Submissions by Matthias_Crossed (Matthias Lambert)
POEMS AND SHORT STORIES
To my beloved
To my beloved
If my life was a poem,
You'd be my favorite line.
The one i repeat in my head,
Becoming a constant thought.
A hymn that i cannot forget.
Chanting it in whispers throughout my day.
You make me want to go on for another day.
If my day was a song,
You'd be my favorite verse.
The part i know by heart,
Without having to rehearse.
I sing it loud when the song comes on.
You give me reason to go on.
Out of all the flowers in my garden.
You are a tree.
Tall and evergreen,...
If my life was a poem,
You'd be my favorite line.
The one i repeat in my head,
Becoming a constant thought.
A hymn that i cannot forget.
Chanting it in whispers throughout my day.
You make me want to go on for another day.
If my day was a song,
You'd be my favorite verse.
The part i know by heart,
Without having to rehearse.
I sing it loud when the song comes on.
You give me reason to go on.
Out of all the flowers in my garden.
You are a tree.
Tall and evergreen,...
#love
#boyfriend
#TruthOfLife
604 reads
3 Comments
Isn't this fair?
I did to you what you do to me.
You got mad,
I was confused.
I said it was fair but you didnt care.
You scared me and beat me.
I pleaded for you to forgive me.
My body aches and bruises.
The cuts deep and stinging.
This physical pain won't last long.
It's the words that hurt the worst.
I tried to make it right.
Things only got worse.
You called me out and i hoped you were happy.
That's when things got dark.
Dizzy and dingy.
Im covered in mud.
I tried to be friends,
But you were...
You got mad,
I was confused.
I said it was fair but you didnt care.
You scared me and beat me.
I pleaded for you to forgive me.
My body aches and bruises.
The cuts deep and stinging.
This physical pain won't last long.
It's the words that hurt the worst.
I tried to make it right.
Things only got worse.
You called me out and i hoped you were happy.
That's when things got dark.
Dizzy and dingy.
Im covered in mud.
I tried to be friends,
But you were...
#ImSorry
#abuse
#confusion
468 reads
2 Comments
A tattered bag (continued)
A tattered bag
I hold my entire weight on my hands
Like a pile of stones.
My legs as useless as a marble in a brick wall.
I swallow another pill to help stop
This upchuck of vial and expell of everything i am.
To stop whatever i take in from going out.
When words i hear go in my ears and up my throat.
These pills dont help.
I still spew word vomit
I cannot hold down food.
My arms cannot bear the weight of my body any longer.
My body cannot contain all of who i am without breaking down.
I am a tattered bag...
I hold my entire weight on my hands
Like a pile of stones.
My legs as useless as a marble in a brick wall.
I swallow another pill to help stop
This upchuck of vial and expell of everything i am.
To stop whatever i take in from going out.
When words i hear go in my ears and up my throat.
These pills dont help.
I still spew word vomit
I cannot hold down food.
My arms cannot bear the weight of my body any longer.
My body cannot contain all of who i am without breaking down.
I am a tattered bag...
#drugs
#illness
#SelfReflection
342 reads
0 Comments
My friend and parasite.
I keep bringing myself back to the kitchen
But i dont want to eat.
I stare into the fridge just to see and smell the food before i bite my tongue and pretend im not hungry once again.
I repeat this day in and day out.
Anorexia has become my friend.
That one friend that influences you,
Changes you and tricks you into doing what they say,
But even though they arent nice.
You don't know how to go on without them. I have grown dependent on my lack of eatting.
I am sick. Anorexia was my friend and is now a parasite living off of my misery.
I...
But i dont want to eat.
I stare into the fridge just to see and smell the food before i bite my tongue and pretend im not hungry once again.
I repeat this day in and day out.
Anorexia has become my friend.
That one friend that influences you,
Changes you and tricks you into doing what they say,
But even though they arent nice.
You don't know how to go on without them. I have grown dependent on my lack of eatting.
