Submissions by Liziantus-Marantus (Ivelina Boneva)
POEMS AND SHORT STORIES
Poet Introduction
If you want to see my newest,add me on my social medias. I share them to friends. // instagram: puffycerealover I also post art on instagram.
SELF POEM
Published
31st Mar 2023 12:48pm
31st Mar 2023 12:48pm
Questions Of The Soul
The wax is dripping onto my hands.
It hurts to think I have no friends.
i feel like a burden as I look back at all the demands.
Thinking to myself,"Did I do anything right?,
Did I acidentally start a fight?""
Now I lay back on my bed,thinking..
Was I the bad guy the whole time for all that?
I shouldn't be ashamed to ask for necessities,
that's true.
But sometimes I feel like that will be the end of me too.
Thinking,did I ask for too much?
Is the price range too high when I budge?
Will they end...
It hurts to think I have no friends.
i feel like a burden as I look back at all the demands.
Thinking to myself,"Did I do anything right?,
Did I acidentally start a fight?""
Now I lay back on my bed,thinking..
Was I the bad guy the whole time for all that?
I shouldn't be ashamed to ask for necessities,
that's true.
But sometimes I feel like that will be the end of me too.
Thinking,did I ask for too much?
Is the price range too high when I budge?
Will they end...
#depression
#LifeStruggles
222 reads
1 Comment
SELF POEM
Published
17th Mar 2023 12:39pm
17th Mar 2023 12:39pm
Desires Of My Soul
Origami is the first thing I ever learned to fold.
To move on is something I was always told.
But no matter how much I wanted to,
I could not move on from the past.
Or all the obstacles I couldn't get past.
My heart was a garden of roses,flowers and violets.
Untill the truth came to me with violence.
The flowers died,and so did a part of me.
I wish things are how they used to be.
When we were children,kind and carefree.
When we were pure,with no sadness and evil.
When all the times were medieval.
When we...
To move on is something I was always told.
But no matter how much I wanted to,
I could not move on from the past.
Or all the obstacles I couldn't get past.
My heart was a garden of roses,flowers and violets.
Untill the truth came to me with violence.
The flowers died,and so did a part of me.
I wish things are how they used to be.
When we were children,kind and carefree.
When we were pure,with no sadness and evil.
When all the times were medieval.
When we...
#nostalgia
164 reads
0 Comments
SELF POEM
Published
9th Mar 2023 2:25pm
9th Mar 2023 2:25pm
Essence Of Childhood Memories
Last night I was scrolling through my phone.
Looking through all the pictures on my phone.
I looked through pictures of memories,family and friends.
Looking back at all the demands.
Looking at the pictures of my happy friends.
Now my gallery is just black and white.
Spending my time lonely all night.
I swear,if I could bring back the memories,I really would.
But right now,there's no way I should.
The years passed,the destinations had changed.
I can no longer see those people from a close range.
And so a black cloud...
Looking through all the pictures on my phone.
I looked through pictures of memories,family and friends.
Looking back at all the demands.
Looking at the pictures of my happy friends.
Now my gallery is just black and white.
Spending my time lonely all night.
I swear,if I could bring back the memories,I really would.
But right now,there's no way I should.
The years passed,the destinations had changed.
I can no longer see those people from a close range.
And so a black cloud...
#memories
#nostalgia
296 reads
1 Comment
SELF POEM
Published
1st Mar 2023 3:13pm
1st Mar 2023 3:13pm
Painting My Future
I was looking at my life.
I took my paints and wondered what my future will be.
Wondering what will later happen to me.
I tried to paint a sun and grass full of green.
Wondering if I will ever heal from what I have been.
Then I painted a field of flowers and roses.
While my mental state decomposes.
Then I painted a husband, funny and smart.
Wondering if he will treat me nice,like i want.
I painted a house - pretty and cozy.
With big gates,that will protect me from evil.
And next to my paintings,a paint stained...
I took my paints and wondered what my future will be.
Wondering what will later happen to me.
I tried to paint a sun and grass full of green.
Wondering if I will ever heal from what I have been.
Then I painted a field of flowers and roses.
While my mental state decomposes.
Then I painted a husband, funny and smart.
Wondering if he will treat me nice,like i want.
I painted a house - pretty and cozy.
With big gates,that will protect me from evil.
And next to my paintings,a paint stained...
