I Love You...Right?

I don't seem to learn and I don't know why
I feel like I sabotage myself, if you have something good then take advantage of that don't screw it up
This is coming from my dumb ass who is repeatedly doing it to myself, she loves me and I know it and I'm taking it for granted I don't deserve her but I'm confused because she knows it too but doesn't ever let me go I wish i wasn't so selfish and I could just let myself go for her but its hard as fuck. Why am I doing this to her I repeatedly tell her and myself that I love her but actions speak louder than words so therefore I'm telling her this; I hate your fucking guts you stupid bitch so I'm going to stay around and torture the fuck outta you because I know that your love for me will always stop you from cutting me off and in case you we're wondering I am an asshole but I don't give a fuck I'm going to stick to my normal routine which is, physically fucking your brains out at night and emotionally fucking your brains out during the day. BITCH! but I Love You, you know that right?, you'll never forget that right?, you love me too right?, always&forever right?