Drug Addiction

COSMIC CONVERSATION

Through the window you stare
I hear your faint voice
Whispering from somewhere

Camouflage of broken dreams
Canvas lies on the floor
Colors evaporate once more

Swimming seaweeds in your veins
As the angel drops his dust
Draw a map in your arms

Towards the skyline
Thieves like us
Follow the blind

Once upon a shot
You found the only way out
As you sleep in a rosary bed

My eyes seek your surface
Hands clutching tight
The other side of mourning

Out goes the light
Smack eating vultures
Eating at your flesh

Where are you now
Beloved companion
Are you where you
Wish to be?

Ill answer now
Your final note
Read through me now
This is what I wrote

I am
Of you
You
Are
Of me
(we)

This poison aint enough

To take the world far away.

We just keep losing touch

With the Life we could have some day.

Forsake our time and all that we're given

Just to find peace of mind.

Tell me now, is this Life that we're livin,

Or is that what we left behind?

We are losing ourselves in a moment,

We are falling so far, cant you see?

If we dont see this problem and own it

Then soon it is all we will be.

 

We never love ourselves,

We're lost in constant disarray.

We thought that that would help

But we're just drifting farther away.

Why dont we ever see

We're the only ones hurting us now?

Killing ourselves slowly

And yet, we survive somehow.

Why cant we just reach out

And find a warm, Loving embrace?

Cause that's what life's about,

Yet, on to the end we still race.

We are losing ourselves in a feeling,

One that, surely, will end tragicly.

A feeling of everything healing

Then tumbling down hopelessly.

 

There's still so much ahead

We cant lead ourselves astray.

Cause soon, so it is said,

We will pay for our wicked ways.

What’s good bro!
It’s been a minute now
It’s good to see ya!
I’ve missed your growl
I knew you wouldn’t stop
We need each other now
I’ve missed that fire
I’ve missed your prowl
Oh yeah while I’ve got ya
I need a round
Just another card
Boy, you beamin’ wow
That’s nice
That’s right
We’re friends forever?
You’ll love me right?
No tears for you
No rainy days
Just turn me on
To get away

Im high...
Ooowooh! You've got the best of me!
Im high...
True rotten pool of estrogen
Im high...
Gloat because I'm the sshhit and know-it
Im high...
Ripples 'n' current of the sea of lust potent
Im high...
Now down feels up
Im high...
Why not refill my cup.?!
Im high...
Take another hit
Im high...
I think imma be sick
Im high...
I feel im stuck on this cloud
Im high...
It feels good, but now I wanna come down
Im high...
Omg! imma die like this
Im high...
Omg im still high this feels endless
Im hhhigh...
Fuxk it im sixk now
Im sick..
I just want to be sober now
Im sick..
I was bound to get high somehow
Im sick..
I just want it to be over now
Im sssick..
I think this is my end, I cant last
Im fading.
Aah! Here comes rest 'n' peace at last.

Addy's Iniquity

Dear Diary;  
I used to write you poetry  
About love, and the loss of  
Now all I have is indecency  
shame and vulgarity  
Please guide me and  
give me some clarity  
The last thing I want  
is your pity or charity---  
   
and then there she was;  
I met her on the streets  
I followed her to the A-Train  
and obediently took a seat  
   
Addy you're all I need  
to ignore the photo in my locket  
You're always there for me  
leaving sunshine in my pockets  
   
Each line that seems to stop time  
Aching for that ethereal foil  
Breathless anticipation grips my spine  
and surges to life like a Tesla Coil  
   
It steers my ascension  
from this vorpal rabbit hole  
Sin, sex, salvation, motivation  
No other goal, but to roam and roll  
   
Good secrets never last  
and it's starting to show  
Personal devils play xylophone melodies  
on my fragile rib bones  
   
All he sees now is emotionless emaciation  
All I feel now is hate for my own creation

Last Wish

I was baptized in bong water-
my last wish; grind my ashes with THC
inhale, what toxin is left of me
take a trip on my body dust
don't cry too much that steely heart will rust
I don't believe in pearly gates
just know; we'll always have cyberspace

Mom

I'll just take one hit Mom, that's all I'll need
Smoke fills my lungs, the taste of speed.
Energy is rushing through my veins
Leaving me to question if I'll ever be the same
Say goodbye to things I knew
I'll try my hardest to be like you.

