, showers, and a shitload of pills.
overmedicated, super dedicated to getting the hell out of there.
it was a prison, a trap, so many damn day naps..
i made it out alive
so different, beyond that i cannot even describe
depakote, seroquel, ativan, topomax, just relax......
the problem is-
the pills don't fill the gaps of what i lost or never gained in the process of growing up.
memories so bad i feel like... throwing up
back again and again, and maybe again , i've lost count.
then slowly pulsing, overdosing, sezing almost dead-
waking up in a hospital bed - tubes everwhere
but these feelings -
they come they go they linger they stay-
waiting and waiting for that coming out day.
and it always comes especially when i feel so done.
so each day blends and i try to defend the little sanity i have in the end..
i'm losing time losing my mind trying to find a reason to be.. LIFE inclined..
until i see that light shine, this is me falling behind..
i live each day color blind..
i need to wake up and change my ways
tired of dreaming of my end of days -
God! how i desperately need to set my SOUL ablaze.
so here's to nothing.. and to better days ^
i went to a place where i got morning calls for fruit loops, showers, and a shitload of pills.
overmedicated, super dedicated to getting the hell out of there.
it was a prison, a trap, so many damn day naps..
i made it out alive
so different, beyond that i cannot even describe
depakote, seroquel, ativan, topomax, just relax......
the problem is-
the pills don't fill the gaps of what i lost or never gained in the process of growing up.
memories so bad i feel like... throwing up
back again and again, and maybe again , i've lost count.
then slowly pulsing, overdosing, sezing almost dead-
waking up in a hospital bed - tubes everwhere
but these feelings -
they come they go they linger they stay-
waiting and waiting for that coming out day.
and it always comes especially when i feel so done.
so each day blends and i try to defend the little sanity i have in the end..
i'm losing time losing my mind trying to find a reason to be.. LIFE inclined..
until i see that light shine, this is me falling behind..
i live each day color blind..
i need to wake up and change my ways
tired of dreaming of my end of days -
God! how i desperately need to set my SOUL ablaze.
so here's to nothing.. and to better days ^
Published 17th May 2013
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