Poetry competition CLOSED 14th September 2011 3:30am
WINNER
beautiful_accident
beautiful_accident
RUNNER-UP:
violet
Idea??
Poetry Contest Description
Write a poem, it must be a new poem and not very long. Everyone can judge it by giving each poem stars as ratings. The one with the most stars wins.
every one wants to be critiqued? Everyone wants there poems read?
So here's an idea of mine, no one has to do it but I'll just throw it out there anyways. Write a poem, it must be a new poem
Not very long. and everyone can judge it by giving each poem stars as ratings
The one with the most stars wins :).
Star rateing goes as follows
One star= it's just blah
Two stars= it's ok needs some work
Three stars= pretty good grammar issues a few unnecessary words but good
Four stars= really good
Five stars= excellent don't change a thing
So here's an idea of mine, no one has to do it but I'll just throw it out there anyways. Write a poem, it must be a new poem
Not very long. and everyone can judge it by giving each poem stars as ratings
The one with the most stars wins :).
Star rateing goes as follows
One star= it's just blah
Two stars= it's ok needs some work
Three stars= pretty good grammar issues a few unnecessary words but good
Four stars= really good
Five stars= excellent don't change a thing
Medicine
........
Can't tell if it's morning or evening, the light looks the same
Feels like glass is grating in the cracks of my eyes
Think i slept for too long, my mouth is almost dusty.
I stretch, pull back the covers, climb out of bed
And wobble toward the kitchen cupboards,
Trying to avoid the random things on the floor.
My eyes sift through stacks of substances
That previously inhabited my intestines.
Malt Vinegar, Tomato Puree, Cinnamon, Hot chocolate
But no coffee. God damn, I need it.
I walk gingerly out of my house, my mind snaps into
A state of half-function because of the cold air,
Almost a cutting cold, but not quite.
The crisp mist clings to my face,
Sheets and sheets of it, cut perfectly,
Fill my dry mouth and my lungs.
All i can think about is being back in my home,
Away from this ankle-biting ice on the pavements
And how i will spend a rediculous amount of time
Choosing a mug, Probably the one that's made for soup
Just because it's big.
Nearly at the shop, I inhale slowly, absorbing the feeling
Of the sharp chill in my chest. My mouth is like sand-paper now.
This hot, French roast will be like medicine when i eventually get it.
Out of nowhere, a thought (or realization) slaps me
In the back of my head with almost the same force
As my mother did when she caught me cursing..
Every time i make a coffee, i spill it,
Why do i always look away when i stir?
........
Can't tell if it's morning or evening, the light looks the same
Feels like glass is grating in the cracks of my eyes
Think i slept for too long, my mouth is almost dusty.
I stretch, pull back the covers, climb out of bed
And wobble toward the kitchen cupboards,
Trying to avoid the random things on the floor.
My eyes sift through stacks of substances
That previously inhabited my intestines.
Malt Vinegar, Tomato Puree, Cinnamon, Hot chocolate
But no coffee. God damn, I need it.
I walk gingerly out of my house, my mind snaps into
A state of half-function because of the cold air,
Almost a cutting cold, but not quite.
The crisp mist clings to my face,
Sheets and sheets of it, cut perfectly,
Fill my dry mouth and my lungs.
All i can think about is being back in my home,
Away from this ankle-biting ice on the pavements
And how i will spend a rediculous amount of time
Choosing a mug, Probably the one that's made for soup
Just because it's big.
Nearly at the shop, I inhale slowly, absorbing the feeling
Of the sharp chill in my chest. My mouth is like sand-paper now.
This hot, French roast will be like medicine when i eventually get it.
Out of nowhere, a thought (or realization) slaps me
In the back of my head with almost the same force
As my mother did when she caught me cursing..
Every time i make a coffee, i spill it,
Why do i always look away when i stir?
4 stars (awesomeness) 
quote]violet said:
Medicine
........
Can't tell if it's morning or evening, the light looks the same
Feels like glass is grating in the cracks of my eyes
Think i slept for too long, my mouth is almost dusty.
I stretch, pull back the covers, climb out of bed
And wobble toward the kitchen cupboards,
Trying to avoid the random things on the floor.
My eyes sift through stacks of substances
That previously inhabited my intestines.
Malt Vinegar, Tomato Puree, Cinnamon, Hot chocolate
But no coffee. God damn, I need it.
I walk gingerly out of my house, my mind snaps into
A state of half-function because of the cold air,
Almost a cutting cold, but not quite.
The crisp mist clings to my face,
Sheets and sheets of it, cut perfectly,
Fill my dry mouth and my lungs.
