Submissions by WikipediaJunkie
POEMS AND SHORT STORIES
Poet Introduction
"I am just carbon, and bad timing."
SELF POEM
Published
19th Sep 2016 10:40am
19th Sep 2016 10:40am
That One Time I Died
That one time I died: we casually joke about that day so often now that sometimes, I almost forget what it actually means, the weight of it all. I disassociate, reducing the overall seriousness of the desperate decision I made that night.
I laugh about May 11th as if it happened to somebody else, anyone but me, like it were just a scene from some movie I’d seen, but then it starts to sink in – on May 11th, 2015 around 6:30 am, nearly two minutes, I was dead; I had completely ceased to exist.
“That one time I died” came dangerously close to being a day no one laughed, or made...
I laugh about May 11th as if it happened to somebody else, anyone but me, like it were just a scene from some movie I’d seen, but then it starts to sink in – on May 11th, 2015 around 6:30 am, nearly two minutes, I was dead; I had completely ceased to exist.
“That one time I died” came dangerously close to being a day no one laughed, or made...
908 reads
1 Comment
DRUGS POEM
Published
19th Sep 2016 10:22am
19th Sep 2016 10:22am
Seconds
It felt as though I’d been staring
at that loaded syringe for hours,
maybe even days:
hating it, loving it, wanting it,
wanting to hate it, wishing for more of it,
and then inevitably hating myself.
It’s irresistibly deadly and I can’t walk away.
My body ached, begging for anything
to take this emptiness away –
desperation can cause reckless decisions,
like injecting enough poison to kill most,
but not you, no, because you’re invincible.
After a few seconds of sober indecisiveness,
while I continued twirling that syringe...
at that loaded syringe for hours,
maybe even days:
hating it, loving it, wanting it,
wanting to hate it, wishing for more of it,
and then inevitably hating myself.
It’s irresistibly deadly and I can’t walk away.
My body ached, begging for anything
to take this emptiness away –
desperation can cause reckless decisions,
like injecting enough poison to kill most,
but not you, no, because you’re invincible.
After a few seconds of sober indecisiveness,
while I continued twirling that syringe...
1159 reads
4 Comments
DRUGS POEM
Published
22nd May 2015 1:57pm
22nd May 2015 1:57pm
4 AM Thoughts
Every single day is predictably the same
It's exactly like the day before, and
Just as those that follow after
And I’ve found myself in in a neverending cycle
I'm surrounded by all of the same helpless,
And seemingly hopeless friends
All of which I cannot seem to get rid of
Despite all of my greatest efforts.
My body feels uneasy -- RESTLESS
Not my legs, or the knee I'm quickly bouncing
I'm starting to think that maybe,
Maybe this time I really do what a change,
In my life, my friends, my habits and the
Way that...
It's exactly like the day before, and
Just as those that follow after
And I’ve found myself in in a neverending cycle
I'm surrounded by all of the same helpless,
And seemingly hopeless friends
All of which I cannot seem to get rid of
Despite all of my greatest efforts.
My body feels uneasy -- RESTLESS
Not my legs, or the knee I'm quickly bouncing
I'm starting to think that maybe,
Maybe this time I really do what a change,
In my life, my friends, my habits and the
Way that...
1400 reads
5 Comments
LOVE POEM
Published
8th Mar 2015 3:06pm
8th Mar 2015 3:06pm
Hiking Your Trails
You’re trying to deny that you’re a junkie
But your track marks have given you away,
Broadcasting your loneliness and showing us your pain
Don’t be ashamed,
The lines on your arm are beautiful trails
Leading to the deepest parts of you,
I want to hike those trails,
Climb to the steepest parts of you
And scream your name until your wounds heal
Until your sadness stops leaving scars on your arm,
Leaving you with secrets you have to conceal
And you don’t have to feel like you’re not enough
For the world anymore, ‘cause I’ve never seen scenery...
