Submissions by akocz (Amanda Kocz)
POEMS AND SHORT STORIES
Poet Introduction
I write about my life experiences.
SELF POEM
Published
7th Sep 2015 8:21pm
7th Sep 2015 8:21pm
Free Me
So far from home
Sitting all alone
So many people but no one cares
They just sit with their dumb blank stares
But how do they ever know
When to no one I ever go
To talk to or confide
And get rid of all that's inside
It's because I still feel alone with you right by my side
Why do I hide all this I feel?
Wanting none of it to be real
All these feelings of hate and anguish
If I were granted just one wish
I'd want them all taken from me
For once in my life to finally fell free
Sitting all alone
So many people but no one cares
They just sit with their dumb blank stares
But how do they ever know
When to no one I ever go
To talk to or confide
And get rid of all that's inside
It's because I still feel alone with you right by my side
Why do I hide all this I feel?
Wanting none of it to be real
All these feelings of hate and anguish
If I were granted just one wish
I'd want them all taken from me
For once in my life to finally fell free
631 reads
1 Comment
DRUGS POEM
Published
7th Sep 2015 8:05pm
7th Sep 2015 8:05pm
When I Couldn't Stop
When I couldn't stop using
It was mostly me I was abusing
I lied, I stole
Kept digging myself into a deeper hole
I really feel I ruined my life
Because by now I could've been his wife
But instead he just kicked me out
Didn't try to help me or want to figure it out
I've done some real terrible things
Drugs had me dancing on their strings
When I was using nothing mattered
Always felt beat up and battered
I also felt so lost and alone
Like walking around like some kind of drone
It was mostly me I was abusing
I lied, I stole
Kept digging myself into a deeper hole
I really feel I ruined my life
Because by now I could've been his wife
But instead he just kicked me out
Didn't try to help me or want to figure it out
I've done some real terrible things
Drugs had me dancing on their strings
When I was using nothing mattered
Always felt beat up and battered
I also felt so lost and alone
Like walking around like some kind of drone
694 reads
1 Comment
MISCELLANEOUS POEM
Published
17th Aug 2015 8:26pm
17th Aug 2015 8:26pm
Gram
I love you, I miss you
I want to hug and kiss you
All the things to you that I've done wrong
Want to say I'm sorry but now you're gone
When you passed I was already locked up
So when I found out it completely messed me up
I have to live with my mistake for the rest of my life
I have to live with the guilt and the strife
The only way I can think of to make it up to you is to live my life right
But I know it's going to be a constant fight
A fight against pain or pleasure
It's something you really cannot measure
It's not pleasure I'm after, just...
I want to hug and kiss you
All the things to you that I've done wrong
Want to say I'm sorry but now you're gone
When you passed I was already locked up
So when I found out it completely messed me up
I have to live with my mistake for the rest of my life
I have to live with the guilt and the strife
The only way I can think of to make it up to you is to live my life right
But I know it's going to be a constant fight
A fight against pain or pleasure
It's something you really cannot measure
It's not pleasure I'm after, just...
667 reads
0 Comments
SELF POEM
Published
17th Aug 2015 5:50pm
17th Aug 2015 5:50pm
Never/Not Good Enough
Why do you care about the color of my hair?
The way I walk, the way I talk?
The metal in my ears or in my face,
Is that why I wasn't good enough to take to your place?
Never noticed when I did good,
I wonder if you even could
You only ever saw the bad,
The chance to prove you wrong I never had
And then you left, poof you were gone
To a life of chaos now I was drawn
When we're together you always put me down
Sitting high upon your horse wearing that ugly crown
Even before you left you were never there for me
To tell me you were proud or that...
The way I walk, the way I talk?
The metal in my ears or in my face,
Is that why I wasn't good enough to take to your place?
Never noticed when I did good,
I wonder if you even could
You only ever saw the bad,
The chance to prove you wrong I never had
And then you left, poof you were gone
To a life of chaos now I was drawn
When we're together you always put me down
Sitting high upon your horse wearing that ugly crown
Even before you left you were never there for me
To tell me you were proud or that...
688 reads
0 Comments
DRUGS POEM
Published
2nd Aug 2015 7:14pm
2nd Aug 2015 7:14pm
Lost Little Girl
I'm the kid who weeps and wallows
The one who leads but mostly follows
What is it about me that I don't know
Not sure in which direction I should go
Beat up and tormented by my brain
Feeling like I'm going insane
To no one I could explain the way I felt
Self-mutilating to cope with the cards I was dealt
I then found drugs as my new escape
But how much more would I let them take
Living in an abandoned house in the snow
Simply because I had nowhere to go
Tried to end the pain and kill myself after a while
Just so sick and tired of heroin's...