#depression
#loneliness
#LifeStruggles
225 reads
0 Comments
SELF POEM
Published
20th Feb 2023 12:50pm
20th Feb 2023 12:50pm
Once Upon Another Land
I swimmed in the sea of tears and regret.
Nobody believed it,no matter how much I shed.
And so I seeked comfort from my bed.
Waiting for it to take me to another land.
A place with magic,happiness and worry free.
Where characters act with sympathy like they understand me.
Where I'm happy,and nobody tries to blame me.
Or even,shame me for emotions I have no control over.
I don't want to feel like this no longer.
I don't want to bottle it up any longer.
Because I may explode like a bomb of built up trauma.
I have only my...
Nobody believed it,no matter how much I shed.
And so I seeked comfort from my bed.
Waiting for it to take me to another land.
A place with magic,happiness and worry free.
Where characters act with sympathy like they understand me.
Where I'm happy,and nobody tries to blame me.
Or even,shame me for emotions I have no control over.
I don't want to feel like this no longer.
I don't want to bottle it up any longer.
Because I may explode like a bomb of built up trauma.
I have only my...
#depression
#regret
#ImSorry
321 reads
0 Comments
SELF POEM
Published
7th Feb 2023 12:53pm
7th Feb 2023 12:53pm
The Person My Heart Needs
A font so beautiful,now so bold.
I wish I had a hand to hold.
Someone to guide me through the night.
Someone to make me feel less fright.
And maybe,to return my pride.
This is the kind of person I seek.
Somebody to hang out all week.
Just so i can feel less weak.
Somebody to talk,listen and chat.
No matter what what the topic
between us is. I won't judge you,
no matter what you do.
I just want to hold someone's hand,
that's true.
No matter your race.
No matter your interests or face. ...
I wish I had a hand to hold.
Someone to guide me through the night.
Someone to make me feel less fright.
And maybe,to return my pride.
This is the kind of person I seek.
Somebody to hang out all week.
Just so i can feel less weak.
Somebody to talk,listen and chat.
No matter what what the topic
between us is. I won't judge you,
no matter what you do.
I just want to hold someone's hand,
that's true.
No matter your race.
No matter your interests or face. ...
#depression
#loneliness
#emptiness
158 reads
0 Comments
SELF POEM
Published
27th Jan 2023 3:43pm
27th Jan 2023 3:43pm
Hopes Of Emptiness
The pot so beautiful is now shattered like a wine glass.
The paint had been worked on for years.
Now it's destroyed by fears.
The paint had been wiped by the tears she shed.
Maybe even all the promises she kept.
She could no longer keep it in her head.
And so an explosion of monsters and fears was made.
Wiping the smiles off people she had once loved.
Wiping the memories of the ones she still loved.
All of a sudden,they started acting strange.
Smiles and laughter is something they could no longer exchange.
And...
The paint had been worked on for years.
Now it's destroyed by fears.
The paint had been wiped by the tears she shed.
Maybe even all the promises she kept.
She could no longer keep it in her head.
And so an explosion of monsters and fears was made.
Wiping the smiles off people she had once loved.
Wiping the memories of the ones she still loved.
All of a sudden,they started acting strange.
Smiles and laughter is something they could no longer exchange.
And...
#depression
#betrayal
#emptiness
310 reads
1 Comment
OBSERVATIONAL POEM
Published
19th Jan 2023 12:50pm
19th Jan 2023 12:50pm
Monster Behind Truth
My feelings seem to be a mess.
It doesn't matter how I dress.
I'm craving something,I must confess.
I'm craving a feeling of being loved, happy and safe.
I will do whatever it takes.
Even if I go across mountains and lakes.
No matter what I face.
No matter if to you I may be a disgrace.
I must find a familiar face.
Someone who has a warm embrace.
I hate to say this,but there's nobody this true.
You don't know what is hiding behind the truth.
There's a monster hiding behind.
A...
It doesn't matter how I dress.
I'm craving something,I must confess.
I'm craving a feeling of being loved, happy and safe.
I will do whatever it takes.
Even if I go across mountains and lakes.
No matter what I face.
No matter if to you I may be a disgrace.
I must find a familiar face.
Someone who has a warm embrace.
I hate to say this,but there's nobody this true.
You don't know what is hiding behind the truth.
There's a monster hiding behind.
A...
#dark
#honesty
245 reads
1 Comment
SELF POEM
Published
19th Jan 2023 12:37pm
19th Jan 2023 12:37pm
Butterfly Of Loneliness
Outside,I saw a butterfly.
