Submissions by Fallen_Angel_194 (Angel.)
POEMS AND SHORT STORIES
Poet Introduction
"Light the flowers of the earth like incense and come dance with me in a field of fire" - Johnny Ox
OBSERVATIONAL POEM
Published
Today 3:23am
Today 3:23am
Predator
You aren't quite like the predators in my dreams; but you brought the fear that comes along with them.
DUP is my safe place; was, my safe place. And You, You took that from me.
I have spent every night this week looking over my shoulder, and debating on whether or not I should delete my social media, and become a ghost, once again.
You claim it in the name of innocence, and curiosity; but it is neither. You said what you said to frighten me. And now, I am afraid all over again.
I look over my shoulder, and place my house keys between my knuckles when I take my dog...
DUP is my safe place; was, my safe place. And You, You took that from me.
I have spent every night this week looking over my shoulder, and debating on whether or not I should delete my social media, and become a ghost, once again.
You claim it in the name of innocence, and curiosity; but it is neither. You said what you said to frighten me. And now, I am afraid all over again.
I look over my shoulder, and place my house keys between my knuckles when I take my dog...
#abuse
#anxiety
#fear
44 reads
0 Comments
LOVE POEM
Published
17th Feb 2025 6:17am
17th Feb 2025 6:17am
Damned If I do.
We were laying in bed, skin to skin, legs wrapped around one another like two puzzle pieces, determined to fit together, no matter the curvy edges.
He kisses me so softly that I am afraid I am asleep, and that he is a beautiful dream I am doomed to wake up from; cold and alone.
But I haven't woken up yet, and if it is always like this with him, God; I hope I never do.
He holds me so gently at night, when we are sleeping; as if he is worried if he holds me too tightly I might break. But then again, he's seen me break apart before.
I was so afraid when it happened,...
He kisses me so softly that I am afraid I am asleep, and that he is a beautiful dream I am doomed to wake up from; cold and alone.
But I haven't woken up yet, and if it is always like this with him, God; I hope I never do.
He holds me so gently at night, when we are sleeping; as if he is worried if he holds me too tightly I might break. But then again, he's seen me break apart before.
I was so afraid when it happened,...
#lover
130 reads
2 Comments
LOVE POEM
Published
8th Oct 2024 1:56am
8th Oct 2024 1:56am
Eighteen
He kissed me in the rain a few months ago, and I swear to god, in that moment, I fell in love with him so much, in such a way that it took my breath away.
When he makes love to me, he is slow with his movements; as if i'd melt away if he didn't. When he is kissing his way down my stomach, he makes sure to comment on how beautiful i am, no matter where we are; he always tells me i'm beautiful, he says it so much, and so often that sometimes I think he is trying to instill the love he has for me, into the caverns of my lungs, so that hopefully i'll believe it, too.
He told me he...
When he makes love to me, he is slow with his movements; as if i'd melt away if he didn't. When he is kissing his way down my stomach, he makes sure to comment on how beautiful i am, no matter where we are; he always tells me i'm beautiful, he says it so much, and so often that sometimes I think he is trying to instill the love he has for me, into the caverns of my lungs, so that hopefully i'll believe it, too.
He told me he...
#boyfriend
#love
153 reads
4 Comments
LOVE POEM
Published
23rd Aug 2024 00:14am
23rd Aug 2024 00:14am
Emerald Eyes
I can cup his collarbones in the palms of my hands, strum my fingers across his rib cage like a guitar. He is the best music I have ever heard, and the sweetest kiss I will ever taste, that damned man, with his emerald eyes.
He makes me feel as if I am the only one in the room, and sometimes I can catch him counting the freckles that litter my cheeks, as if I am a work of art, when all I have ever felt is the opposite, until now, I suppose.
I can sip wine, from the indentations in his hip bones, taste honey on his lips, he is the sweetest thing I have ever tasted, that...
