Submissions by jmerrick73
POEMS AND SHORT STORIES
Poet Introduction
Poetry is my outlet for expressing my depression, my anger, my love, my hate, my dark hellish life.
SELF POEM
Published
23rd Feb 2021 12:53pm
23rd Feb 2021 12:53pm
Changes
1989.
So young i once was.
Not a care in this world.
No love within my life as of yet.
One year more and that love will be growing within me.
Oh how i dreamed of that special feeling as a young lad.
I miss it all.
The feeling of butterflies in my stomach.
The dizzying captivating feeling of a true love.
I was in too much of a hurry to grow up.
Here it is, 30 yrs later.
Life experiences haven't been what I'd wish for.
Thinking back i wishthey all loved me, like I loved them.
But they didn't.
All alone i was.
All...
So young i once was.
Not a care in this world.
No love within my life as of yet.
One year more and that love will be growing within me.
Oh how i dreamed of that special feeling as a young lad.
I miss it all.
The feeling of butterflies in my stomach.
The dizzying captivating feeling of a true love.
I was in too much of a hurry to grow up.
Here it is, 30 yrs later.
Life experiences haven't been what I'd wish for.
Thinking back i wishthey all loved me, like I loved them.
But they didn't.
All alone i was.
All...
#sadness
#love
#heartbroken
365 reads
4 Comments
OBSERVATIONAL POEM
Published
22nd Jan 2021 6:36am
22nd Jan 2021 6:36am
HOPELESS
Hopeless" in this race called life.
Same old shit all day all night.
Sick 'n' tired of all these judgmental pricks.
I tell those same bastards to suck a dick.
Burn this shit to Nothingness.
HOPELESS!!!!!!!!!
Same old shit all day all night.
Sick 'n' tired of all these judgmental pricks.
I tell those same bastards to suck a dick.
Burn this shit to Nothingness.
HOPELESS!!!!!!!!!
#anger
#LifeStruggles
265 reads
2 Comments
SELF POEM
Published
22nd Jan 2021 6:29am
22nd Jan 2021 6:29am
P*O*S
Is it he?
Or thee?
I say truly.
This title belongs to no other than me.
Larry aka the one who lives in constant misery.
Why was this to be?
My curse possibly?
Maybe I'm too stupid.
I know I'm fat.
I know I'm lazy.
I know i don't have much to offer.
So tired of this shit called life.
I only have them to vent to.
Piece of shit.
Yes it's me.
The fat fucking lowlife, it's plain to see.
Every fucking body hates me.
There's no one left that really loves me.
They're all dead, 6 feet deep.
Everyday...
Or thee?
I say truly.
This title belongs to no other than me.
Larry aka the one who lives in constant misery.
Why was this to be?
My curse possibly?
Maybe I'm too stupid.
I know I'm fat.
I know I'm lazy.
I know i don't have much to offer.
So tired of this shit called life.
I only have them to vent to.
Piece of shit.
Yes it's me.
The fat fucking lowlife, it's plain to see.
Every fucking body hates me.
There's no one left that really loves me.
They're all dead, 6 feet deep.
Everyday...
#sadness
#depression
237 reads
0 Comments
SPIRITUAL POEM
Published
3rd Nov 2020 9:23am
3rd Nov 2020 9:23am
God ???
I don't doubt god exists.
I just don't know why I'm always here in these bad situations.
No.
I do know.
I'm punished for my sinz.
I deserve whatever hell i bring my way.
God hasn't forced my sin.
I did it to myself.
I chose this sinful path that I've been on my entire life.
The problematic health issues are due to my sinful choices.
Although I've accepted the lord into my heart.
I'm still not free from judgment, from hell.
I know what i must do.
I know.
I know.
It's a struggle.
I know.
I know. ...
I just don't know why I'm always here in these bad situations.
No.
I do know.
I'm punished for my sinz.
I deserve whatever hell i bring my way.
God hasn't forced my sin.
I did it to myself.
I chose this sinful path that I've been on my entire life.
The problematic health issues are due to my sinful choices.
Although I've accepted the lord into my heart.
I'm still not free from judgment, from hell.
I know what i must do.
I know.
I know.
It's a struggle.
I know.
I know. ...
#God
#morality
395 reads
6 Comments
ANGER POEM
Published
2nd Nov 2020 7:44am
2nd Nov 2020 7:44am
SO f**kING ANGRY
That's it I've had it with this bitches shit.