But your track marks have given you away,
Broadcasting your loneliness and showing us your pain
Don’t be ashamed,
The lines on your arm are beautiful trails
Leading to the deepest parts of you,
I want to hike those trails,
Climb to the steepest parts of you
And scream your name until your wounds heal
Until your sadness stops leaving scars on your arm,
Leaving you with secrets you have to conceal
And you don’t have to feel like you’re not enough
For the world anymore, ‘cause I’ve never seen scenery...
1591 reads
2 Comments
DRUGS POEM
Published
18th Feb 2015 2:21pm
18th Feb 2015 2:21pm
Inject and Forget (poem)
Getting high is supposed to make me forget about you
Making me indifferent towards your existence
It’s not working
The hours following my removal of the needle
Are plagued with regret
And thoughts like, “I miss her,
And I hate myself for it.”
With my dilated pupils unable to withstand
The light in my room, I close my eyes
And there are you are again
Staring at me with that look that says,
“You will never be more than this.”
Reminders of the damage done
By this gift you’ve forced me into accepting
Are everywhere, I can’t escape it...
Making me indifferent towards your existence
It’s not working
The hours following my removal of the needle
Are plagued with regret
And thoughts like, “I miss her,
And I hate myself for it.”
With my dilated pupils unable to withstand
The light in my room, I close my eyes
And there are you are again
Staring at me with that look that says,
“You will never be more than this.”
Reminders of the damage done
By this gift you’ve forced me into accepting
Are everywhere, I can’t escape it...
995 reads
1 Comment
SELF POEM
Published
17th Feb 2015 6:47pm
17th Feb 2015 6:47pm
Borderline
Another diagnosis, another consequence
For a crime which I didn’t commit
Punishment for actions I try so hard to forget
But even with my proclaimed innocence,
At twenty-three years old I remain imprisoned
I’ve been wrongly convicted
Do you think I asked to be trapped,
To be the victim of a monster’s dirty hands,
That I didn’t panic when I heard him lock me in,
When I heard the sound of the deadbolt click?
Why are you acting like I’m the monster?
I’m nervously explaining, “I swear,
I’m not heartless.”
Another gift the trauma’s given me...
For a crime which I didn’t commit
Punishment for actions I try so hard to forget
But even with my proclaimed innocence,
At twenty-three years old I remain imprisoned
I’ve been wrongly convicted
Do you think I asked to be trapped,
To be the victim of a monster’s dirty hands,
That I didn’t panic when I heard him lock me in,
When I heard the sound of the deadbolt click?
Why are you acting like I’m the monster?
I’m nervously explaining, “I swear,
I’m not heartless.”
Another gift the trauma’s given me...
1057 reads
1 Comment
DRUGS POEM
Published
17th Feb 2015 6:35pm
17th Feb 2015 6:35pm
Meth Mathematics
For my birthday I’d like a few new veins,
and a brand new life, okay?
Wrap up happiness, love, and a little bit of sanity
with Star Wars wrapping paper from
the mid to late 70’s, please?
And be sure to use bubble wrap
‘cause those can’t arrive to me cracked,
I can’t survive disappointment like that.
Please help me find a way out of this life
I’ve been trapped, and stop me
if I even think of going back.
The date today is October 17th
and I am now twenty-two years old,
still daydreaming of getting sober
before...
and a brand new life, okay?
Wrap up happiness, love, and a little bit of sanity
with Star Wars wrapping paper from
the mid to late 70’s, please?
And be sure to use bubble wrap
‘cause those can’t arrive to me cracked,
I can’t survive disappointment like that.
Please help me find a way out of this life
I’ve been trapped, and stop me
if I even think of going back.
The date today is October 17th
and I am now twenty-two years old,
still daydreaming of getting sober
before...
1900 reads
11 Comments
LOVE POEM
Published
12th Feb 2015 2:47pm
12th Feb 2015 2:47pm
The Last Word
And here I am again, soaked in coffee cups full of bottom shelf vodka, covered in the crushed white dust of 2mg Xanax bars, and writing about my heartache as if I haven’t been through this so many times before. The blood’s seeping through my grey shorts and I can still feel the relief of the pocket knife you thought you hid from me well enough. The sting reminds me that you are not the only weapon capable of causing me pain, reminds me that my own hands can tear open my skin even better than you can, the blood dripping down the inside of my thigh shows me there’s more left inside of me than...
