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I will tell you stories
of how I once ate a star whole
the constellation chewy
and my throat sore.
And that night time has a bad aftertaste.
I will tell you of the time I
played Atlas, and held the world up,
because no one else would
and I was so scared of falling.
And that there is a literal weight to sadness,
and to fear,
and that it isn’t your shoulders hunched over
or your head hung low.
But I will not tell you
of the pills
and the assault
and the blades
and the times I could not leave the house
and the psychiatrists
and hospitals
and how I had them all
in abundance.
And I will not tell you of how I was too scared
to talk to men for five years of my life.
Or of all the times I tried to end it.
I will tell you how I once
strangled summertime
in the backyard with my bare hands
and she struggled
and you heard
but did nothing.
of how I once ate a star whole
the constellation chewy
and my throat sore.
And that night time has a bad aftertaste.
I will tell you of the time I
played Atlas, and held the world up,
because no one else would
and I was so scared of falling.
And that there is a literal weight to sadness,
and to fear,
and that it isn’t your shoulders hunched over
or your head hung low.
But I will not tell you
of the pills
and the assault
and the blades
and the times I could not leave the house
and the psychiatrists
and hospitals
and how I had them all
in abundance.
And I will not tell you of how I was too scared
to talk to men for five years of my life.
Or of all the times I tried to end it.
I will tell you how I once
strangled summertime
in the backyard with my bare hands
and she struggled
and you heard
but did nothing.
Published 13th Apr 2013
| Edited 7th Oct 2024
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 7
reading list entries 3
comments 9
reads 847
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
15th Apr 2013 11:54pm
holy swindling ball sacks. I just can't even...my god! your writing is so fucking good! It's baffling. those last three stanzas...damn! just damn. I would get that tattooed on me!
30th Apr 2013 7:16am
18th Apr 2013 2:54am
.... If I'm not overstepping my boundaries here, may I ask why your are afraid of men? And I won't tease you, I'm afraid of men too.
7th May 2013 3:58am
12th May 2013 10:37pm
14th May 2013 10:31pm
I compare you to Plath so often, but you are not Plath. You are yourself and you are poetic excellence.
I love your words and your strength and your beauty. You're my favorite, little miss.
I love your words and your strength and your beauty. You're my favorite, little miss.
26th May 2013 9:18pm
S1 and the line following are really...appealing? "I ate a star whole". Really something else. I know not nearly enough about your life in ratio to what you know of mine. This just feeds the mystery.
