To have loved and lost

suck_my_nipples said:I find this poem in the net and though this poem is posted to many sites with different poet's name; I find it just the perfect one for this competition and to express my very own exact feelings...I loved once, lost that, tried to commit suicide, failed in that and now passes my days with sleeping pills coz whenever I'm awake the memory haunts like hell! Just unbearable... So I want to share this poem taken from the internet and not sure about the poet but it expresses my exact feelings and suits the


*Probably it's written By ~ Dane Yule.* I posted it as it suits the competition theme and expresses my feelings from first word to last word.


Thanks for sharing and giving credit to the author, but be advised that this is not valid as a comp entry, as comps are for your own original work.

Clippings

I knew I’d fallen in love with you
for whenever I thought of you
I could feel it in my stomach
my body burning
to be touched by you

A vee of black birds shutters the sky.
I’ve run out of synonyms for the word ache.
How to describe the pain, for one must describe it,
lessen it of its power. A knife-kissed rippling,
trail of fire scorching the weave of my soul...
How can one be so empty, so carved and hollow
like a shadow box, by the lack of intertwining
arms and legs, the sinuous lullaby of flesh
on flesh?

I will wait for the children to leave
before I start to cry
so they will not think this is love

I remember being nine years old
early-sexed
sprawled in the bath tub
pretending I was Emmanuelle
a pedophile’s dream

why this hurtles back to me I don’t know
except that even then I was plagued by this

I am going with the exhaustion theory
thinking if I hurt enough it will reach its limit
burst like a balloon then quietly dissipate
even though this hypothesis has been
repeatedly debunked in the laboratory of my life

sometimes the nights grow studded
with friends and acquaintances
a necklace of distractions
but like Kurt Cobain said
when the party’s over you have to go home

I could phone you
but my fortune cookie mentioned battles and wars
slip of paper my weekly bread
and I’ve lost too many battles
to win the war

you see
one only has a single chance
at saying something right

Moment

This is the moment without you,
sitting outside the bookstore,
wearing sunglasses so others will
not see my eyes, their sadness,
exhaustion.
Only little birds fascinate,
how they bob so lightly,
soundlessly across cement, soft
balls of sharp instinct and hunger.
The blue of the sky is still vivid
despite darkened lenses, the only
hue that does not relinquish
its vitality. Then back to
the bright white, again to the blue,
and perhaps there is some dull firing
of synapses due to the mere physiology
of color, each sudden sweeping shift
of tint and tincture, and this
is what keeps my mind flickering.
This is the moment without you.
I cannot hope for anything more.

¡!¡My dearest love...¡!¡
"thy love..." I feel you everywhere I walk. How can I express to thee how I feel? Dosth Love me so? I would ask myself with a slight giggle. ¡!¡My dearest love...¡!¡ Oh how i miss you so. I have no words to speak about thou. Thee has taken me and stole my heart from my chest. ¡!¡My dearest love...¡!¡ your kind words sweeten thy lips of mine. I love thee very much hearing your serenade of words flow out of thy mouth makes me shudder and melt into thy hands of mystery...¡!¡my dearest love...¡!¡ ~Evangaline💔

I surely had fell for
A Lilith.
But in a form of
Human.
She was my first love.
My first kiss, My first touch Fondly, curiously, passionately.
Mentally & Physically.


I loved her like a blind lover.
All I knew was her name,
As one true devotee feels the presence of his God
In his soul.
She played along with my heart.
For years.
With care, love and nursing.
All was pretended and
I play a hypnotized puppet's role.


Her vile nature slowly
Started coming out with it's
Originality.
Still I trusted her.
Thought, Hoped and Prayed
That all will end blissfully.
I thought our marriage
Can save our relationship Ultimately.


But Her time of enchanted beauty was about to end.
And her witchhood had to take place.
By tearing my heart apart,
Shattering my soul
She put me in the infernal bowl.


I tried to destroy this
Earthly body of mine.
Just on the name of love,
For a dirty Swine!
She seeped in my life's energy
That was her private mission.
She won and I lost,
When I got back my clear vision.


She pierced my heart
With her mind full of dirt.
Now when she left me
As her mission was Accomplished;
And I lay alone
Still thinking about her
Still loving her.
And cry for the relationship
Which never was actually
Established.

