Poetry competition CLOSED 12th March 2013 9:18am
WINNER
ImperfectedStone (The Gardener)
ImperfectedStone (The Gardener)
Page:
The golden rule.
Poetry Contest Description
Creative criticism at its best.
Here are the rules. You must write a poem mocking, humiliating or otherwise debasing either the author who posted before you or the poem that they posted before you. Whoever starts it off has to show some humility or feel free to begin by slinging the ugly truth upon me seeing as i did hatch this beast. but never fear for there is no limit on entries so you may take revenge if you choose. Be as brutal as you desire, They can take it just as you can if you choose to participate. Have fun.
Yes I went and I saw the pretensious fucking poets
Standing up on that stage
Like they mattered.
And every last drunken bum like me that sat supping ale and necking shorts
Just scum
Beneath their towering words.
They spouted self-denial grief in deluded self-belief we actually gave a fuck,
What fucks were they.
Still,
They thought their words mattered, hoping our lives would grow
From the seeds of wisdom
They were there to sow.
And so,
So fucking what!
Like the bar itself wasn't enough,
Stacked as it was with pumps and measures,
Bottles and glass:
And no fucking class.
Yet it was still the best act of the night.
I looked on steaming drunk and out of luck
And rat arsed in a swamp of Guinness and vodka and redbull and grass.
I sat and I laughed, and I held them aloft,
Until my sad rat arsed ass fell off.
They spoke of form:
I know nothing of form,
Yet I was on form that night
Standing up on that stage
Like they mattered.
And every last drunken bum like me that sat supping ale and necking shorts
Just scum
Beneath their towering words.
They spouted self-denial grief in deluded self-belief we actually gave a fuck,
What fucks were they.
Still,
They thought their words mattered, hoping our lives would grow
From the seeds of wisdom
They were there to sow.
And so,
So fucking what!
Like the bar itself wasn't enough,
Stacked as it was with pumps and measures,
Bottles and glass:
And no fucking class.
Yet it was still the best act of the night.
I looked on steaming drunk and out of luck
And rat arsed in a swamp of Guinness and vodka and redbull and grass.
I sat and I laughed, and I held them aloft,
Until my sad rat arsed ass fell off.
They spoke of form:
I know nothing of form,
Yet I was on form that night
Honest Critique (Hostile Waters)
Your writing is weak
and your conviction
even weaker.
You're a writer, are you?
Then what the fuck
did I just read?
A mesh of words.
Boring, bland.
And without direction.
Nothing to hold it
together.
No structure, no skill.
Without personification.
No metaphors, either!
Go ahead and 'write'
With your piss weak rhymes.
I've seen
better 'originality'
from a brick.
You claim you want
honest critique.
Don't break down in front of me.
When I bring the hammer down.
Struck to anvil
and left in the water
to simmer.
I attribute the same method
to your words.
And you cannot take it.
When you sit back down
after calling out the teacher.
Always remember
that your writing
isn't for the honest critiquers.
You're too weak for this.
So, before you submit another 'masterpiece',
safeguard your shit.
And disable the comments
because it's too far gone
for a change
to feedback for the friendly.
You're in hostile waters,
and I'm not fuckin' friendly.
Your writing is weak
and your conviction
even weaker.
You're a writer, are you?
Then what the fuck
did I just read?
A mesh of words.
Boring, bland.
And without direction.
Nothing to hold it
together.
No structure, no skill.
Without personification.
No metaphors, either!
Go ahead and 'write'
With your piss weak rhymes.
I've seen
better 'originality'
from a brick.
You claim you want
honest critique.
Don't break down in front of me.
When I bring the hammer down.
Struck to anvil
and left in the water
to simmer.
I attribute the same method
to your words.
And you cannot take it.
When you sit back down
after calling out the teacher.
Always remember
that your writing
isn't for the honest critiquers.
You're too weak for this.
So, before you submit another 'masterpiece',
safeguard your shit.
And disable the comments
because it's too far gone
for a change
to feedback for the friendly.
You're in hostile waters,
and I'm not fuckin' friendly.
So Long
Get to the point,
We haven't all night
To go back and forth,
Like squabbling twins,
Madness won't work,
Yet metaphors will compare,
Our work together,
It doesn't matter now,
If you know,
Quit being hostile,
Or pass me by the mile,
To beat me,and my rhymes,
Next time.
Get to the point,
We haven't all night
To go back and forth,
Like squabbling twins,
Madness won't work,
Yet metaphors will compare,
Our work together,
It doesn't matter now,
If you know,
Quit being hostile,
Or pass me by the mile,
To beat me,and my rhymes,
Next time.
Long Poems
Cmon now, girl
Don't you think that was a bit harsh?
Yes, it was long
But some poems are good when they're long
Pretty even
Because you can use your words
To describe the sweet smell of cherry blossoms
Or the foul taste in your mouth
When an old fat guy
Rips one
So go ahead and criticize someone for a long poem
I like long poems
Cmon now, girl
Don't you think that was a bit harsh?
Yes, it was long
But some poems are good when they're long
Pretty even
Because you can use your words
To describe the sweet smell of cherry blossoms
Or the foul taste in your mouth
When an old fat guy
Rips one
So go ahead and criticize someone for a long poem
I like long poems
Hatred
Everyone looks and sees words,
I see a life,
A story,
When you say "long poem"
Everyone has a "long poem"
A poem about life,
Pain and might,
You might think that I know,
But I don't,
Try as you might,
You'll never know,
The full version,
Of my poem,
Try as you might,
Sometimes it's better,
Not to describe things,
Not pain nor hurt.
