I Shall Be Released

Swimming in the cesspool of my own destruction  
I choke down my liquor my body rebelling  
a dying liver in protest  
 
praying I keep it down hands shaking  
precious booze spilling on the carpet  
self hatred at the heart of things  
 
a cocktail of benzos and whiskey  
to start the day with  
legs buckling I stoically  
 
tell myself man up straighten up  
pushing my body to the limit  
of what it can endure  
 
methadone used to be my savior  
God bless Hitler and his depraved mind  
for creating such a monstrously blissful drug  
 
now without my pink guardian angel  
I swim in the ocean of self contempt and liquor  
longing with all my soul to cloak myself  
 
with my warm, numbing methadone blanket  
a blinder to the raw world I exisist in  
losing myself as the light blinks from my eyes  
 
a shadow soul wandering in the dark  
behind a steel wall free from one drug  
just to be shackled to another  
 
 
(written while listening to I shall be released by The Band)  
 
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ore6K3ESTLc  
 
 
(Thank you Carpe_Noctem for the inspiration and editing)