All i can think about is being back in my home,
Away from this ankle-biting ice on the pavements
And how i will spend a rediculous amount of time
Choosing a mug, Probably the one that's made for soup
Just because it's big.
Nearly at the shop, I inhale slowly, absorbing the feeling
Of the sharp chill in my chest. My mouth is like sand-paper now.
This hot, French roast will be like medicine when i eventually get it.
Out of nowhere, a thought (or realization) slaps me
In the back of my head with almost the same force
As my mother did when she caught me cursing..
Every time i make a coffee, i spill it,
Why do i always look away when i stir? [/quote]
quote]violet said:
Medicine
........
Can't tell if it's morning or evening, the light looks the same
Feels like glass is grating in the cracks of my eyes
Think i slept for too long, my mouth is almost dusty.
I stretch, pull back the covers, climb out of bed
And wobble toward the kitchen cupboards,
Trying to avoid the random things on the floor.
My eyes sift through stacks of substances
That previously inhabited my intestines.
Malt Vinegar, Tomato Puree, Cinnamon, Hot chocolate
But no coffee. God damn, I need it.
I walk gingerly out of my house, my mind snaps into
A state of half-function because of the cold air,
Almost a cutting cold, but not quite.
The crisp mist clings to my face,
Sheets and sheets of it, cut perfectly,
Fill my dry mouth and my lungs.
All i can think about is being back in my home,
Away from this ankle-biting ice on the pavements
And how i will spend a rediculous amount of time
Choosing a mug, Probably the one that's made for soup
Just because it's big.
Nearly at the shop, I inhale slowly, absorbing the feeling
Of the sharp chill in my chest. My mouth is like sand-paper now.
This hot, French roast will be like medicine when i eventually get it.
Out of nowhere, a thought (or realization) slaps me
In the back of my head with almost the same force
As my mother did when she caught me cursing..
Every time i make a coffee, i spill it,
Why do i always look away when i stir? [/quote]
Come to think of it, if I submit a poem here, I'd prefer something other than stars! How about asteroids or comets??? If it's good enough, can I get 4 Comets instead??? (Stars are too hot. And which stars did you give the others' anyway?)
Anonymous
[font=Verdana]This is new in that I just this second published it. Does it still count?
***
Patricide
Of course there is love. When I pictured you dead
it was too much to bare, the bravado in dreams
where I slaughtered you, patricidal maniac
avenging petty slights, reduced to a guilt
that I could think thus. In the afternoon light,
walking back from a PE class,
a bully told me he'd kill you. He wanted to make me cry.
I was stunned I almost did. I loathe your masculinity.
Your stupid pompous manliness, how it manifests itself
in almost everything you do. Red whirlwind of ignorance.
You are my wire mother, brandishing the milk bottle
I rely on to survive. I blame you for not providing me cloth,
a parent to cuddle and sing lullabies. But then there is love.
For all the times in childhood the sandman brought me
knives and guns to slay you with while night crept on,
I am not a violent man, and you were not as bad as some.
***
Patricide
Of course there is love. When I pictured you dead
it was too much to bare, the bravado in dreams
where I slaughtered you, patricidal maniac
avenging petty slights, reduced to a guilt
that I could think thus. In the afternoon light,
walking back from a PE class,
a bully told me he'd kill you. He wanted to make me cry.
I was stunned I almost did. I loathe your masculinity.
Your stupid pompous manliness, how it manifests itself
in almost everything you do. Red whirlwind of ignorance.
You are my wire mother, brandishing the milk bottle
I rely on to survive. I blame you for not providing me cloth,
a parent to cuddle and sing lullabies. But then there is love.
For all the times in childhood the sandman brought me
knives and guns to slay you with while night crept on,
I am not a violent man, and you were not as bad as some.
[quote]darkshine said:
Come to think of it, if I submit a poem here, I'd prefer something other than stars! How about asteroids or comets??? If it's good enough, can I get 4 Comets instead??? (Stars are too hot. And which stars did you give the others' anyway?)
Comets, stars, blue, black whatever
It wasn't for me to be the only judge
Personally I don't have the time.. So be it
Come to think of it, if I submit a poem here, I'd prefer something other than stars! How about asteroids or comets??? If it's good enough, can I get 4 Comets instead??? (Stars are too hot. And which stars did you give the others' anyway?)
Comets, stars, blue, black whatever
It wasn't for me to be the only judge
Personally I don't have the time.. So be it
4 stars from me..
[quote]Jack Heslop said:
[font=Verdana]This is new in that I just this second published it. Does it still count?