Everyone looks and sees words,
I see a life,
A story,
When you say "long poem"
Everyone has a "long poem"
A poem about life,
Pain and might,
You might think that I know,
But I don't,
Try as you might,
You'll never know,
The full version,
Of my poem,
Try as you might,
Sometimes it's better,
Not to describe things,
Not pain nor hurt.
Possibly
Possibly, you're correct
But what words can accurately describe those things?
Exactly
Don't get too cocky
Or you might slip up
Pain
An indescribable word, really
You have to experience it
On all levels
Mental
Physical
Emotional
Before you can truly understand what it is
So please, save the ache in your fingers
For someone else
Because you're not a worthy opponent against me.
Possibly, you're correct
But what words can accurately describe those things?
Exactly
Don't get too cocky
Or you might slip up
Pain
An indescribable word, really
You have to experience it
On all levels
Mental
Physical
Emotional
Before you can truly understand what it is
So please, save the ache in your fingers
For someone else
Because you're not a worthy opponent against me.
Worthiness
Not many are worthy,
But few are quietly,
Watching from afar,
When we argue,
Back and forth,
Fingers flying,
Racing to type,
The best entree.
Doesn't matter,
Who wins,
Yet winning is better,
Then losing,
And I'm going to Fight
Not many are worthy,
But few are quietly,
Watching from afar,
When we argue,
Back and forth,
Fingers flying,
Racing to type,
The best entree.
Doesn't matter,
Who wins,
Yet winning is better,
Then losing,
And I'm going to Fight
Dude.
Dude, you people feed into the rule and he, the puppet master,
watches gratefully.
Let not the spite damage your soul.
Ignorant, stubborn?
I think that's both of you.
To conclude I'm above this but I only got below this for the marks
and I like to spark a little trouble between friends.
It sends a message to the masses
about who I am
and about the sham of small time competitions
in this delicious little town we call DUP.
I'm not saying you all aren't worthy,
I'm just saying you're not as good. See, Kitty, doesn't even have a face...What's a writer without a face? Are you a human or a cat?
And on that note, Amy, is a grim reaper? How cliché for this easy sleeper.
I'm already snoring on my keys so I think it's time to flee before these ladies get their weapons out
but don't doubt that I love the reaction,
I get a little satisfaction
and if it causes their distraction so I win,
well, that's okay by me.
Dude, you people feed into the rule and he, the puppet master,
watches gratefully.
Let not the spite damage your soul.
Ignorant, stubborn?
I think that's both of you.
To conclude I'm above this but I only got below this for the marks
and I like to spark a little trouble between friends.
It sends a message to the masses
about who I am
and about the sham of small time competitions
in this delicious little town we call DUP.
I'm not saying you all aren't worthy,
I'm just saying you're not as good. See, Kitty, doesn't even have a face...What's a writer without a face? Are you a human or a cat?
And on that note, Amy, is a grim reaper? How cliché for this easy sleeper.
I'm already snoring on my keys so I think it's time to flee before these ladies get their weapons out
but don't doubt that I love the reaction,
I get a little satisfaction
and if it causes their distraction so I win,
well, that's okay by me.
Razor Blades
Fuck you and your ignorant bliss
Who the hell am I loosing to miss?
Move aside kitty the rottweiler is here
At dawn to make a few things clear
With a razor and a blade I'll cut up
This whole atmosphere and make you
Face the facts that you're weaker than
Dire that was the weakest shit I ever read
And that's being said by a muthafucker
Who writes weak shit by his bed but I'm
Better than you and that's just fact
Accept defeat your poetry reeks
Waiting for round two if you dare
But before you do you better fucken
Be prepared I'm slicing even if you stare.
Fuck you and your ignorant bliss
Who the hell am I loosing to miss?
Move aside kitty the rottweiler is here
At dawn to make a few things clear
With a razor and a blade I'll cut up
This whole atmosphere and make you
Face the facts that you're weaker than
Dire that was the weakest shit I ever read
And that's being said by a muthafucker
Who writes weak shit by his bed but I'm
Better than you and that's just fact
Accept defeat your poetry reeks
Waiting for round two if you dare
But before you do you better fucken
Be prepared I'm slicing even if you stare.
The Grimmest
What the hell is a poppy bank,
A perfect stone to your dome
You're my puppet so jump
Into this bed and let me show
You how to behave like a slave
And who the fuck are you calling unworthy
When your ass can't hold a candle to the craze,
feed me grapes by the fireplace.
You ain't above shit I'm the real grim reaper
And even though you sound delicious I still can't
Keep y'all, I gotta throw you to the side and let
The street sweeper pickup his leftover pieces.
This is way too easy, just give me the trophy
For winning this great competition. Peace.
What the hell is a poppy bank,
A perfect stone to your dome
You're my puppet so jump
Into this bed and let me show
You how to behave like a slave
And who the fuck are you calling unworthy
When your ass can't hold a candle to the craze,
feed me grapes by the fireplace.
You ain't above shit I'm the real grim reaper
And even though you sound delicious I still can't
Keep y'all, I gotta throw you to the side and let
The street sweeper pickup his leftover pieces.
This is way too easy, just give me the trophy
For winning this great competition. Peace.