I am sick. Anorexia was my friend and is now a parasite living off of my misery.
I...
#illness
#MentalHealth
#myself
388 reads
3 Comments
Proposal to my better half
You have the starting role in my best dreams
And a reserved spot as my first thought when I wake up and last before i sleep.
You make my heart flutter faster than a humming birds wings and you make me forget how to speak.
You keep me up at night because im afraid if i fall asleep I'll wake up to this all being a dream.
I know it isn't though because I could never make up someone as amazing as you.
I love you and i never want to leave you or be apart from you.
I cant wait until the day we can meet. That day will be out first beside each other and our last...
And a reserved spot as my first thought when I wake up and last before i sleep.
You make my heart flutter faster than a humming birds wings and you make me forget how to speak.
You keep me up at night because im afraid if i fall asleep I'll wake up to this all being a dream.
I know it isn't though because I could never make up someone as amazing as you.
I love you and i never want to leave you or be apart from you.
I cant wait until the day we can meet. That day will be out first beside each other and our last...
#love
#gay
#marriage #LGBT
#marriage #LGBT
498 reads
0 Comments
A tattered bag
I hold my entire weight on my hands
Like a pile of stones.
My legs as useless as a marble in a brick wall.
I swallow another pill to help stop
This upchuck of vial and expell of everything i am.
To stop whatever i take in from going out.
When words i hear go in my ears and up my throat.
These pills dont help.
I still spew word vomit
I cannot hold down food.
My arms cannot bear the weight of my body any longer.
My body cannot contain all of who i am without breaking down.
I am a tattered bag
Torn at every seem ...
Like a pile of stones.
My legs as useless as a marble in a brick wall.
I swallow another pill to help stop
This upchuck of vial and expell of everything i am.
To stop whatever i take in from going out.
When words i hear go in my ears and up my throat.
These pills dont help.
I still spew word vomit
I cannot hold down food.
My arms cannot bear the weight of my body any longer.
My body cannot contain all of who i am without breaking down.
I am a tattered bag
Torn at every seem ...
#sadness
#depression
#myself
381 reads
0 Comments
Just a rant
Do you ever feel the need to just talk
and scream
and have someone listen
or even just being the same room
but you want to be alone at the same exact time
that's how I feel right now.
as I look at my sisters
one older one younger
But both so skinny and beautiful
both so perfect
and I'm over here
just a bundle of mistakes
seizures
medical disorders
and in the wrong body
with the wrong brains
but they're perfect
they get along and their loved
and are respected
and treated...
and scream
and have someone listen
or even just being the same room
but you want to be alone at the same exact time
that's how I feel right now.
as I look at my sisters
one older one younger
But both so skinny and beautiful
both so perfect
and I'm over here
just a bundle of mistakes
seizures
medical disorders
and in the wrong body
with the wrong brains
but they're perfect
they get along and their loved
and are respected
and treated...
#jealousy
#hate
#loneliness
425 reads
0 Comments
Not worthy of a place.
This is just a rant.
I feel like im not enough.
I look around.
See all these boys just like me.
Unnoticable to others about what they are.
Unable to tell them apart from anyone else.
Standing out like a cactus in a rose garden is me.
I dont pass and i dont fit in.
As ugly as that old doll you had when you were young.
Covered in marks,
Hair a mess,
Clothes not fitting right.
I am not beautiful.
I look for inspiration on social media about people like me.
Hopes and prayers that I am not the only one.
But i...
I feel like im not enough.
I look around.
See all these boys just like me.
Unnoticable to others about what they are.
Unable to tell them apart from anyone else.
Standing out like a cactus in a rose garden is me.
I dont pass and i dont fit in.
As ugly as that old doll you had when you were young.
Covered in marks,
Hair a mess,
Clothes not fitting right.
I am not beautiful.
I look for inspiration on social media about people like me.
Hopes and prayers that I am not the only one.
But i...