She was too shy to fly.
""But what if I fail?"", she said as she wept diamonds.
She spread her wings and fell on the ground.
It seems her hope is nowhere to be found.
Then she met a ladybug,that helped her up to fly.
She said,"" Trust me,just try!"".
But again,hope was nowhere to be found.
Someone had turned it into ashes on the ground.
None of her color is left, or found.
Now the butterfly wanders the cold forest all alone.
Waiting to feel an emotion that is warm.
Up in...
She was too shy to fly.
""But what if I fail?"", she said as she wept diamonds.
She spread her wings and fell on the ground.
It seems her hope is nowhere to be found.
Then she met a ladybug,that helped her up to fly.
She said,"" Trust me,just try!"".
But again,hope was nowhere to be found.
Someone had turned it into ashes on the ground.
None of her color is left, or found.
Now the butterfly wanders the cold forest all alone.
Waiting to feel an emotion that is warm.
Up in...
#loneliness
#emptiness
202 reads
0 Comments
SELF POEM
Published
10th Jan 2023 1:55pm
10th Jan 2023 1:55pm
Illusion Of His Presence
You abandoned me at my worst,
when you should have gotten to know me first.
My throat is dry,and so i feel thirst.
But no words can fullfill that thirst.
I have to get my affection first.
But who will give that to me,when nobody has done that in years?
""It's new year!"", they said as they cheered.
While I still have nobody near me.
Angel guardian,can you hear me?
I asked as I shouted in the sky.
But i didn't get no reply. Just the wind blowing in my hair.
Do you even truly care? Was my past even fair?
...
when you should have gotten to know me first.
My throat is dry,and so i feel thirst.
But no words can fullfill that thirst.
I have to get my affection first.
But who will give that to me,when nobody has done that in years?
""It's new year!"", they said as they cheered.
While I still have nobody near me.
Angel guardian,can you hear me?
I asked as I shouted in the sky.
But i didn't get no reply. Just the wind blowing in my hair.
Do you even truly care? Was my past even fair?
...
#loneliness
#emptiness
316 reads
0 Comments
SELF POEM
Published
31st Dec 2022 12:29pm
31st Dec 2022 12:29pm
Good Old TImes
All I wanted was for you to return.
My loneliness is starting to burn.
It's eating my feelings out tonight.
But how am I still alive?
My insides are covered in rashes and pain.
Yet,I can still enjoy the rain.
Let the rain sounds cleanse me right and through.
But they can't heal everything,that is true.
No matter how much cream I apply to the wound,
when I see you,I will cry harder than a wolf.
I struggle to show my emotions right away.
But I need you,so please let me stay.
If I have to,I will buy you...
My loneliness is starting to burn.
It's eating my feelings out tonight.
But how am I still alive?
My insides are covered in rashes and pain.
Yet,I can still enjoy the rain.
Let the rain sounds cleanse me right and through.
But they can't heal everything,that is true.
No matter how much cream I apply to the wound,
when I see you,I will cry harder than a wolf.
I struggle to show my emotions right away.
But I need you,so please let me stay.
If I have to,I will buy you...
#depression
#memories
#nostalgia
240 reads
0 Comments
SELF POEM
Published
20th Dec 2022 2:22pm
20th Dec 2022 2:22pm
Jail Of Emotions
I learned to like you as I rode my bike.
Didn't know it will turn into an emotional fight.
I thought to myself, ""Maybe he loves me."".
And then I started to cry. ""Lies,he's telling lies!"",
I said as I tried not to cry.
Emotional support is something he never tried to give.
And now it's making it really hard to live.
Even the lightest stab can make me want to die.
Afterwards, I struggle to feel emotion. It's like I am stuck,
Frozen in time. To the past,i can't even say goodbye.
It made a large hole in my heart....
Didn't know it will turn into an emotional fight.
I thought to myself, ""Maybe he loves me."".
And then I started to cry. ""Lies,he's telling lies!"",
I said as I tried not to cry.
Emotional support is something he never tried to give.
And now it's making it really hard to live.
Even the lightest stab can make me want to die.
Afterwards, I struggle to feel emotion. It's like I am stuck,
Frozen in time. To the past,i can't even say goodbye.
It made a large hole in my heart....
#depression
#loneliness
258 reads
0 Comments
DU Poetry : Submissions by Liziantus-Marantus (Ivelina Boneva)