***
Patricide
Of course there is love. When I pictured you dead
it was too much to bare, the bravado in dreams
where I slaughtered you, patricidal maniac
avenging petty slights, reduced to a guilt
that I could think thus. In the afternoon light,
walking back from a PE class,
a bully told me he'd kill you. He wanted to make me cry.
I was stunned I almost did. I loathe your masculinity.
Your stupid pompous manliness, how it manifests itself
in almost everything you do. Red whirlwind of ignorance.
You are my wire mother, brandishing the milk bottle
I rely on to survive. I blame you for not providing me cloth,
a parent to cuddle and sing lullabies. But then there is love.
For all the times in childhood the sandman brought me
knives and guns to slay you with while night crept on,
I am not a violent man, and you were not as bad as some.
[quote]Jack Heslop said:
[font=Verdana]This is new in that I just this second published it. Does it still count?
***
Patricide
Of course there is love. When I pictured you dead
it was too much to bare, the bravado in dreams
where I slaughtered you, patricidal maniac
avenging petty slights, reduced to a guilt
that I could think thus. In the afternoon light,
walking back from a PE class,
a bully told me he'd kill you. He wanted to make me cry.
I was stunned I almost did. I loathe your masculinity.
Your stupid pompous manliness, how it manifests itself
in almost everything you do. Red whirlwind of ignorance.
You are my wire mother, brandishing the milk bottle
I rely on to survive. I blame you for not providing me cloth,
a parent to cuddle and sing lullabies. But then there is love.
For all the times in childhood the sandman brought me
knives and guns to slay you with while night crept on,
I am not a violent man, and you were not as bad as some.
Gigi1978 said:
[quote][quoted=competitions--714-0-7]darkshine said:
Come to think of it, if I submit a poem here, I'd prefer something other than stars! How about asteroids or comets??? If it's good enough, can I get 4 Comets instead??? (Stars are too hot. And which stars did you give the others' anyway?)
Comets, stars, blue, black whatever
It wasn't for me to be the only judge
Personally I don't have the time.. So be it
Woe! Didn't mean to upset you. Guess it wasn't the right time to be playful.
Anyway, you being the only judge is what kind of confused me about this thread because I'd noticed that you gave everyone the option of rating the poems, and no one has, but you. I wish there was a way to put a poll here next to each submitted poem so that people could rate the poems anonymously. I'm thinking that more people would be more inclined to rate others poems more honestly that way. Like even though my poems have been read, aside from the few comments that have been made about them, other than the compliments, I have no idea of what the majority think??? So as I was saying before, this thread is a good idea, but it just brings us back to the many reasons' people don't comment about other peoples poems.
[quote][quoted=competitions--714-0-7]darkshine said:
Come to think of it, if I submit a poem here, I'd prefer something other than stars! How about asteroids or comets??? If it's good enough, can I get 4 Comets instead??? (Stars are too hot. And which stars did you give the others' anyway?)
Comets, stars, blue, black whatever
It wasn't for me to be the only judge
Personally I don't have the time.. So be it
Woe! Didn't mean to upset you. Guess it wasn't the right time to be playful.
Anyway, you being the only judge is what kind of confused me about this thread because I'd noticed that you gave everyone the option of rating the poems, and no one has, but you. I wish there was a way to put a poll here next to each submitted poem so that people could rate the poems anonymously. I'm thinking that more people would be more inclined to rate others poems more honestly that way. Like even though my poems have been read, aside from the few comments that have been made about them, other than the compliments, I have no idea of what the majority think??? So as I was saying before, this thread is a good idea, but it just brings us back to the many reasons' people don't comment about other peoples poems.
Anonymous
Here is mine! Yeah! Say it sucks, so I can go and cry! "laughs!" JK Please be honest!
Eat Dirt!
Rest in peace my love
I hope the worms are having fun
Eating away at you
Like you ate away at me
When they're done
I hope there is still enough
Dirt left for you to eat...
Rest in pieces my love
There are maggots inside your stomach
What a great last meal to have, right?
Take a fistful and give me a serving
Its better to eat together than alone, right?
Let us both lay here and get our fill...
Rest in peace my love
I hope the insects feast upon your heart
Devouring it whole
Like you did to mine
When they're done
I hope you still have some room left
For more dirt to eat...
Eat Dirt!
Rest in peace my love
I hope the worms are having fun
Eating away at you
Like you ate away at me
When they're done
I hope there is still enough
Dirt left for you to eat...
Rest in pieces my love
There are maggots inside your stomach
What a great last meal to have, right?
Take a fistful and give me a serving
Its better to eat together than alone, right?
Let us both lay here and get our fill...
