Cleanse the Non-Believer.

Swallowing a city of pills,
for yesterday's pain.
My eyes gleam, white blank holes,
needless goddamn things.
Not sure how or why I had strength back in the day
Now I drink just to know I can puke,
which means I am as real
as I am going to be.
But I believe I'm not okay.
There's black clots in the water up here.
It's safe to say I sip water from dirty hands.
The blackouts are back, claiming me for their prize.
I don't think I want to see the sun any longer.
Mirrors add insult to injury.
I am so sick of this place.
I am so sick of being me.