Whining and nagging yelling everyday at yours truly and shit.
So exhausted dealing with this.
I'm beyond pissed.
I no longer care about sex and getting off.
All i dream of is guttin' & cuttin' this bitches head off.
Fucking shits gotta stop.
Either with my death or hers chop chop chop.
Head rolling down the stairs flop flop flop.
I'm on the Fucking edge.
When i click, a bitch will be found missing her head and one leg.
Head is pickled in a jar, leg up her ass.
Rest of the corpse...
Whining and nagging yelling everyday at yours truly and shit.
So exhausted dealing with this.
I'm beyond pissed.
I no longer care about sex and getting off.
All i dream of is guttin' & cuttin' this bitches head off.
Fucking shits gotta stop.
Either with my death or hers chop chop chop.
Head rolling down the stairs flop flop flop.
I'm on the Fucking edge.
When i click, a bitch will be found missing her head and one leg.
Head is pickled in a jar, leg up her ass.
Rest of the corpse...
#anger
#hate
#dark
#frustration
#disappointment
321 reads
3 Comments
SELF POEM
Published
2nd Nov 2020 7:22am
2nd Nov 2020 7:22am
Torment
No one will ever except me for me.
Everyone still tries to change me.
I know already that i am crazy.
I know already that i am lazy.
I can see that i am morbidly obese.
When i see food i see a feast.
I see a way to comfort my eternal torment.
The demons within me sometimes hide.
My demons can be ruthless as fuck.
To suffer is to be alive.
At this age I've run completely out of luck.
Life is more than half way over with.
And I've never prayed for my end more than i have the past few yrs.
My eyes are dry, no tears.
This is...
Everyone still tries to change me.
I know already that i am crazy.
I know already that i am lazy.
I can see that i am morbidly obese.
When i see food i see a feast.
I see a way to comfort my eternal torment.
The demons within me sometimes hide.
My demons can be ruthless as fuck.
To suffer is to be alive.
At this age I've run completely out of luck.
Life is more than half way over with.
And I've never prayed for my end more than i have the past few yrs.
My eyes are dry, no tears.
This is...
#sadness
#loneliness
#emptiness #bittersweet
#emptiness #bittersweet
335 reads
1 Comment
NON-FICTION PROSE
Published
12th Sep 2020 9:31am
12th Sep 2020 9:31am
Deaths Sweet Kiss
Some fear it.
Some happily accept it.
Many try to cheat it.
Many narrowingly escape it.
Just open your loving warm arms and embrace the bitter chill of death.
Death has been a friend of mine for 35 yrs.
Death introduced itself to me when i was 11 years old.
I didn't say nothing to death.
I really just ignored death.
Then 13 years later, death came around my way again.
And again a year after that.
And again another year after that.
The it's like death forgot me.
Didn't hear shit again, until 5 1/2 years later. Too many...
Some happily accept it.
Many try to cheat it.
Many narrowingly escape it.
Just open your loving warm arms and embrace the bitter chill of death.
Death has been a friend of mine for 35 yrs.
Death introduced itself to me when i was 11 years old.
I didn't say nothing to death.
I really just ignored death.
Then 13 years later, death came around my way again.
And again a year after that.
And again another year after that.
The it's like death forgot me.
Didn't hear shit again, until 5 1/2 years later. Too many...
#dark
#death
772 reads
0 Comments
SELF POEM
Published
5th Sep 2020 9:56am
5th Sep 2020 9:56am
????
Sometimes i feel like writing erotica.
Other times i feel like writing my daily accounts of my personal reality.
As of now my mind is dealing with a sickness.
A sickness where there is no escape.
No way out.
Only the so called cowards way out.
So instead of snapping and going full throttle into the point of no return.
I slowly destroy my innards.
I slowly kill what lives within this shell of a human being.
Some will understand what i am talking about.
Others will not.
That's ok.
I would hope no one ever has to go through the...
Other times i feel like writing my daily accounts of my personal reality.
As of now my mind is dealing with a sickness.
A sickness where there is no escape.
No way out.
Only the so called cowards way out.
So instead of snapping and going full throttle into the point of no return.
I slowly destroy my innards.
I slowly kill what lives within this shell of a human being.
Some will understand what i am talking about.
Others will not.
That's ok.
I would hope no one ever has to go through the...
#LifeStruggles
#suffering
488 reads
5 Comments
NON-FICTION PROSE
Published
19th Jul 2020 10:21am
19th Jul 2020 10:21am
More & More
Everyday i get more & more depressed.