The one who leads but mostly follows
What is it about me that I don't know
Not sure in which direction I should go
Beat up and tormented by my brain
Feeling like I'm going insane
To no one I could explain the way I felt
Self-mutilating to cope with the cards I was dealt
I then found drugs as my new escape
But how much more would I let them take
Living in an abandoned house in the snow
Simply because I had nowhere to go
Tried to end the pain and kill myself after a while
Just so sick and tired of heroin's...
846 reads
3 Comments
MISCELLANEOUS POEM
Published
28th Jul 2015 4:55pm
28th Jul 2015 4:55pm
F*CK YOU!
I walk on foot to the demeanor of all existence. I lost a love and kept a friendship doesn't last forever, so many great ones lost along the way to go you spilled the coke in the dog dish upstairs in the coffee room where I live in fear of my own demise. Shaking and torn from the inside out I feel the burn of serious doubt-fullness in my presence under the trees it's time to be one of the reconciled demons that bring me to this wretched place of lies and deceit. Skin tearing at the seems like forever this day is going by myself I shall eat a bowl of squirmy wormies. The mind-boggling putred...
692 reads
1 Comment
MISCELLANEOUS POEM
Published
28th Jul 2015 1:59am
28th Jul 2015 1:59am
UH....AS A HUMAN BEING
All the names, all the games, all the frames, to them no pictures speak a thousand words of encouragement....can I hit it, that bong that is if you can spare it your life ain't worth shit on your shoe laces taking places in your mind going blind, taking turns around the world your car hurled over a cliff, sniff some coke on the way down plummeting to Earth while a birth defect erects on the horizon driving you crazy all the hazy things right in front of you lying there with one shoe on and one shoe off cough, cough, cough the weed is getting harsh words come from the hate I see in everyone I...
776 reads
1 Comment
DARK POEM
Published
28th Jul 2015 1:31am
28th Jul 2015 1:31am
Torture Chamber [SURGE]
Out in the pouring rain, body chained to a tree, head hanging there all limp I felt the excruciating pain of my body being torn apart limb from limb the pieces fall into a giant tank of acid eating away at all that I am. No remains of my mangled self are left to be remembered by no one anyways I'm unknown to those who've been around and back again here they are to beat me with their whips and chains finally cracked after over an hour of the lashings made me numb all over me the blisters bleed and throb with torment. They cage me up inside a box to rot away in hell sounds better than what I...
633 reads
0 Comments
DRUGS POEM
Published
27th Jul 2015 5:01pm
27th Jul 2015 5:01pm
Broken and Torn
I sit alone to think and write
Pretending everything in my life is alright
Hiding my emotions behind this mask
I don't know what's wrong with me so don't even ask
I love the way heroin makes me feel
It makes everything not so real
I fall into it's sweet seduction
But all it causes is deep destruction
I hate the way it makes me live
Feel I have nothing more to give
I hide behind this cloud of shame
But I'm the only one to blame
I've become the social outcast
And I don't know how much longer I can last
Before my depression eats me alive...
Pretending everything in my life is alright
Hiding my emotions behind this mask
I don't know what's wrong with me so don't even ask
I love the way heroin makes me feel
It makes everything not so real
I fall into it's sweet seduction
But all it causes is deep destruction
I hate the way it makes me live
Feel I have nothing more to give
I hide behind this cloud of shame
But I'm the only one to blame
I've become the social outcast
And I don't know how much longer I can last
Before my depression eats me alive...
866 reads
2 Comments
DRUGS POEM
Published
27th Jul 2015 4:52pm
27th Jul 2015 4:52pm
IT
I smell the intoxicating scent
The invigorating aroma
I want to give in but I'm already spent
IT's already taken so much from me
So how could it be
That my body aches, craves
Yearns for IT's relief
IT calls me
The urge so strong
IT haunts me in my sleep
But I know it's so wrong
I must learn to say no
For the next place I'll surely go
Is to an early grave
So I'll have to fight to be brave
And not give in to....IT!!!!
The invigorating aroma
I want to give in but I'm already spent
IT's already taken so much from me
So how could it be
That my body aches, craves
Yearns for IT's relief
IT calls me
The urge so strong
IT haunts me in my sleep
But I know it's so wrong
I must learn to say no
For the next place I'll surely go
Is to an early grave
So I'll have to fight to be brave
And not give in to....IT!!!!
602 reads
2 Comments
DU Poetry : Submissions by akocz (Amanda Kocz)
