BEREAVEMENT

The main theme should be bereavement, and the emotional journey one takes during this. This work can be dripping with anger, spite, intense sorrow, melancholy, etc.

- No length requirement.

- Must be a fresh write.

- Two entries.

- Two weeks.

(replaced the original entry with this one)


Bereaved

It is not how I thought of you
at the moment of your admission,
which one might see as terrible
in the darkness you confide,
but as moonless in its secrecy

where my perfume cannot reach,
tumbling over black cataracts,
blood-flecked and rabid; guided,
albeit momentarily seduced,

to be lead behind eroding
bulwarks of atrocity,
climaxing into this matrix dome,
the head of a spear through a noose.

But am I not merely a bandit,
bereaved by calamity at the
pinnacle of my desire gone awry?

Or in reality, a sinister paradox
unwelcome, borne of my own
darkness, that begs you stay.

Darkness hit - light's went out
Tadpoles swam backwards
on dry land
in search of
Nonexistent water
puddles
barron-sand-deserted
no young grassy blades
lifted heads

Silence echoed
through
mental holes
groves of
of absence
in the sheer black
heartless
hole


I
now


live


in

-x-

images captured
etched
in the glass eye
of my mind
moments cherished
forever
gone
staring now
into the distance
as tears
stain the pane
running in rivers
blurring the scene
so many years
left here
without you
still hollow
in the space
where you belong

Fantastic entries thus far, and thank you for your inclusion.

Engraved Heart

Like a mighty hurricane
Your memories play about my brain
Bringing forth both happiness and pain

This is what follows
When pulled under by the sorrow
My mind,  your death trys to grasp
Breath quickens, to short little rasp
Heart beating at such a rate
It threatens to beat through my breastplate
Butterfly feelings, makes my stomach twirl
Like millions of delicate wings in a swirl
Sleep refuses to invade
All the memories with you I've made

Then the tears start to slide
Slow at first, like they're trying to hide
The shoulders that shake
Till my whole body quakes
Trying to keep the whimpering moans inside
But the wail breaks forth, with the pooling tears coincide

Every feeling for you is amplified
Every moment magnified
To your memory forever chained and enslaved
You left my heart engraved

In Memoria

I use your faded photograph
as my talisman heart
and it serves me well
save this wretched burn
from your hot kiss
where your feral tongues of fire leapt
into my open mouth of willingness'
and there were bred
the dogs of complacency
who howled your praises
and barked your madness
while you left them tied in chains
pawing at the ground of my bitterness

so i capture you
in still moments of your wicked grin
and notice by genuflect
the glimmer in your eye
that was
and still is
...the Calamity of Gin

As the Joy of Life hung in the salon
Frozen beneath thawing Moskva
Shush... kin's son dies

A muntjac flies via ginger tinged trees
White arsed across the cabbage field
As shots fire

Mothers smother the fathers further
A knuckle uncle taunts at aunts nice
Coy sins and nieces

And we pray to be forgiven for hurt given
And I say I'll write a letter
Yet forget to

Our regrets
Never kiss it better
Forget it carry on
As if no carry on had gone on
No wood smoke gun smoke fire
And they're gone

And the screams in my dream
Are a whimper at the wake

Empty Hole

The void where you used to fill
Me up is long gone. I am left
Crying endless tears that spill

Over one another and into the cleft
Where you forever abandoned me.
My tired heart needs lots of rest

And time to heal. Nobody can see
The pain I feel with every breath
I take. Let the weary and tired be

Left alone. I try to hide and sheath
The anger threatening to boil
Over. This loss, tragedy, and death

Hits hard in the chest. Let it all soil
And go to waste. I no longer care
If my feet feel heavy. Let things coil

Up tightly and be bare
To the touch. I do not feel your
Warmth and strength. I feel cold air,

Hallow and empty. I feel like a corpse,
Walking through life without your smile,
Laughter, and hand. I fall to the floor

In a heaping mess. After a while
Things are no longer the same.
I cannot walk or run another mile

Without you there. It is a flame
Dying out without your spark and
Spirit. Everything has become a shame.

