Submissions by wak1ng_up (Dylan9z)
POEMS AND SHORT STORIES
Poet Introduction
I’ve been writing crap poetry for a long time, I really love poems. I mostly wrote about my depression, numbness, or gender identity. I’m nonbinary, but use the male symbol to describe myself. I’ve been hospitalized before, and still want to kill my
Secretly
Depression is fighting the same battle for so long you’re not sure you even want to win.
So maybe when you let yourself be taken over is because you just want the fight to end, even if that means you lose.
Or maybe you start to think that if you can escape this one way or another, is it really losing?
You get to the point where instead of wanting to get better, you just want to get worse to the point where you end it all.
Instead of fighting when you’re in so deep, you secretly want to get deep enough so you can end it....
So maybe when you let yourself be taken over is because you just want the fight to end, even if that means you lose.
Or maybe you start to think that if you can escape this one way or another, is it really losing?
You get to the point where instead of wanting to get better, you just want to get worse to the point where you end it all.
Instead of fighting when you’re in so deep, you secretly want to get deep enough so you can end it....
#depression
400 reads
2 Comments
Sleep
I can’t sleep
But I need to get away
I don’t want to be alone with my thoughts
I don’t want to let them blanket me and never let me go
I’m so empty
I’m pretty sure by now you know
I’m so tired
I guess that’s just how I’m wired
I know that I have work to do
But I just can’t see it through
God, I’m so tired
I don’t really feel awake
Awake is full of color
And I’m a large gray painting
Actually, not gray
I’m even duller
I’m so empty inside I’m not sure I’m alive
The only way I know I’m awake
Is become my...
But I need to get away
I don’t want to be alone with my thoughts
I don’t want to let them blanket me and never let me go
I’m so empty
I’m pretty sure by now you know
I’m so tired
I guess that’s just how I’m wired
I know that I have work to do
But I just can’t see it through
God, I’m so tired
I don’t really feel awake
Awake is full of color
And I’m a large gray painting
Actually, not gray
I’m even duller
I’m so empty inside I’m not sure I’m alive
The only way I know I’m awake
Is become my...
#rhyming
#sleep
#suffering #emptiness
#suffering #emptiness
435 reads
1 Comment
Empty
I’m so empty
I feel like I should be sad but no
I’m so empty
Maybe I should feel mad but no
I feel like there is a hole is chest, anybody know what I mean?
Just sitting here taking slow deep breaths
Something feels wrong but I can’t put my finger on it
Like there is nothing inside me
I’m not sure if I’m real right now
I can feel the hollow space in my body
I’m so calm
It’s sort of freaking me out
I feel so much pain right now
But it’s as if it was blocked by a valve
So I feel all this hurt
But it might not be real ...
I feel like I should be sad but no
I’m so empty
Maybe I should feel mad but no
I feel like there is a hole is chest, anybody know what I mean?
Just sitting here taking slow deep breaths
Something feels wrong but I can’t put my finger on it
Like there is nothing inside me
I’m not sure if I’m real right now
I can feel the hollow space in my body
I’m so calm
It’s sort of freaking me out
I feel so much pain right now
But it’s as if it was blocked by a valve
So I feel all this hurt
But it might not be real ...
#depression
408 reads
4 Comments
Like I was hit by a semi truck
Lately I found out the perfect friendship I had with my best friend wasn’t actually perfect. Turns out she thought I was fucking a lot of things up.
(*song*)
So, it turns out
Maybe what I saw
Was what I wanted to see
Then I guess it’s my fault
But seeing all those bad things I did
I guess it makes me think
How can you change this reality
In a blink
Of the eye
And I can’t help help but ask... why
Why did I ever treat you like that?
Why didn’t you let me know?
And HOW....
How did...
(*song*)
So, it turns out
Maybe what I saw
Was what I wanted to see
Then I guess it’s my fault
But seeing all those bad things I did
I guess it makes me think
How can you change this reality
In a blink
Of the eye
And I can’t help help but ask... why
Why did I ever treat you like that?
Why didn’t you let me know?
And HOW....
How did...
#depression
#MovingOn
#acceptance
391 reads
4 Comments
Hope
To anyone who feels as beaten down as I do;
You are so FUCKING STRONG.
People don’t tell you that enough. They could tell you every second of the day and it still wouldn’t BEGIN to express how strong you are.
To power through teach day, with so little energy? That’s amazing.
To get up the next morning, when you just want to fade away? That is NOT EASY.
Just because everyone makes it through the day doesn’t mean you take it for granted. Don’t forget that.
You are a fighter. Tell yourself that at least once a day, because it’s true. You are...
You are so FUCKING STRONG.
People don’t tell you that enough. They could tell you every second of the day and it still wouldn’t BEGIN to express how strong you are.
To power through teach day, with so little energy? That’s amazing.
To get up the next morning, when you just want to fade away? That is NOT EASY.
Just because everyone makes it through the day doesn’t mean you take it for granted. Don’t forget that.
You are a fighter. Tell yourself that at least once a day, because it’s true. You are...
#depression
#hope
435 reads
1 Comment
You get what you get
We’ve all heard it before;
You get what you get and you don’t get upset.
Well, I’ll tell you what I got. I got a brain that tells me I should jump in front of every car I see.
Are you telling me I should just accept that I’m broken?
You get what you get and you don’t get upset.
I got paranoia and mania.
I got a brain that thinks everyone’s out to get me.
Am I not allowed to be mad about it?
You get what you get and you don’t get upset.
I got a body that doesn’t match my brain.
A body that mocks me everyday while it changes into something I...
You get what you get and you don’t get upset.
Well, I’ll tell you what I got. I got a brain that tells me I should jump in front of every car I see.
Are you telling me I should just accept that I’m broken?
You get what you get and you don’t get upset.
I got paranoia and mania.
I got a brain that thinks everyone’s out to get me.
Am I not allowed to be mad about it?
You get what you get and you don’t get upset.
I got a body that doesn’t match my brain.
A body that mocks me everyday while it changes into something I...
#depression
#dark
#LGBT
#CallToAction
#despair
401 reads
3 Comments
Past
someone call a doctor something is wrong.
That emotion organ is my body is gone!
I didn’t know you could be jittery and numb at the same time. I didn’t know you could feel a constant anxiety buzz but still be completely empty.
I didn’t know you could cut yourself and not flinch.
I used to take being sad for granted.
Granted, back then I thought it was bad.
Now I’d giving anything to be sad.
Everything feels boring.
The days go by, but I’d be fine without them happening at all.
I’m starting to feel this everyday.
...
That emotion organ is my body is gone!
I didn’t know you could be jittery and numb at the same time. I didn’t know you could feel a constant anxiety buzz but still be completely empty.
I didn’t know you could cut yourself and not flinch.
I used to take being sad for granted.
Granted, back then I thought it was bad.
Now I’d giving anything to be sad.
Everything feels boring.
The days go by, but I’d be fine without them happening at all.
I’m starting to feel this everyday.
...
#depression
#apathy
441 reads
3 Comments
DU Poetry : Submissions by wak1ng_up (Dylan9z)
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