Submissions by juon

Last night I dreamed of bonfires and acoustic guitars, of hard living poets with brown skin and cigarettes. I dreamed of my new lover, whoever you are, I hope you can give me what I've been aching for.
 
 
 
 
 

the dumbest thing I ever did for you was have your name tattooed above my ear.
there are lesser things, things less permanent as well
changing the color of my eyes for you, piercing this and that
and letting you dress me from head to toe like a doll
so you could bring me out and start a fight with the first
guy to look my way, and the last
the last time we talked you told me so many things, like the fact that you got
off while thinking about me with other guys but were by far the most turned on
by the fact that you were my only lover and still are. my first...

my ex lover, ex-addict, ex-con
six and quarter feet of
tattoos and testosterone,

is the kind of man you can love
but never be with,
love but from a distance

a myopic tryst with darkness,

I call him when I am scared
when I am lost or alone
and he tells me he will

always be there, no matter how far
to keep those bitches away from my door

In a moment when I've never been so lost he is the one who calls and I tell him everything because no one can protect me the way he did. No one knows the mind of a malignant narcissist so thoroughly and no one is willing to go to such lengths to guard what is rightfully his. I give it a name and he assures me he will end that particular pain.
I put away my knives and my unresolved pains and I open the door and let him in.