#gay
#LGBT
#silence #transgender
#silence #transgender
479 reads
5 Comments
My muse, my love, a distance
A muse like no other
Unable to be reached,
A distance between us
And a connection never broken
To see and only hear
I feel only in imagination
A silver haired god
Skin of porcelain and gold
Eyes as bright as a sun
But as blue as the sea
A distance between
But a care and admiration that stretches across.
To never touch but only see and hear.
As a true god would be.
You may never feel but you can always hear and speak to.
My porcelain prince
With his head held high
Never...
Unable to be reached,
A distance between us
And a connection never broken
To see and only hear
I feel only in imagination
A silver haired god
Skin of porcelain and gold
Eyes as bright as a sun
But as blue as the sea
A distance between
But a care and admiration that stretches across.
To never touch but only see and hear.
As a true god would be.
You may never feel but you can always hear and speak to.
My porcelain prince
With his head held high
Never...
#love
576 reads
1 Comment
Dream and believe
A dream so far away
And out of reach to most.
Many wait to make dreams come true
And many try.
Few succeed and fulfill this dream.
A dream of a mirror that makes you smile
The reflection of a true self
And a realization of selflove.
The body is only an exterior
To the mind which doesnt agree.
A note to those like me.
I am a voice
And i am listening.
Do not let your dreams be just dreams.
Reach and strive.
Never let anyone stop you
Or tell you your dream isnt worth it.
...
And out of reach to most.
Many wait to make dreams come true
And many try.
Few succeed and fulfill this dream.
A dream of a mirror that makes you smile
The reflection of a true self
And a realization of selflove.
The body is only an exterior
To the mind which doesnt agree.
A note to those like me.
I am a voice
And i am listening.
Do not let your dreams be just dreams.
Reach and strive.
Never let anyone stop you
Or tell you your dream isnt worth it.
...
#gay
#dreams
#LGBT #silence
#LGBT #silence
507 reads
0 Comments
Bandages that hurt instead of heal
I wear these bandages.
I bruise my ribs with them.
I wrap them so tight that i cannot breath.
I have cracked ribs and hurt my back.
All for a flat chest.
I am in so much pain from unsafe binding but i continue.
Because despite the terrible pain,
When i look in the mirror once fully dressed I am able to smile.
For i no longer see a girl.
I see me. A boy.
Having waited too long to be seen.
I see freedom despite the pain.
I use bandages to hide my chest despite the danger and how unsafe it is for me. ...
I bruise my ribs with them.
I wrap them so tight that i cannot breath.
I have cracked ribs and hurt my back.
All for a flat chest.
I am in so much pain from unsafe binding but i continue.
Because despite the terrible pain,
When i look in the mirror once fully dressed I am able to smile.
For i no longer see a girl.
I see me. A boy.
Having waited too long to be seen.
I see freedom despite the pain.
I use bandages to hide my chest despite the danger and how unsafe it is for me. ...
#gay
#LGBT
#LifeStruggles
#silence
#suffering
432 reads
5 Comments
A lost boy
Have you ever been both happy and sad at the same time?
Well, I am constantly.
I am happy that I came out of the closet to my parents about being a boy,
It saddens me that they say it is a phase.
I am happy I am able to be me online.
It makes me sad to know that the internet is the only place I can be me.
It made me happy when I came out as gay a year later.
It saddened me to know my parents thought I am probably just a tomboy who is straight and confused.
I am happy that I have friends who support me and care for me.
...I am sad that I have to...
Well, I am constantly.
I am happy that I came out of the closet to my parents about being a boy,
It saddens me that they say it is a phase.
I am happy I am able to be me online.
It makes me sad to know that the internet is the only place I can be me.
It made me happy when I came out as gay a year later.
It saddened me to know my parents thought I am probably just a tomboy who is straight and confused.
I am happy that I have friends who support me and care for me.
...I am sad that I have to...
#loneliness
#LGBT
#silence
405 reads
3 Comments
DU Poetry : Submissions by Matthias_Crossed (Matthias Lambert)