Sick of the yelling and fighting.
I don't know how much longer i can continue with this facade.
I used to feel more alive when i was in my 20's.
Now in my late 40's, i feel sedated.
I hide my true self & feelings because I'm afraid of the backlash i may receive from those that are around me.
I am more afraid of living than i am of dying.
When i was younger i would daydream of that unknown person that would show me pure love.
Now, i wonder does such a person even exist in this cruel, heartless world? ...
Sick of the yelling and fighting.
I don't know how much longer i can continue with this facade.
I used to feel more alive when i was in my 20's.
Now in my late 40's, i feel sedated.
I hide my true self & feelings because I'm afraid of the backlash i may receive from those that are around me.
I am more afraid of living than i am of dying.
When i was younger i would daydream of that unknown person that would show me pure love.
Now, i wonder does such a person even exist in this cruel, heartless world? ...
#sadness
#depression
#loneliness
319 reads
0 Comments
SELF POEM
Published
30th Jun 2020 11:37am
30th Jun 2020 11:37am
Bon-Voy'age?
It's damn sad when you can't wait to get back to work from your days off.
She belittles me.
I admit she's smarter than me.
Same tearing down of one's self esteem,that I've endured as a teen.
Oh how i pray for my demise on a daily basis.
This is way too much mental stress, I no longer care to face this.
Damn, i wish i had my mama.
Mama would be there to comfort me during this drama.
I haven't a mama anymore.
She passed in '85.
She's now no more.
How did i make it this long, how did i survive?
The bridges that were once before me,...
She belittles me.
I admit she's smarter than me.
Same tearing down of one's self esteem,that I've endured as a teen.
Oh how i pray for my demise on a daily basis.
This is way too much mental stress, I no longer care to face this.
Damn, i wish i had my mama.
Mama would be there to comfort me during this drama.
I haven't a mama anymore.
She passed in '85.
She's now no more.
How did i make it this long, how did i survive?
The bridges that were once before me,...
#anger
#boredom
274 reads
0 Comments
SELF POEM
Published
16th Jun 2020 9:44am
16th Jun 2020 9:44am
Unworthy
Drifting away, sailing down the river of my own putrid piss.
Still i can't get a mutha fuckin thing done right.
Mentally fucked up beyond all sight.
My entire existence up to this point, has been pure shite.
Constantly getting screamed at.
Constantly told I'm stupid,dumb and fat.
I'm thinking, "Bitch, i know I'm fat."
Where do i go from here?
Towel to my face to dry up my many tears.
About 47 fuckin years old.
Where the fuck did all the time go?
Lord, why am i here?
Why?
Why was i born into this world of confusion and most of...
Still i can't get a mutha fuckin thing done right.
Mentally fucked up beyond all sight.
My entire existence up to this point, has been pure shite.
Constantly getting screamed at.
Constantly told I'm stupid,dumb and fat.
I'm thinking, "Bitch, i know I'm fat."
Where do i go from here?
Towel to my face to dry up my many tears.
About 47 fuckin years old.
Where the fuck did all the time go?
Lord, why am i here?
Why?
Why was i born into this world of confusion and most of...
#sadness
#rejection
#confusion
#despair
#emptiness
366 reads
0 Comments
UPBEAT INSPIRATIONAL POEM
Published
7th Jun 2020 12:40pm
7th Jun 2020 12:40pm
Things that make me Happy
It's the little things in life that make me happy.
A song from wayback that strikes up a time in my life where everything was joyous.
Rootbeer floats
Love of family and friends
Thinking of Jesus,the excitement of meeting him face to face.
Mama
Granny
Grandpa
Unk Frank
Unk bob
Those times,places,things,people.
Are all gone.
Never to be in this life.
See,no matter how hard i try to write about something happy, something negative comes out from the dark place within my mind.
God help me.
I would do or...
A song from wayback that strikes up a time in my life where everything was joyous.
Rootbeer floats
Love of family and friends
Thinking of Jesus,the excitement of meeting him face to face.
Mama
Granny
Grandpa
Unk Frank
Unk bob
Those times,places,things,people.
Are all gone.
Never to be in this life.
See,no matter how hard i try to write about something happy, something negative comes out from the dark place within my mind.
God help me.
I would do or...
#happiness
#love
#emotions
292 reads
0 Comments
DU Poetry : Submissions by jmerrick73
