Poetry competition CLOSED 3rd July 2013 9:11am
WINNER
AscensionES (Aptilneilrionaltion)
AscensionES (Aptilneilrionaltion)
G'day DU you bloody Rippa
Anonymous
oy a'll bash ye fookin head in i sweah on ma mum
Anonymous
My Dag
Having some amber fluid
typical arvo
with my pal, a banana bender
but a bloody good bloke, despite that
no bludger, not him
a true mate to have in a blue
he's a bottler, not a bully
and there's nobody I'd rather
watch the bush telly with
always have a corker of a time
yeah, I love that dag of mine
Having some amber fluid
typical arvo
with my pal, a banana bender
but a bloody good bloke, despite that
no bludger, not him
a true mate to have in a blue
he's a bottler, not a bully
and there's nobody I'd rather
watch the bush telly with
always have a corker of a time
yeah, I love that dag of mine
Strider said:[quote-209596-Carpe_Noctem][quote-209325-_m_L_]oy a'll bash ye fookin head in i sweah on ma mum
What is this District 9 ? We say FUCK over ere mate [/quote]
Noctem...District 9 is a place where extraterrestrials ate forced to live in the slums...[/quote]
Yea I know being an alien and all
What is this District 9 ? We say FUCK over ere mate [/quote]
Noctem...District 9 is a place where extraterrestrials ate forced to live in the slums...[/quote]
Yea I know being an alien and all
My Shout
I was a stunned mullet in the pub
among my new Aussie friends
Vic, it's your shout...
to which I obliged,
shouting at the top of my lungs...
Shut ya gob,
the crowd roared back at me,
You are a galah!
Out of the woop-woop
came a dinky-di blonde Aussie
Holy-dooly, what a hot sheila
I want to have a naughty with yah
Before I knew it,
I got a goog
and was called a rat bag
Sorry mate, I had no idea
that bloody hot blonde
is your fucking wife!
I was a stunned mullet in the pub
among my new Aussie friends
Vic, it's your shout...
to which I obliged,
shouting at the top of my lungs...
Shut ya gob,
the crowd roared back at me,
You are a galah!
Out of the woop-woop
came a dinky-di blonde Aussie
Holy-dooly, what a hot sheila
I want to have a naughty with yah
Before I knew it,
I got a goog
and was called a rat bag
Sorry mate, I had no idea
that bloody hot blonde
is your fucking wife!
Anonymous
Carpe_Noctem said:[quote-209614-Strider][quote-209596-Carpe_Noctem][quote-209325-_m_L_]oy a'll bash ye fookin head in i sweah on ma mum
What is this District 9 ? We say FUCK over ere mate [/quote]
Noctem...District 9 is a place where extraterrestrials ate forced to live in the slums...[/quote]
Yea I know being an alien and all[/quote]
YA FOOKIN PRAWN
What is this District 9 ? We say FUCK over ere mate [/quote]
Noctem...District 9 is a place where extraterrestrials ate forced to live in the slums...[/quote]
Yea I know being an alien and all
[/quote] YA FOOKIN PRAWN
Anonymous
“Jackaroo Kin”
http://www.pangaea-expeditions.com/images/OBCmorocco/maroc65.jpg
Crikey,
I thought we were
the only blokes that had ‘em,
those dills run up and down the strand,
sportin’ their Ferals,
covered with fly wire,
tinny’s on top,
hanging their freckles
out of
the windows,
acting like frogs in socks,
Technicolor yawners.
These outback jackaroos
get snuffed on coldies,
just like our
own rednecks do,
must be kin.
http://www.pangaea-expeditions.com/images/OBCmorocco/maroc65.jpg
Crikey,
I thought we were
the only blokes that had ‘em,
those dills run up and down the strand,
sportin’ their Ferals,
covered with fly wire,
tinny’s on top,
hanging their freckles
out of
the windows,
acting like frogs in socks,
Technicolor yawners.
These outback jackaroos
get snuffed on coldies,
just like our
own rednecks do,
must be kin.
Woke up hung over seedy as fuck, so peckish I could eat the arse out of low flying duck.
All that's here is a half eaten kebab, I ralphed the first half back out all over the cab.
Now to call up work and throw a sickie maybe throw a leg over the missus and try for a quickie.
C'mon love, then how bout a rub?
Oh well worth a try, fuck it I'm going back down the pub.
Gonna back it up and get back on the piss, there's new skimpies starting who I don't want to miss.
Hopefully I'll get to see some tits, cause you can bet your nuts on the ball n chain having the shits.
Time to go, fuck time flew... Does anyone know where I parked me kangaroo.
All that's here is a half eaten kebab, I ralphed the first half back out all over the cab.
Now to call up work and throw a sickie maybe throw a leg over the missus and try for a quickie.
C'mon love, then how bout a rub?
Oh well worth a try, fuck it I'm going back down the pub.
Gonna back it up and get back on the piss, there's new skimpies starting who I don't want to miss.
Hopefully I'll get to see some tits, cause you can bet your nuts on the ball n chain having the shits.
Time to go, fuck time flew... Does anyone know where I parked me kangaroo.
Strider said:[quote-209596-Carpe_Noctem][quote-209325-_m_L_]oy a'll bash ye fookin head in i sweah on ma mum
What is this District 9 ? We say FUCK over ere mate [/quote]
Noctem...District 9 is a place where extraterrestrials are forced to live in the slums...[/quote]
When I saw district 9, the first thing that came to mind was The Hunger Games. xD
What is this District 9 ? We say FUCK over ere mate [/quote]
Noctem...District 9 is a place where extraterrestrials are forced to live in the slums...[/quote]
When I saw district 9, the first thing that came to mind was The Hunger Games. xD
"G'day Mates and Shelias..went on walkabout running into into this bloke who was yabbering to em self...on and on about losing his last tallie in a bet. Then he began swinging and Spewin' steakybeak at yours truly. I knew this mate was Quid, not the full! Then he pulled out his old fella laughing like a no-hopper! I laughed and said no-worries mate! Gutful of piss mates I see as I trotted off from this Dag..."
AscensionES said:Carpe, ya cunt.
Can't afford a bottle'o grog.. Centrelink's been fuckin' me 'round, bloody oath. bet your yobbo arse I'm pissed.
Get ya fat arse off the couch and get me to the bottle'o. Gotta nighta heada me.. Gunna fuck me thorough for work.. Christ sake
ah.. Good on ya mate, toohey's the go, none'a that cheap piss. Champion.
Spoken like a true Aussie, how long you been here mate?
Well done guys some good lingo there, make Aussies out of you yet.
Can't afford a bottle'o grog.. Centrelink's been fuckin' me 'round, bloody oath. bet your yobbo arse I'm pissed.
Get ya fat arse off the couch and get me to the bottle'o. Gotta nighta heada me.. Gunna fuck me thorough for work.. Christ sake
ah.. Good on ya mate, toohey's the go, none'a that cheap piss. Champion.
Spoken like a true Aussie, how long you been here mate?
Well done guys some good lingo there, make Aussies out of you yet.
Actually born in Australia Carpe.. Israeli-Australian, which would explain the Israeli flag being symbolic. I've had family in the IDF after all. But Australia comes first mate 
And got paid today too, they upped my dole, drinks on me. ;)
And got paid today too, they upped my dole, drinks on me. ;)