Rest in peace my love
I hope the insects feast upon your heart
Devouring it whole
Like you did to mine
When they're done
I hope you still have some room left
For more dirt to eat...
My Ole Sweet Friend
Brianna had a smile that would light a room
Yet her soul was dark, depressed, and full of gloom
Zaftig was her physical description, but possessed a
heart of gold
Unfortunately, the wrong persons came into her life and
caused it to unfold
She had everything you could want; a beautiful home, cars
in the driveway
Money in the bank; yet there was something missing for
her; giving her heart away
Unfortunately her self-esteem was destroyed for so many
years; she wanted anyone
She chose the wrong one again who raked her over the
coals; her heart had come undone
After so many years of rejection and attracting vultures
to her life
She took her life a few weeks ago and now she will never
be a wife
Why as women we pick ourselves apart to be perfect for
men
Regardless of what you do for them you will never win
My heart has and will hurt for you ole friend unlike I
thought it would
I am so happy I told you the last we spoke how I adore
you and even love you
Little did I know that would be the last time I was able
to
With that said I have no regrets other than you left here
too soon
I have cried from sun up to the night of the moon
One thing is for sure; your heart will never have to hurt ever again
Never forget how much I love you my ole sweet friend
Brianna had a smile that would light a room
Yet her soul was dark, depressed, and full of gloom
Zaftig was her physical description, but possessed a
heart of gold
Unfortunately, the wrong persons came into her life and
caused it to unfold
She had everything you could want; a beautiful home, cars
in the driveway
Money in the bank; yet there was something missing for
her; giving her heart away
Unfortunately her self-esteem was destroyed for so many
years; she wanted anyone
She chose the wrong one again who raked her over the
coals; her heart had come undone
After so many years of rejection and attracting vultures
to her life
She took her life a few weeks ago and now she will never
be a wife
Why as women we pick ourselves apart to be perfect for
men
Regardless of what you do for them you will never win
My heart has and will hurt for you ole friend unlike I
thought it would
I am so happy I told you the last we spoke how I adore
you and even love you
Little did I know that would be the last time I was able
to
With that said I have no regrets other than you left here
too soon
I have cried from sun up to the night of the moon
One thing is for sure; your heart will never have to hurt ever again
Never forget how much I love you my ole sweet friend
I'm sorry sometimes I come across as cocky but Most of the time I'm just rushing, I just meant like so be it as in no one else is putting input.. No offense to you
quote]darkshine said:
[quoted=competitions--714-0-9]Gigi1978 said:
[quote][quoted=competitions--714-0-7]darkshine said:
Come to think of it, if I submit a poem here, I'd prefer something other than stars! How about asteroids or comets??? If it's good enough, can I get 4 Comets instead??? (Stars are too hot. And which stars did you give the others' anyway?)
Comets, stars, blue, black whatever
It wasn't for me to be the only judge
Personally I don't have the time.. So be it
Woe! Didn't mean to upset you. Guess it wasn't the right time to be playful. Anyway, you being the only judge is what kind of confused me about this thread because I'd noticed that you gave everyone the option of rating the poems, and no one has, but you. I wish there was a way to put a poll here next to each submitted poem so that people could rate the poems anonymously. I'm thinking that more people would be more inclined to rate others poems more honestly that way. Like even though my poems have been read, aside from the few comments that have been made about them, other than the compliments, I have no idea of what the majority think??? So as I was saying before, this thread is a good idea, but it just brings us back to the many reasons' people don't comment about other peoples poems.[/quote]
quote]darkshine said:
[quoted=competitions--714-0-9]Gigi1978 said:
[quote][quoted=competitions--714-0-7]darkshine said:
Come to think of it, if I submit a poem here, I'd prefer something other than stars! How about asteroids or comets??? If it's good enough, can I get 4 Comets instead??? (Stars are too hot. And which stars did you give the others' anyway?)
Comets, stars, blue, black whatever
It wasn't for me to be the only judge
Personally I don't have the time.. So be it
Woe! Didn't mean to upset you. Guess it wasn't the right time to be playful.
Anyway, you being the only judge is what kind of confused me about this thread because I'd noticed that you gave everyone the option of rating the poems, and no one has, but you. I wish there was a way to put a poll here next to each submitted poem so that people could rate the poems anonymously. I'm thinking that more people would be more inclined to rate others poems more honestly that way. Like even though my poems have been read, aside from the few comments that have been made about them, other than the compliments, I have no idea of what the majority think??? So as I was saying before, this thread is a good idea, but it just brings us back to the many reasons' people don't comment about other peoples poems.[/quote]
