Submissions by Ilphdril
POEMS AND SHORT STORIES
Poet Introduction
Been writing since I was young, strayed away for some time, but hope to come back, as it is very therapeutic for me, and one of my deepest passions. I've striven hard to come to the point of being able to find happiness in my uniquely beautiful chaos.
Effortless
Effortless
The comfort of our companionship
The smoothly flowing rhythms of repeatedly enjoying one another's company
Week after week, month after month
Effortless
The attraction I've felt for you
Since the first day we met...
Deep.
The bond I have connecting me to who
you are
Beautiful
The person I see inside your mind
Making me feel like I'm not the only one of my kind
Flawed
As imperfect as I am, you exist in your own universe
Universally controlled by the same Creator as mine
Strained
My attempts to keep...
The comfort of our companionship
The smoothly flowing rhythms of repeatedly enjoying one another's company
Week after week, month after month
Effortless
The attraction I've felt for you
Since the first day we met...
Deep.
The bond I have connecting me to who
you are
Beautiful
The person I see inside your mind
Making me feel like I'm not the only one of my kind
Flawed
As imperfect as I am, you exist in your own universe
Universally controlled by the same Creator as mine
Strained
My attempts to keep...
#rejection
#breakup
604 reads
1 Comment
Football with a Shoe
Hide and seek in the dark
Football with a shoe
We found it in the gutter
And I'll never forget you.
Wrestling and keep away,
You steal my shoes, put them in a tree.
Can't you see what you still do to me?
There's torture in the ecstasy.
When we first met I had a dream
About a guy with tattoos
Now almost two years later
I know for sure t'was you.
Some days I wish so badly
I could make my dreams come true,
The ones I wake up blushing from
Or just a warm feeling *such a fool...
Hours of us...
Football with a shoe
We found it in the gutter
And I'll never forget you.
Wrestling and keep away,
You steal my shoes, put them in a tree.
Can't you see what you still do to me?
There's torture in the ecstasy.
When we first met I had a dream
About a guy with tattoos
Now almost two years later
I know for sure t'was you.
Some days I wish so badly
I could make my dreams come true,
The ones I wake up blushing from
Or just a warm feeling *such a fool...
Hours of us...
522 reads
0 Comments
Would You
You are,
You're the only one that I really want.
I've been chasing after others for far too long
What's wrong
With me?
You are,
You're the only one that I really need.
I've been searching after copies and don't you agree?
It's wrong,
You see...
That you're the only one...
Would you
Just stop bein' perfect
Long enough for me to
Lose this bit of love?
When I dream
that I kissed your arm
and somehow
we're holding hands
and you don't jerk back
And I know it's a dream ...
You're the only one that I really want.
I've been chasing after others for far too long
What's wrong
With me?
You are,
You're the only one that I really need.
I've been searching after copies and don't you agree?
It's wrong,
You see...
That you're the only one...
Would you
Just stop bein' perfect
Long enough for me to
Lose this bit of love?
When I dream
that I kissed your arm
and somehow
we're holding hands
and you don't jerk back
And I know it's a dream ...
639 reads
0 Comments
Over.
You know you're over someone when you can fuck them and not get all emotionally screwed over afterwards.
No pain,
no wishing you could be together again,
no desire to go redo things...
Or you could just be becoming a sociopath like them...
Either way,
thanks for the endorphin rush.
No pain,
no wishing you could be together again,
no desire to go redo things...
Or you could just be becoming a sociopath like them...
Either way,
thanks for the endorphin rush.
506 reads
2 Comments
Just f**k It
Just fuck it.
Fuck this life where you can never get ahead
Not disabled enough to deserve help
but too disabled to get by without it...
Just fuck it.
Barely getting by,
Can't afford basic bills,
Seeing others go without because they're giving all they have for you and it's still not enough.
Just fuck it!
Don't vent to me! I'm half the problem!
I can't fix your side, and I'll just leave to fix mine.
Just fuck it!
When you feel on the verge of a breakthrough and it slips away
because of your shortcomings...
Fuck it.
Fuck...
Fuck this life where you can never get ahead
Not disabled enough to deserve help
but too disabled to get by without it...
Just fuck it.
Barely getting by,
Can't afford basic bills,
Seeing others go without because they're giving all they have for you and it's still not enough.
Just fuck it!
Don't vent to me! I'm half the problem!
I can't fix your side, and I'll just leave to fix mine.
Just fuck it!
When you feel on the verge of a breakthrough and it slips away
because of your shortcomings...
Fuck it.
Fuck...
2277 reads
2 Comments
Silence
Silence.
The wee hours of the morning.
Pressing.
On my chest as they go by.
Darkness
Perfect blackness like I need,
yet something keeps me staring to the sky
Silence
Not the ticking of a clock
Nor the humming of appliance
Not the sounds of passing cars
Stillness
Entombed in my silence
Yet still sleep evades my heart
Bed, sofa, hammock,
it doesn't matter where I lie,
I lie alone tonight as always
wondering when, and asking why.
This hell I know as wakefulness ...
The wee hours of the morning.
Pressing.
On my chest as they go by.
Darkness
Perfect blackness like I need,
yet something keeps me staring to the sky
Silence
Not the ticking of a clock
Nor the humming of appliance
Not the sounds of passing cars
Stillness
Entombed in my silence
Yet still sleep evades my heart
Bed, sofa, hammock,
it doesn't matter where I lie,
I lie alone tonight as always
wondering when, and asking why.
This hell I know as wakefulness ...
