The One

The One

There WAS one once.
When I was little, I dreamed of her.
Oh I never knew her name or her features, but I dreamed her just the same.
She was kind, and sweet.
She carried herself and my heart with such grace that I knew we would love like no other.

And then
Well then I let her go.
She left my consciousness so that I could try to make another become her.
I grew weary and doubtful that she could actually exist for me.
I forgot her smile, her laugh, her tender touch.
I abandoned the hope that she brought; the heart healing too.
I left her behind; a distant, faded memory.
I turned out the lights in that house one by one until there was only darkness. No reason to remain.

It's crazy, but when I came to myself again, she showed up again.
I saw in her not only the dreams I dreamed, but the ones I never dared to imagine.
How wonderful she is!
How lovely she is!
How truly incredible a woman she is!
She reached through my facade 
Through my heart
And she caressed my soul
How can I tell her?
I cannot. I know I can't.
I know she can't hear my heart,
she can't know this,
it would leave me far too exposed.

I told her I love her.
In the telling there was joy and sadness.
I gave her all of me and she bore it with grace.
She knows my heart and my frailties.
It was too much.

Alas, I am lost again.
I no longer dream.
I no longer want.
I no longer hope.
There is no dream because she is real, and I know her.
There is no want because I am not for her, I can't be.
There is no hope of love for the thousand times I chose poorly, and a thousand more that she did the same.
She is no longer the one.
She is the one I missed.

Now I am one.

Just...

One