Oh Daddy

She would not tell me where you were
I asked her over and over
for years, until I learned from the look in her
eyes, not to ask her anymore

As cute as a button, you called me your baby
I got your letters and telephone calls for a while
and then she stopped everything one day
Apparently, you said something about her that was vile

I was just a toddler, three years old
when she took me away from everything I had ever known
and I kept asking and never was told
where my daddy was.  I even asked her if I could call you on my toy phone

How could she do that knowing that I loved you so much
You bounced me on your knee, and I smiled every time you walked in the room.  
Those pictures mean more than words, but I miss your touch
I was forced to forget you too soon

I wonder if she had that look in her eye when I was very young
I remember being about eight when she told me to never ask about you again
It had to have been her choice, and it could not have been fun
But her decision took me to the depths of hell and led me to sin

You see, without you, I was always searching for something
in closets and hat boxes, in relationships and bars, and behind every door
I spent my childhood looking for you.  You were the something
that made me unique, only I did not know this until I became dirt poor

When I drank, I looked for you in every lover's eyes
I rebelled because of not knowing myself, because I did not know you
I prayed for you in all of my silent cries
I did not fit in, I had no daddy, and that made me blue

Most of my life, I have been unable to hold in my rage
I have felt like half a person.  When I was sixteen, it was too late
I had planned on visiting you when I turned of age
But before I came to you, you passed on to heaven’s gate

Without you, fear has led the way
I never did know how to relate to any man
I have learned many things the hard way
And I have thought of you every day

I am an old lady now, but I still wonder what you were like and how
we got separated.  There have been times that I thought that you were watching me from afar
A guardian angel, you have kept me alive for many years now
Oh daddy, I can’t wait until we meet.

The things left behind
Long after ashes have been lost to the wind

Doll parts and trinkets
Tucked into spaces she never found

Bound to her chair
In both life and spirit

I feel her presence standing by
When I sit in it

Letters and brooches
Stuffed, haphazard into an assortment of drawers

Antiques one and all
One fine piece topped with creamy, pale marble

Paintings on each wall
And a box, well stocked, with watercolour pencils and oils

Army uniforms
That were Bompapa's, I imagine her cross legged

On the floorboards
By the closet, rifling through them with need

Searching frantically
For any leftover scent, almost greedily

And two wild cats
One looks a bit like her

Stooped over, uneven
As though she'll fall out of her chair

And the jasmine comb
She had pinned to her hair on that last day

Is tucked away
A memento mori to keep me on dark days

This is the last time I will look at it

Jealous heaven


jealous angels in the sky
ripped me  my chance of goodbye
now i sit all alone
in this place we used to call home

20 years , memories gone by
i wasted time , i let it fly
on the radio , i hear our song
wishing my time , it won't be long

wishing you were here , wiping tears away
i light candles every day
but i still get nothing from up above
jealous heaven shows no love

Not Quite Bereaved

The last words
hurt more than the first
but I must learn to accept
hello and goodbye
as equal expressions of love
from my dead mother's lips

I should say dying
because she is not dead
Her physicality remains
to be washed dressed and fed
though dementia has claimed
the final semblance of mind
that made her who she was

She asks repeatedly
What time is it
who will be coming today
and where is the stick
resting gently against her knee

I want to take it
and beat the disease into pulp
but instead
we walk slowly to the window
where she stares
lovingly down the drive
for a glimpse of her only child

A BLOTTING
 
I
 
These are the eyes of an eclipse, when
jewels has heavily weigh`d & skin is worn
by slow coiling cold; but the shadow of
the heart has concerns of its own
substances
 
through regions of blight`d time where
fate float in search for solar light & sighs
for a mellowing gain to flow into the central
deeps of a `haunting, dark, holy place
 
II
 
that has pour`d in `fragile pencil'd naked
forms`with paint`d vessels of striving
hopes when life’s flame has been blown
by fleeting comets that mingles & tangle
the threads of Inner subtlety
 
oddly.. leaving room for melodious cadavers
to `quench the bitterness of non-conforming
drips created between lips & hips flavor’d
with frost,  
 
III
 
As Lamentations` & memories lingers on,
with such an etrancing humbl'd tongue,
smitten by spilled blood - praying it leads to
that guiding presage of peace and a sound
mind,

Sometimes.. I..
I need silence to shut the fuck up just a little
more.. .so that I may muse.. .for a healing
moment .. a little while longer is all I need