589 reads
2 Comments
Invisible
Lowest score on the IQ test is above 60 percent,
For me, it's impossible to be attracted to the unintelligent.
I've played around with a few; Settled, for my own selfish reasons...
But in the end always let them go because my conscience
couldn't allow me to let it go any farther...
But as time goes on, waiting seems to be getting harder...
All these shallow guys wanna settle down -use me as your housemaid,
wash your clothes and watch your kids, I do it all unpaid,
free babysitting, bruh you kidding?
-suggest a domestic relationship, I...
For me, it's impossible to be attracted to the unintelligent.
I've played around with a few; Settled, for my own selfish reasons...
But in the end always let them go because my conscience
couldn't allow me to let it go any farther...
But as time goes on, waiting seems to be getting harder...
All these shallow guys wanna settle down -use me as your housemaid,
wash your clothes and watch your kids, I do it all unpaid,
free babysitting, bruh you kidding?
-suggest a domestic relationship, I...
576 reads
0 Comments
My Grandma Anne's Hands (2014)
What must it be like, to know you are dying?
To know that you are living your last hours;
to know that soon, you will simply cease to exist?
What must it feel like? What thoughts go through one's mind?
I'm sure, as they say, you view your whole life's events,
and think about every thing you've ever said and done.
What must it be like, for your body to fail you?
To know you are losing strength, slowing down,
that the organs and muscles
that are supposed to make you mobile and independent
just don't quite do what they're supposed to any more......
To know that you are living your last hours;
to know that soon, you will simply cease to exist?
What must it feel like? What thoughts go through one's mind?
I'm sure, as they say, you view your whole life's events,
and think about every thing you've ever said and done.
What must it be like, for your body to fail you?
To know you are losing strength, slowing down,
that the organs and muscles
that are supposed to make you mobile and independent
just don't quite do what they're supposed to any more......
544 reads
0 Comments
Anger Over Pain
Implosion.
When the levels of anger, disappointment, frustration, and regret become overwhelming.
When you don't have the gas money to drive, the gym membership to climb, the friends to just give you a hug and say it'll be alright, or the ability to self soothe in some other appropriate manner...
When every song on the radio is irritating and grates on your nerves -none soothe the adrenaline out of your system or feed it till it's gone.
I just want to drive 90mph forever, and never stop. Just keep going till the rage passes. Till the pain goes away... ...
When the levels of anger, disappointment, frustration, and regret become overwhelming.
When you don't have the gas money to drive, the gym membership to climb, the friends to just give you a hug and say it'll be alright, or the ability to self soothe in some other appropriate manner...
When every song on the radio is irritating and grates on your nerves -none soothe the adrenaline out of your system or feed it till it's gone.
I just want to drive 90mph forever, and never stop. Just keep going till the rage passes. Till the pain goes away... ...
621 reads
0 Comments
On My Way Home...
Driving back to the yard at the end of a long work day, I notice a beautiful little coffee colored hand poking out the slightly opened back window of the vehicle to my right, feeling the playful raindrops coming down from the mixed emotional sky.
As I drive through the sun showers, the vivid living green of the trees and vegetation around me beckons to my senses through my raindrop speckled windshield.
At a stop light, I watch a young man in a bright blue shirt on the other side of the upcoming intersection -who's skin makes me think of midnight- jammin' out to a beat on his...
As I drive through the sun showers, the vivid living green of the trees and vegetation around me beckons to my senses through my raindrop speckled windshield.
At a stop light, I watch a young man in a bright blue shirt on the other side of the upcoming intersection -who's skin makes me think of midnight- jammin' out to a beat on his...
535 reads
0 Comments
Unmade
1-1-08
5:25am
He draws the pain like poison from my soul
into a glowing gaseous ball in His hands.
Some comes quickly, but some is slower
deeper, held onto more.
Once He has all I will give Him
in that swirling misty ball,
He speaks one word and it vanishes.
It exists no longer.
I cannot take it back.
He does not simply let me into a large room
with file cabinets.
He does not give me the password to my folder
where I can go and restore the files.
He unmakes it. Erases it. Makes it new. Gone.
In order for me...
5:25am
He draws the pain like poison from my soul
into a glowing gaseous ball in His hands.
Some comes quickly, but some is slower
deeper, held onto more.
Once He has all I will give Him
in that swirling misty ball,
He speaks one word and it vanishes.
It exists no longer.
I cannot take it back.
He does not simply let me into a large room
with file cabinets.
He does not give me the password to my folder
where I can go and restore the files.
He unmakes it. Erases it. Makes it new. Gone.
In order for me...
538 reads
2 Comments
My life 2013 -Journal Entry
That's it. I'm done. I must be emotionally dead.
Last night I was too tired to bother worrying about him...
This has happened too many times for me to waste energy on it...
All I felt was hurt. Deep, gut wrenching hurt.
I'm too hurt to be angry, too tired to lash out, but neither do I feel the wish to be intimate with him anymore...
It's been weeks since we really were and he actually got off... Longer since I felt it was anything but a chore, an obligation...
I am emotionally depleted.
What is left for my precious children now?
Every day I get up and...
Last night I was too tired to bother worrying about him...
This has happened too many times for me to waste energy on it...
All I felt was hurt. Deep, gut wrenching hurt.
I'm too hurt to be angry, too tired to lash out, but neither do I feel the wish to be intimate with him anymore...
It's been weeks since we really were and he actually got off... Longer since I felt it was anything but a chore, an obligation...
I am emotionally depleted.
What is left for my precious children now?
Every day I get up and...
505 reads
0 Comments
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