Submissions by Constellation_kiss

Mom thinks that by crying in the shower no one can hear but what she doesn't know is that sometimes I sit out by the door and cry with her.
Mom thinks that by walking to the edge of the yard I can't see her smoke
Mom thinks I don't know that the mug she grasp in her shaky hands isn't coffee at all, I'm aware it is tequila. I smell it on your shaky voice.  
Mom thinks she can hide her sadness but what she doesn't know is that her little blonde headed duplicate is looking up to her
That little blonde headed girl observes closely
That little blonde headed girl will grow up...

There are some things you just don’t need to know
Like the fact that I cry myself to sleep every single night
Or how just by walking outside I am reminded of you
I scream and drop to my knees in sadness
It is like every little every day task has become so much harder without you here
I just don’t know what to do with myself anymore
How could I have been so dumb and allowed you to come into my life
I have never regretted something so much
But is this really regrets or just guilt is all that I am feeling
Is it just me being guilty for missing you?...

I'm not strong like people think I am.
I break apart just as easily as everyone else.
I cry myself to sleep every night.
I let the stupidest things get to me
I get jealous at the most unreasonable times.
Oh boy do I get angry.
I let people get to me.
I am not strong.
I try.
I honestly do but at times you have to cry.
You have to fall to truly cherish the happy times.
It's okay
Too fall
Too break
Too cry
Too smile
Even the best fall down sometimes
And those words are the words I live by
They somehow fall together...

To late.
I have inhaled your toxins
Poisoned my own lungs
With this coldness of your heart
Hoping that with each breath I could purify your soul with my undying love
Seems I have been wrong
Again
Your change was only temporary
Trust thrown away as if it were a cigarette ash out a car window.
How could you?
How could you be so cruel?
I expected to much.
Assumed to quickly.
Voluntarily put myself into this position.
Thinking to myself
Oh darling, what were you thinking?
How could you be so dumb
Hopelessly lost in the idea of...