a girl on a bench

This was sweet and endearing

Thank you Glynis. I'm glad you found it sweet :)

Ophie ,

Quite  a masterful stroke of the brush.  "come back and I'll say yes again"   has endless  could be's attached, my mind being a gutter has its own set of couls be's  :)

Ok, for me, I was left wondering if you couldn't have been a tiny bit more  imaginitive with the title. Yours is such a hard style to critique though  because its so minimal and generaly word perfect.

I like your style a lot Ophie, and I for one am always happy to see you've posted something new.

Shine on :)

Guilty as charged. To tell you the truth I don't like naming my poems because i don't know how(!) My titles usually consist of random words that spring to mind a few seconds before i hit submit.    
Nevertheless, I appreciate your wonderful words and my poetry - if considered as such - doesn't deserve such praise. I apologise for being hard to critique. Not my intention yet every critique is a valuable lesson.  
 
 
edit: my comment is longer than my poems.(!)

Stunning. Short and interesting. Love how you can tell such a tale in so few words.

Thank you sweetie. It's a pleasure and an honour to have you visiting my poems.

Ah a plea for a second chance. Sometimes we don't appreciate love until it's gone. Poignant and concise piece.

thank you lerdgoing :)
indeed there isn't always a second chance.

Well, my mind leapt a hundred different ways with your ending. A little mystery is good, it allows the reader to insert a but of themselves into the symbiotic process of poetry.
Maybe you could work on the title a bit. It's lackluster compared to the solid gem beneath its gray canopy.

Damn titles, I just wish i could name all my poems as untitled and be rid of it! Thanks for the comment dear Aish.

When I first started writing titles vexed me. I still consider them kind of like evil step sisters, lol.

Much irony in this wonderful poem, like "I'll say yes again."  You are a genius at writing these short poems.



marcella1

Thank you Marcella for recognising the irony! it was quite obvious wasn't it?

Your poems have an Asian quality, with their brevity and stoic mystery. They're like cryptic messages laid out in simple, emotional art. I like them because they either puzzle, move me or both. Thank you for the read.

that's a wonderful compliment jack. In Greek we have a word, 'laconism' which is very much like a haiku. Short and to the point.

Short and yet there's so much in it. Great poem.

Thank you Ella :)

i can't imagine
that you have such simplicity
as all gals will love to give in
she must have liked his