Why (Not) Me?

Wallyroo, Diddi, CalamityGin - thank you for your entries. Beautiful.

Ugly MF

I used to have fun most of the time.
But, there were days when so much shite would hit the fan that fun was abstract.
I mean you couldn't find fun anywhere.
We tried. Oh good God, did we try.
We'd get all jacked up on Guinness,
thinking how wonderful the world is,
extremely naive for sure.
It was not like the magazine ads.
Not even like the tellie commercials.
I'm talking the real world.
Does anybody here understand the concept of the real world?
Those people popping tops off the brown bottles were always surrounded by pretty girls & fast cars. Really.  WTF. I call bullshit on that number.
I used to think why not me.
I'm #1.
I should be in those pretty cool pictures.
But with two nasty pink scars on my mug, a crooked hooked nose & five teeth missing
along with my swollen rotten gums
I get it.
I'm okay with it practicing self love.

Why not me?

Why'd you open her texts?
With those nudes attached to them.
Why'd you entertain her pleas for a second chance?
When I was next to you in that seat.
Why'd you go and say her name?
The first time we had sex.

Why'd you talk about her all the time?
Yet you claimed you were done with head games.
Why was she always on your mind?
She took up more of your time.

Why'd you pay attention to the ones who wanted more than just a casual conversation?
Who sought to get you in their direction.
Who wanted the overwhelming satisfaction of ending us.

So why'd you let it happen?

Why (not) me?

I'd like to know why him over me why? I never hurt you
With him it was purely sexual, I gave you that plus way more
I paid the bills and fed us while you just laid on your back for him
You and me had a love for eternity, you had it all, if you wanted it that is!
You said I got you off like no other, the things we did together omg
Was that just an ego lie so I would not see? Most likely that's it!
Why not me I had your back from day one, I never hurt you I still couldn't
You still choose him over me, why not me, I'm stuck on understanding this

The dirty SMS messages that you two shared, omfg I've never seen dirtier
You said it was all just for fun, you would never hurt me, what a fool
I showed you parts of my heart, suppose I was not good enough for you
You married me not him, was I just the Ginny pig? For show
In the end to get rid of me, dirty photos of the the two of you, in deed
He left you not long after his girlfriend gave birth, put two and two together
Now you have no one, you could of had me I tried to fight for us
So the question is still there to be answered why not me? Why I just don't get it.

Buy the Cow

I've spent the last year or so of my life
Talking to guys around the world, all day
Long, every day. It's my biggest passion
In life, and I get paid nothing for it, and
Because I'm so attached to them, because
I adore them so much, I get nothing else
Done. I think they think I'm stupid. I'm not.
I'm extremely intelligent and educated.
Extremely smart. I just worship men.
Ever since I was a very young girl I was
Like, Hey, where's the dudes. I feel like I
Fully understand them. I love the way
Men think, their perceptions on life, their
Loyalty and ambition and devotion to
Their careers, their tendency to be more
Logical and rational than women.
I dote upon their every word, I ache to
Be their moms, to make their beds and
Do their laundry and make sure they
Finish their homework. I am too aware
That's my big problem, don't need
Someone to point that out, Eerrrkkkk
Goes the buzzer wrong answer
Next contestant please.
I love everything they
Do and everything they are and
Everything that comes from them.
Today I realized I've been
Single for nearly twenty years. I
Desperately want someone in my life.
Who cares about what I think and feel.
Who misses me and is as vulnerable to me
As I am to him. I don't necessarily need
A ring on it. Why not me? I've dedicated
My life to the study of males. I read
Everything I can on them. Psychologically,
Emotionally, their physiology. I talk to guys
From every age, walk of life, and ethnicity.
I think I know them. I've tried to bring them
Joy and happiness. I try to sell the cow
On the farm (just go with my analogy here)
By hiding its weaknesses and plugging
Its assets. Why won't a guy buy my cow?
I've gotten extreme compliments on this
Cow. She's a special cow, she has
Certain commended well known talents.
And that very loving and maternal cow will
Worship and love you like no other cow
On your farm. Especially if you have two
Legs and grow stubble in the morning. And
Don't worry, she's not a smothering cow,
She actually needs her alone time and
Independence. She won't spam your
Snapchat​. She can entertain herself just
Fine in the backyard. Just leave
A little food and water out.
So c'mon. Buy the cow.

Congrats to the winners and runners up, and thank you for a lot of really great quality entries. Thanks guys!

Congrats to Josh and Messier and to all those with intriguing entries. Miss_Sub, thank you for the honor, it was certainly a question that made me ponder on where I've been, where I am and where I want to be.