Submissions by amandrin

You ask me what I have been up to.  I would like to answer you honestly.  "This past year I have been living half-alive."

Because I'm too old to feel like this.  I'm too old to feel this desperate, this separate, from my own life and society, like a brand new toddler coming off another sugar rush his mother never intended on getting him onto, asking himself if he was the real cause of all this destruction, am I the one who wreaked all this havoc?

I'm too old to feel like this, but I'm too young to know this feeling, I'm too young to have a ghost like you!

You...

Have you ever noticed how our fingers interlock together perfectly?"

The first time he said it, it was dark, and the sun was setting on more than just the day, he thinks, it's romantic, thinks it's perfect, thinks it's the first time anybody's ever held my hand.

I think it's nothing new, but maybe, if I convince myself, it could be.  I try to have his mindset, try to fix the flaws I'm feeling, pretending I feel whole when I stand empty, because I have never fit in anywhere, I have never belonged with anyone at the end of the day, I'm just a girl that writes a good love...

Do you feel your world taxing my heart
I asked is this real and you swore we would
never be apart
But I thought that I liked you
The problem was I liked you a lot
But you would rather
Not have me than have me be something I'm not

Chorus 1:
Well I'm sorry
I just didn't know how to act
And I'm sorry
I let go of you so fast
'Cos now I know, now I know, now I know, I know, Iknow
And I'll never let this go

How could you ever mistake my confusion
for lack of love?
And did you, really think
That being with her would ever...

You didn't say you didn't love me.
You didn't tell me we're better off as friends, you didn't have to.
I said it to myself a thousand times that you couldn't love me the way you should, that you could never need me the way you should, that you could never want me the way you should.

There were words hanging in the air afterward, like black pollution over our beloved city, it is still waiting to be cleared, but it is just so hard to do so once it is there.  Are we the ones that put it there?

There were words you should have said, there were things I should...

I know, that you are always trying to come first in her eyes and failing.  I know, that you are used to stretching out the sleeves of your secondhand love in an attempt to make it fit and it is always coming up just one size too small.

You think, you always think, that this time, if you just stretch a little further, bend a little more backwards, that this time, it’s going to fit just right.  If you just stretch the seams, alter the lines and the lies, everything will be alright.

And you think that maybe someday, if you try hard enough, she will see you like you see her, and...