He makes me feel as if I am the only one in the room, and sometimes I can catch him counting the freckles that litter my cheeks, as if I am a work of art, when all I have ever felt is the opposite, until now, I suppose.
I can sip wine, from the indentations in his hip bones, taste honey on his lips, he is the sweetest thing I have ever tasted, that...
#love
164 reads
2 Comments
SELF POEM
Published
19th May 2024 4:17am
19th May 2024 4:17am
Loss
I prayed to jesus every Sunday, plucked away every stray eyelash and sent it to the wind; all for the hopes to become beautiful and thin. And as my twelve year old self spent her years carving into her skin, and slipping her fingers down into the hearth of her throat, I wish I could hold her, and love her the way she should've been.
I am much older now, and maybe the years have aged me, aged my mind in ways I never thought it could, and when I think of twelve year old me, alone in my room, Speaking to older men who would never love her, finding solace in between the lips of a...
I am much older now, and maybe the years have aged me, aged my mind in ways I never thought it could, and when I think of twelve year old me, alone in my room, Speaking to older men who would never love her, finding solace in between the lips of a...
#healing
#SelfHarm
#SelfWorth
253 reads
8 Comments
SELF POEM
Published
19th May 2024 3:54am
19th May 2024 3:54am
Food
I hate you
I’ve said it so many times, I think some days I might lose count.
I hate the way you make me feel, and I hate how empty I become when I eat.
I hate all the trouble you’ve caused me, and I hate when you used to slither your way up my throat in the midst of the night, hidden behind running steam showers and war cry Metallica playlists.
I hate that I have to consume you in the first place, and I hate you even more when I realize that my dinner is above a thousand calories.
I hate what you’ve turned me into, because I was never this bad in the first...
I’ve said it so many times, I think some days I might lose count.
I hate the way you make me feel, and I hate how empty I become when I eat.
I hate all the trouble you’ve caused me, and I hate when you used to slither your way up my throat in the midst of the night, hidden behind running steam showers and war cry Metallica playlists.
I hate that I have to consume you in the first place, and I hate you even more when I realize that my dinner is above a thousand calories.
I hate what you’ve turned me into, because I was never this bad in the first...
#EatingDisorder
#food
263 reads
2 Comments
SELF POEM
Published
2nd Apr 2024 3:29am
2nd Apr 2024 3:29am
Purge
There was an innate sort of control, that came with slipping my fingers down my throat,
Because at that moment, when the world went still and quiet, I had never felt more alive.
And maybe I was damned, from the moment I traded dinners for crushed ice and koolaid packets, or when I began to weigh myself every morning when I woke up, and every night when I went to bed, but god; could I have cared any less than in that small, moment of blissful silence.
I am older now, and eating tastes like chewed up fingernails and sugar free crystal light, But I am not doing it anymore;...
Because at that moment, when the world went still and quiet, I had never felt more alive.
And maybe I was damned, from the moment I traded dinners for crushed ice and koolaid packets, or when I began to weigh myself every morning when I woke up, and every night when I went to bed, but god; could I have cared any less than in that small, moment of blissful silence.
I am older now, and eating tastes like chewed up fingernails and sugar free crystal light, But I am not doing it anymore;...
#food
#EatingDisorder
271 reads
2 Comments
SELF POEM
Published
17th Feb 2024 3:37am
17th Feb 2024 3:37am
Your Young
No one ever tells you of the burden of being an older sister; how fucking hard it is, to leave your young, even when they were not born from your womb.
She and I wrestled upon my bed today, us laughing as we hurled pillows at one another, and then as it was time to go, she crawled into my arms, and told me she did not want to go, that I could come back with her, and she and I could share ice cream sandwiches.
I cry for her, because I was her, when MY older sister left, and I cry for her because she is the only child left in that house, alone and barren of all light and...
She and I wrestled upon my bed today, us laughing as we hurled pillows at one another, and then as it was time to go, she crawled into my arms, and told me she did not want to go, that I could come back with her, and she and I could share ice cream sandwiches.
