My dad is an asshole.....
....and I fully regret trying, yet again, to build a relationship with him.
It's really pathetic that, even at 41, I can still be emotionally effected by this. Maybe it's because my mom is dead and he's the only parent I still have. I dunno.
Either way, he's a piece of shit.
It's really pathetic that, even at 41, I can still be emotionally effected by this. Maybe it's because my mom is dead and he's the only parent I still have. I dunno.
Either way, he's a piece of shit.
Hello RByron, even with all the abuse, first my sister then mother and last Thanksgiving my father I'm the last one standing. Sometimes it confuses me how much I miss my parents cause of all the hurts. Sending warm embraces and hopefully a bit of peace. Hang in there dear friend, much respect,
Shadow 🌬️
Shadow 🌬️
I am sad to admit it but I too am apart of the shitty dads club. My mom's not dead but she married an abusive alcoholic (step-dad) and my biological father is a supposed recovering junkie but every time I see or talk to him he's never sober.
Anonymous
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My dad died in 1994
This was a person who drove finishing nails through my feet when I was about 4 years old, so I couldn't run away, while he pulled cavities outta my mouth with household pliers. There were other abuses but I only remember the " good " stuff. I despised that person. When he died, my Brother and me went golfing. My brother got a Hole-in-one on the 9th hole at the Balboa Public course in San Diego, CA. After the game, we went bar hopping in Ocean Beach.........didn't have to pay for a single drink.
So that was one good thing that man did for us.
I don't believe in heaven or hell and so I'm hoping he comes back as a Dung Beetle or something similar.
This was a person who drove finishing nails through my feet when I was about 4 years old, so I couldn't run away, while he pulled cavities outta my mouth with household pliers. There were other abuses but I only remember the " good " stuff. I despised that person. When he died, my Brother and me went golfing. My brother got a Hole-in-one on the 9th hole at the Balboa Public course in San Diego, CA. After the game, we went bar hopping in Ocean Beach.........didn't have to pay for a single drink.
So that was one good thing that man did for us.
I don't believe in heaven or hell and so I'm hoping he comes back as a Dung Beetle or something similar.
LunasChild8 said:I wonder what's worse: physical abuse or emotional/verbal abuse?
The very first spark of an answer to that question that came to me, dear Luna...
Is that over time with physical abuse, the effects from it start to become mental. And with mental/verbal abuse, over time, the ramifications of mental abuse undoubtedly start to manifest as physical.
So I don’t think there’s any way to separate the two. It all becomes your worst nightmare.
The very first spark of an answer to that question that came to me, dear Luna...
Is that over time with physical abuse, the effects from it start to become mental. And with mental/verbal abuse, over time, the ramifications of mental abuse undoubtedly start to manifest as physical.
So I don’t think there’s any way to separate the two. It all becomes your worst nightmare.
One evening in Oahu, (i think i was about 6 or 7 yrs old) my dad made a super steak and potatoes supper for all the family except me.
My supper considered to be a bowl of clippings from all family members. Looked like clippings saved up for many months.
I barfed up the first attempt only to hear my dad telling me that the clippings and now the vomit is my meal.
I told one of my closest friends this historical incident and after he threw up over a balcony we were chatting on, he told me to NEVER share my past with him again. I think this damaged our friendship and I regretted telling him but shit! Too late, right?
My dad had an emergency FAMILY MEETING once
and I sat on a stool in front of my family members
and my dad demanded to know if I was a homosexual.
His basis was because I was now 16 yrs old and had never brought a girl home to meet the family.
I told him I have met many and at the current time in love with someone and NO FUCKIN' WAY BRINGING ANYONE HERE BECAUSE THIS FUCKING FAMILY IS FUCKING PSYCHO.
You know, the weird shit is,
after that incident,
I came home early one afternoon and found my dad punching my younger brother in the face with a full closed fist in the hallway. I grabbed an aluminum bat and broke my dad's ribs. He screamed and ran to the phone to call a cab (i let him).
I never blamed my family members for participating in the abuses my dad had them help him in. I always figured they had their own survival reasons.
and I sat on a stool in front of my family members
and my dad demanded to know if I was a homosexual.
His basis was because I was now 16 yrs old and had never brought a girl home to meet the family.
I told him I have met many and at the current time in love with someone and NO FUCKIN' WAY BRINGING ANYONE HERE BECAUSE THIS FUCKING FAMILY IS FUCKING PSYCHO.
You know, the weird shit is,
after that incident,
I came home early one afternoon and found my dad punching my younger brother in the face with a full closed fist in the hallway. I grabbed an aluminum bat and broke my dad's ribs. He screamed and ran to the phone to call a cab (i let him).
I never blamed my family members for participating in the abuses my dad had them help him in. I always figured they had their own survival reasons.
Anonymous
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Anonymous
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I try not to waste tears for these memories.
Like, today, I am not succeeding.
Today,
my teeth are wearing away
my feet ache when it gets cold outside
my heart aches when i see how my family members
have that guilt in their eyes (hearts) when they remember something they participated in concerning an abuse related to me.
I try not to share this shit with anyone
as everyone has a shitty story to share.
I feel, though, it's of some value
to share (never compare)
for we fucked up are many and
even we need to be heard even if we are listeners from the past.
Like, today, I am not succeeding.
Today,
my teeth are wearing away
my feet ache when it gets cold outside
my heart aches when i see how my family members
have that guilt in their eyes (hearts) when they remember something they participated in concerning an abuse related to me.
I try not to share this shit with anyone
as everyone has a shitty story to share.
I feel, though, it's of some value
to share (never compare)
for we fucked up are many and
even we need to be heard even if we are listeners from the past.
Oh Tallen, you dear soul... what horrific memories to be burdened with, let alone to be memories that all happened to you.
I wish to pray for you, you seem like such a kind person, in need of something positive.
Here's what I can do right now. It's February 7th, so here's a devotion for today - to you, Tallen, and to anyone who sees this if they are passing through and perhaps will read it, too.
Blessings,
Kathy