He's walking away again
I'm losing shards of myself
"I love you"
It doesn't matter
We've given up on everything
He's leaving
I'm shattered
Torn inside

hoping for what was
what is,
and what will never be

I tried to keep him
Tried to hold him safe
Suffocated
Unknowingly

He's leaving this time
leaving me broken and scarred
I can't take it back
So i sit here

hoping for what was,
what is,
and what never will be

Ask her to stay.

That’s what he said.
They all said.
Everyone.

She left.

Because I would not,
Ask her to stay.

See,
It’s like this.

I wanted her here,
With me,
Forever.

I told her that,
Repeatedly.

I loved her,
Always will,
Forever.

I told her that,
Every
Day.

I needed her,
Still do,
Not sure,
I can live without her.

I told her that,
Face to face,
In writing,
Even,
In song.

But ask her to stay?

No,
Couldn’t do it.

It is the same as,
Expecting her,
To ask,
To stay.

Our being together,
Was voluntary,
For both of us.

That we made,
That commitment,
Individually,
Independently,
In our souls,
Was the glue,
That held us together.

If I ask,
Then the power,
Holding us together is from me,
And requires little of her.

Just as her,
Asking to stay,
Would center,
Our binding,
Within her.

The strongest relationships,
Are mutually bound.

I wanted her to stay,
Because she wanted to stay,
Not because I ask,
Begged,
Pleaded,
Cried,
Whined,
Whimpered.

It is as simple as that.

And,
Today,
I remain,
A fool,
And
Alone.

Da bakk 4tee izuh lonelee playce

Eye found itt onnda ground.
Uh brokin hart
lyke myne.
Eye pikkt itt upp
und eye luvd itt.
Butt itt dyddint luv mee bakk.
Sew eye dropt itt
bank onda ground
und kikkt itt lykeuh
emptea kann
downduh trakks.
Eye'm inna frakshurd stayte.
Uh pawn.

Love gone grey


we loved so hard
burning up ourselves
with our desire

we loved like a bonfire
crisping our hearts
blood pumping together

we burnt ourselves to crisps
ashes down together mixed
blown by the wind floating

then we were stranger
nothing was similar
except for our hunger

that too faded
and nothing remained
but the stained sheets

one day you went away
I walked out of your heart
and never found each other ever

today I saw you at the grocery store
no twinge within nothing stirred
you didn't recognise me.

blurry

i counted to ten before i opened my eyes
did you want me to fight with you?
did you want me to lash out,
name all the reasons i thought you should stay?
but i don’t do that
i’m not good with making the right words
form on my lips
so i started counting again
before i began speaking…

it has not slipped my attention,
your absence in my everyday
the slow withdrawal of contact
until we slept on opposite sides of the bed
never touching
and then your accidental falling asleep on the couch
every night

i love you
there, i said it

but i will not beg you to stay
i’m a prideful bitch and
if you want to stay, you will
regardless of what comes spewing
from my mouth

i could go on, at length, about how we fit
i could write you a love poem
that would make your solid heart weep
i could move my body against yours to prove
chemistry

but i won’t

i will count to ten before i open my eyes
if you’re still here
then i’ll know

one
two
three
four
five
six
seven

in my nervous energy i took a peak
and watched his dark form go blurry
as he walked away from
me

eight
nine
ten

I torture myself with thoughts of you  
With longing for you I'm afflicted  
I'm cutting myself with the shards of my past  
Somehow I've become masochistic  
Wondering if one day you'll learn to accept me  
Maybe it's too unrealistic  
But my heart writhes and twists  
For the sting of your kiss  
Necrotic and sweetly sadistic  
How I cry out for you in the depths of my soul  
As my joy is reduced to a cinder  
See how I mourn  
So sad and forlorn  
How I begged you to please  reconsider  
No one will love you the way that I do  
No one is out there but liars  
I gave u my heart  
It was yours from the start  
You know you're my only desire  
What can I do to make you mine  
How can I make you see  
That I can be the one for you  
That's all I want to be  
Im tragically in love with you  
So bad that im losing my mind  
I will never be satisfied with anyone else  
To everyone else I am blind