I cry for her, because I was her, when MY older sister left, and I cry for her because she is the only child left in that house, alone and barren of all light and...
#hurt
229 reads
4 Comments
SELF POEM
Published
1st Feb 2024 4:43am
1st Feb 2024 4:43am
Sin and all of his friends
I have never known of love, but I have known of sin and all of his friends; and the lust that comes with them. I am so good at it, I am the best of them all, at pretending it does not hurt, knowing that someone would rather fuck me, than love me.
And maybe that is all I am good for, and how sad, that is.
That they could fuck me, spread my legs and sink into their little own piece of oblivion, but that they could not grow the spines to stick around, afterwards; that is perhaps, the saddest thing of all.
I have never known of a love, but I have known of the lust that comes...
And maybe that is all I am good for, and how sad, that is.
That they could fuck me, spread my legs and sink into their little own piece of oblivion, but that they could not grow the spines to stick around, afterwards; that is perhaps, the saddest thing of all.
I have never known of a love, but I have known of the lust that comes...
#depression
323 reads
3 Comments
SELF POEM
Published
1st Feb 2024 4:30am
1st Feb 2024 4:30am
Hollow
You scooped my insides out and left me as empty as a hollow pin pricked egg; left with nothing but half baked sorry ass text message apologies, and crying so hard at night I could not breathe.
I don't know why I always fall for men like you, perhaps it is something that I am missing within myself, that maybe I think that they must have; but never do.
I have been picked apart by so many people, my bones used as toothpicks and my heart as an ashtray; that I have somehow forgotten what being enough for someone felt like in the first place.
You told me you had...
I don't know why I always fall for men like you, perhaps it is something that I am missing within myself, that maybe I think that they must have; but never do.
I have been picked apart by so many people, my bones used as toothpicks and my heart as an ashtray; that I have somehow forgotten what being enough for someone felt like in the first place.
You told me you had...
#breakup
#feminism
233 reads
2 Comments
SELF POEM
Published
1st Oct 2023 5:22am
1st Oct 2023 5:22am
Approval
I wish I knew why you didn't like me, mommy. I have spent my whole life chasing something that tastes like your approval, even though it turns my stomach sour and cold.
I have cut away pieces and parts of myself, to fit into the shape that is you, and it will never be enough, I, will never be enough.
I am right here, mommy; waiting for you to finally realize that you have more than enough to love to share, enough to include me in window shopping trips, enough to buy me bath and body works lotions too, enough to call me more than just when you need something.
Your approval...
I have cut away pieces and parts of myself, to fit into the shape that is you, and it will never be enough, I, will never be enough.
I am right here, mommy; waiting for you to finally realize that you have more than enough to love to share, enough to include me in window shopping trips, enough to buy me bath and body works lotions too, enough to call me more than just when you need something.
Your approval...
#daughter
274 reads
2 Comments
SELF POEM
Published
24th Aug 2023 7:13am
24th Aug 2023 7:13am
In all his glory
Depression sits on a throne concocted of bones from all the lovers he ever kept with him in his bed, and he wears a crown of thorns plucked straight from the roses that once bloomed in the garden of Eden, he has many names; Tempestuous, The first fallen; Devil, At least in my mind.
He can make you feel so whole, and so not alone, and then he can make you feel as if you were the last being on earth herself. He is always there, prancing around in the deepest darkest spaces of my mind, taunting me. Because whether I like it or not, he knows all of me; every bad memory, ever trigger,...
He can make you feel so whole, and so not alone, and then he can make you feel as if you were the last being on earth herself. He is always there, prancing around in the deepest darkest spaces of my mind, taunting me. Because whether I like it or not, he knows all of me; every bad memory, ever trigger,...
#sadness
#depression
#MentalHealth
238 reads
1 Comment
DU Poetry : Submissions by Fallen_Angel_194 (Angel.)
