Poetry competition CLOSED 17th November 2014 4:18pm
WINNER
case28 (Alexander Case)
case28 (Alexander Case)
RUNNER-UP:
Grace
Wear your head hunter proudly
Anonymous
Poetry Contest Description
Be a spambot and push it !
If you've been on the net for even a short time, you most likely have encountered forum spam comprised of advertisement snippets, news tidbits and a mash of unrelated topics. The result often reads as nonsense jabber, although sometimes poetic.
Example:
Every day and no shampoo ever actually help with volume until death I have been (insert website here) using my mentioned who’s my entire like never done anything but the phrenology my attention conditioner actually make a difference Aim not lying to you I actually have mine and my hair for the first time pretty much mind higher like so I am very thankful for urology you issues they're hailing black I would definitely recommend spend money in trying urology on my shall okay that make any way be very I really hope you enjoy this video at only every single why I mentioned will be with sad dam allow directly next to where you can buy every specific product and course discount coupon code happy life I will effect on.
For more info:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Forum_spam#Types_of_forum_spam
The Challenge:
Write your own crazy spam (poem or prose). Please be original in your garble. Don't plagiarize existing examples which are circulating the net!
If you include a website, make it a fictional (nonexisting) one.
Max of 300 words
New works.
The weirder the better.
One entry per poet.
Apricot Candy
Mirror she says the edifying effect with cotton candy and dandelions you will scrap the looks with Apricot seascape and dreams on the face of gold.
Burnt bronze with erotic smell of exotic destinations in skin pale for sun under umbrella. Like sunset dream of night in shining skin protect. He same will feel love for linger long touch.
www.e-beautyfieldbutterfly.com
very like by ladies all smile sweet kisses like butterfly no fooling they.
Mirror she says the edifying effect with cotton candy and dandelions you will scrap the looks with Apricot seascape and dreams on the face of gold.
Burnt bronze with erotic smell of exotic destinations in skin pale for sun under umbrella. Like sunset dream of night in shining skin protect. He same will feel love for linger long touch.
www.e-beautyfieldbutterfly.com
very like by ladies all smile sweet kisses like butterfly no fooling they.
Anonymous
Excellent, Grace. Like a Lollipop Lullaby played backwards. Thanks for opening. 
Anonymous
*********
Girls, do you want to attract more men ?
All you need is a pheromone pen
If you wish for more kisses
Smear your lips with the pens riches
To get more intimate attention
Smear it where I cannot mention.
Beware ; for it has a powerful effect
His actions may well become unchecked
Buy now from www.cumhitherpens.cum
You will find all men succumb,
Hurry now for demand is brisk,
But you buy at your own risk
All you need is a pheromone pen
If you wish for more kisses
Smear your lips with the pens riches
To get more intimate attention
Smear it where I cannot mention.
Beware ; for it has a powerful effect
His actions may well become unchecked
Buy now from www.cumhitherpens.cum
You will find all men succumb,
Hurry now for demand is brisk,
But you buy at your own risk
Anonymous
Very nice rhyme and clever idea, Gardenlover. Thanks for playing. :)
Anonymous
The fly could not make flight to the dumpster, so the garbage truck has come to the fly.
Look here for your trash or treasure in this fine spam sample which was dumped in our forums this morning:
On school this are so tow truck few drugs of pox total film where which can lead to exercise career have the ability to do it it’s your mines pose the same thing like this list obviously you stop this we stop everything we do in this first workout translates to Prima Cleanse Plus how you handle one this workout this is the crucible that forms you care itself what do you do left tell me what did you do what did you do for the last hour work or to come but if you go on so wasn't me good symbols remember stuff about the fiscal challenges small that the mental aspect most people would say in the year two hundred fifty pounds that’s nuts or is it so it's only get sick you don't think you can do it no to anything you could be that the phosphors want tube the hospital goes one be stage route exposed on those up start walking a seal the muscles in his shoulders in his arms training is just try not to let it drop unbroken get better at it a little he wouldn’t.
Look here for your trash or treasure in this fine spam sample which was dumped in our forums this morning:
On school this are so tow truck few drugs of pox total film where which can lead to exercise career have the ability to do it it’s your mines pose the same thing like this list obviously you stop this we stop everything we do in this first workout translates to Prima Cleanse Plus how you handle one this workout this is the crucible that forms you care itself what do you do left tell me what did you do what did you do for the last hour work or to come but if you go on so wasn't me good symbols remember stuff about the fiscal challenges small that the mental aspect most people would say in the year two hundred fifty pounds that’s nuts or is it so it's only get sick you don't think you can do it no to anything you could be that the phosphors want tube the hospital goes one be stage route exposed on those up start walking a seal the muscles in his shoulders in his arms training is just try not to let it drop unbroken get better at it a little he wouldn’t.
Anonymous
http://humanechoes.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/05/hrgiger11-500x323.jpg
Gigerbot sings Grieg
(sung to tune of Grieg’s “Morning Mood” )
Sunlight is slack
Bright red adirondack
Braces spine of stiffening black,
Twisted, tentacled rack
Orangle globe
Dangles from frontal lobe
Garble-tangled mussels of steel
Push electrical eel
"What shall we play?
Softball? Hardball? Don't say.
I'll still overcram you with spam
Watch my Bedlam sex cam
Click nails on fly
Crawling over bulged eye
Of my screaming sea monkey head
And your fetish be fed
Show me your cash and I’ll steal it
Lie on my tongue. Can you feel it?
Ten inch hard pinch
Can be yours in a clinch
Hook to my wires
I’ll reprogram desires
Turn the volume up to the max
Claim full shockwave climax
Don’t miss a beat
Tweak blue, mechanized teat
Hurry! Soon this offer expires
I’m bursting with fires
To crash lap and deep plow
SO ACT NOW!!!”