1029 reads
1 Comment
NON-FICTION PROSE
Published
12th Feb 2015 1:39pm
12th Feb 2015 1:39pm
Notes on Loving A Poet
Advice? Don’t fall in love with a poet. Avoid the perfectly scripted promises the same way you’d run from the bullet of an angry gun and with just as much heart pounding panic and unwavering determination. Act as if the train is coming right in your direction, get off of the tracks, run as fast as you can before it’s too late.
Poets can make you believe, trust, see anything we want, anything we aren’t but wish we could be, or for a second believe we are. Able to make any mistake and every emotionally criminal decision sound like only a beautiful life lesson, something innocent, act...
Poets can make you believe, trust, see anything we want, anything we aren’t but wish we could be, or for a second believe we are. Able to make any mistake and every emotionally criminal decision sound like only a beautiful life lesson, something innocent, act...
1278 reads
5 Comments
LOVE POEM
Published
1st Feb 2015 12:03pm
1st Feb 2015 12:03pm
Hypocrisy of Junkie Love
Being in a relationship with an addict,
Or even simply caring about one
Is so unbelievably difficult
Until recently, I never knew how much.
It’s hard to watch someone you love
Be blatantly careless and self-destructive
It’s hard watching the person you want
To spend the rest of your life with,
Be so hell-bent on ending their own.
Could you remain silent while your lover
Held up a gun to her temple?
Could you watch as she put her finger
On the trigger? Would you not
Do anything to stop her, to intervene?
A loaded...
Or even simply caring about one
Is so unbelievably difficult
Until recently, I never knew how much.
It’s hard to watch someone you love
Be blatantly careless and self-destructive
It’s hard watching the person you want
To spend the rest of your life with,
Be so hell-bent on ending their own.
Could you remain silent while your lover
Held up a gun to her temple?
Could you watch as she put her finger
On the trigger? Would you not
Do anything to stop her, to intervene?
A loaded...
1157 reads
3 Comments
DRUGS POEM
Published
29th Aug 2014 6:10pm
29th Aug 2014 6:10pm
Stockholm Syndrome
As I exit the freeway and head downtown,
That recurring itch returns,
The type of itch only a syringe
Can scratch and my veins are restless,
Desperate for relief.
It’s an achy, “need to have it now”
Kind of feeling growing deep
Inside my chest,
Driving down familiar streets, passing
Empty parking lots and
Alleyways I swore I'd never revisit --
I feel nauseous.
Panicked butterflies are at war in my
Stomach, intrusive thoughts of
Relapse, are now
Clouding my better judgment.
Somehow I got lost,
Took a...
That recurring itch returns,
The type of itch only a syringe
Can scratch and my veins are restless,
Desperate for relief.
It’s an achy, “need to have it now”
Kind of feeling growing deep
Inside my chest,
Driving down familiar streets, passing
Empty parking lots and
Alleyways I swore I'd never revisit --
I feel nauseous.
Panicked butterflies are at war in my
Stomach, intrusive thoughts of
Relapse, are now
Clouding my better judgment.
Somehow I got lost,
Took a...
1059 reads
3 Comments
LOVE POEM
Published
7th Jun 2014 2:45am
7th Jun 2014 2:45am
What If We Fell In Love?
We’re sitting in silence as our hands scatter across lighted keyboards and I can’t help but wonder, what if we fell in love? That’s possible, right? I swear there have been times where I almost said it, “I love you.” but thought it better if I didn’t. It’s always in the back of my throat, waiting to be written down in a cliché love poem but each time I decide to swallow. But even as I’m holding back those words, I can help but wonder if maybe it could happen for us. Maybe you’ll keep making me laugh, I’ll keep hanging on your every breath and maybe this could actually last.
I’m not...
I’m not...
940 reads
2 Comments
DU Poetry : Submissions by WikipediaJunkie