(It's tough when your only morning inspiration is the spambot.)
Everybody SING:
"Kiss my UGG boots, son.
All in one
Be undone!"
Now hit the delete button
TIRED
I’m tired
I’m so tired,
I’m so, so tired,
I’m so tired that I am tired of being so tired
In fact I am sick and tired,
I am tired of being sick,
I am sick of being tired,
I am really tired of being sick and tired
I am dog tired,
I’m tired of my dog
I am dog tired of being tired of my dog
Even my dog is tired
I am tired of talking about being tired
I am tired of talking about feeling tired
I am feeling tired about talking about feeling tired
If the truth be known I am sick and tired about feeling dog tired and fed up talking about being so dog sick and tired and being so-so sick and tired about feeling so tired
Damn this insomnia
Take Nightoll a herbal remedy for a restful nights sleep (no script necessary)
I’m tired
I’m so tired,
I’m so, so tired,
I’m so tired that I am tired of being so tired
In fact I am sick and tired,
I am tired of being sick,
I am sick of being tired,
I am really tired of being sick and tired
I am dog tired,
I’m tired of my dog
I am dog tired of being tired of my dog
Even my dog is tired
I am tired of talking about being tired
I am tired of talking about feeling tired
I am feeling tired about talking about feeling tired
If the truth be known I am sick and tired about feeling dog tired and fed up talking about being so dog sick and tired and being so-so sick and tired about feeling so tired
Damn this insomnia
Take Nightoll a herbal remedy for a restful nights sleep (no script necessary)
Excuse me ladies have u ever
Felt not so fresh.
U know like down there
Have you ever peeled off your
Pantys in a hasty rush just
To notice your guy heading for the hills
Because of the smell of rotten cheese
Well worry no more have i got a deal for you
My do it yourself dush kit will change your life
For the low low low price of $29.99
Any guy will want to dine on your lower bits
But wate there is more if u order now rite now
I will throw in a blueberry belly button ring air freshiner
For free thats rite freeeeeeee but we cant do this all
All day so call now be the first 500 customers to call in and i
Will thwor in 2 pair of my pattented bubblegum scented
Pantys if this dosent throw off the hounds nothing
Will so ladies call call call it will change your life
Than number is 1800-stink-boxbegone
Felt not so fresh.
U know like down there
Have you ever peeled off your
Pantys in a hasty rush just
To notice your guy heading for the hills
Because of the smell of rotten cheese
Well worry no more have i got a deal for you
My do it yourself dush kit will change your life
For the low low low price of $29.99
Any guy will want to dine on your lower bits
But wate there is more if u order now rite now
I will throw in a blueberry belly button ring air freshiner
For free thats rite freeeeeeee but we cant do this all
All day so call now be the first 500 customers to call in and i
Will thwor in 2 pair of my pattented bubblegum scented
Pantys if this dosent throw off the hounds nothing
Will so ladies call call call it will change your life
Than number is 1800-stink-boxbegone
Anonymous
David, could you add warnings of side effects on that Nightoll? I am always tired myself and need to know what kind of crazy dreams it would cause. 
WV, you do have excellent spelling skills for those ads.
Thanks both for the laughs.
WV, you do have excellent spelling skills for those ads.
Thanks both for the laughs.
Anonymous
we've had quite a few spammers in the forums the past few days.
Don't know why they are hitting just about every forum but the comps.
Wouldn't it be a flip to have a real bothead throw an entry here? lol.
Mumble For the Bumblebots
(made with real spam bones)
Haze and Smoke It.
AKA The Great War No Click
in the end we talk about I'm genital a bit,
dedicated in love with this Soot in his life. He’s smudge.
Fulfilling ill be fulfilled in Lewds eyes but that least his for filling
pain fares
youknow shot rare
but some people believe he could havedone it here
moving dropped out yapping shot here
oh wow I've never heard back us Amir
Don't know why they are hitting just about every forum but the comps.
Wouldn't it be a flip to have a real bothead throw an entry here? lol.
Mumble For the Bumblebots
(made with real spam bones)
Haze and Smoke It.
AKA The Great War No Click
in the end we talk about I'm genital a bit,
dedicated in love with this Soot in his life. He’s smudge.
Fulfilling ill be fulfilled in Lewds eyes but that least his for filling
pain fares
youknow shot rare
but some people believe he could havedone it here
moving dropped out yapping shot here
oh wow I've never heard back us Amir
Potential Side effects: Nightoll
1. May cause drowsiness do not operate heavy machinery or attempt to put in earrings
2. May cause your mirrors to warp making you look unnaturally ugly
3. May cause uncontrollable flatulence especially if you are in an elevator
4. May cause flashbacks of experiences you have never had
5. May cause hallucinations which may be invalid if you actually do own a pink unicorn and a Do-do called Pickles
6. Never take more than the stated doze as it may lead to insomnia
7. Keep away from children! (nothing to do with this drug, just a suggestion for life in general – they are all annoying little shits!)
Always read the label – if you can’t read – then good luck we’ll see you in three weeks
1. May cause drowsiness do not operate heavy machinery or attempt to put in earrings
2. May cause your mirrors to warp making you look unnaturally ugly
3. May cause uncontrollable flatulence especially if you are in an elevator
4. May cause flashbacks of experiences you have never had
5. May cause hallucinations which may be invalid if you actually do own a pink unicorn and a Do-do called Pickles
6. Never take more than the stated doze as it may lead to insomnia
7. Keep away from children! (nothing to do with this drug, just a suggestion for life in general – they are all annoying little shits!)
Always read the label – if you can’t read – then good luck we’ll see you in three weeks
Anonymous
LMAO---especially at number 7!