And for the first time Mom, since I don't know when
I feel that I should try again.
this feeling  is safe, nothing could hurt me here
not even daddy and his 40 of beer.

The food looks good, but my stomach will fight
Mom, why don't I have an appetite?
My eyes are black, they once were blue
looks like the speed is shining through.
even the little things make me so mad
so I smoke more speed, it's the best I've had.

Why can't you save me Mom, what do they want from me
they won’t let go, I can't be free.
Everyone is after me, I can feel their eyes
watching me, I can't believe their lies
I know what they're doing, it's all a trick
My paranoia is spinning making me sick.

No matter how much I drink, my mouth stays dry,
I don't even have the tears to cry
I put a hand upon my chest
there's no way I'm going to rest.
to calm me down, they feed me rum
the rest of my body feels so numb.
Am I alive or am I dead?
Mom can you feel the pounding in my head?

My heart is racing, so is my breath
my lungs must be trying to keep my from death.
Is it hot in here or is it me
Mom you feel it too, you must agree
Do I have a fever, could you tell by my sweat
they pass it to me, it’s a game of roulette
The hall it sways from side to side
my eyes taking me on a blurry ride.
.
I'm getting worse Mom, these movement aren't mine
I feel the twitches and tremors grow from my spine.
I tried everything, I just want to sleep
I counted and shout 3,428 sheep.

My skin is so dry, I itch all around
I roll on the floor and scratch on the ground.
Sores pop up over the skin I can see
they burn Mom, what is happening to me?

I have to fight, I am not dead
are you real Mom, or just another voice trapped inside my head?
I can't take it anymore, I'm pulling out my hair
I scratch at my neck, gasping for air.
I bang my head against the wall
get the images out, kill them all.
I can't tell what is real and what's a dream
My voice is shot, I can not scream.

Mom I just wanted to be like you
But I wish I hadn’t, if only I knew
I couldn't take the voices, I couldn't take the lies
I couldn't take everyones watchful eyes.
I wasn't sleeping, wasn't eating
everything was laced with poison, they were all cheating.
Very slowly I was wasting away
there was nothing to do, No reason to stay.
I lay forgotten, turning to rust
and blow far away alone with the dust.

Off my tits

My jaw aching from
constant grinding teeth.

Nose dripping like a
broken tap.

One more empty whiskey bottle
i will always be its whore.

Dads ghost haunting me yet
again,have you not learned
from my death son?


Not this time,i pluck
his ghost from the air
quickly lace him in
tobacco filled rizla.

I smoke that fool.

Black Rose of Despair (it's about an addiction)






How sad this heart of mine is  
In my mind I'm fighting mad  
My body a shell of rotting decay, smells of dying flesh  
Soul as dark black as this rose I hold  
 
Memories of you start to unfold such a hold you had on my body
Over and over like a broken record  
Voices in my head, faint whispers "your ugly and worthless"  
"All you are is a big fat mess"  
Why oh why can I never be free  
Eyes kept closed I don't want to see anymore  
This unparalled feeling of no self worth  
Hiding in shadows alone and distraught  
Body weak and weary it's tired of the war  
It's fought with it's self for so long  
I fall to the floor in my despair  
Only to crawl to the toilet bowl then my bed time to rest  
My bleak head  
As I lay here on my pillow  
Eyes wonder the room  
I relize never will I be free  
From this lone, wanting feeling  
But as always all doors yield in time  

"Snow Job"
http://deepundergroundpoetry.com/images/uploads/poemimages/77973.jpg
I ripped it with a razor,
it came down hard,
numbed my lips.
I stared out the window
at nobody there.
All I could see was
my ugly reflection
in the cracked mirror,
covered with powder
from way down south,
my mouth was twisted.
I wanted to shout,
but no words came out,
I was snowed in.

"early registry"


been plotting    
a bit lately    
with the poltergeists of past;    
self-diagnosis    
and its medicine    
   
it's not memory    
or nostalgia    
 
no  
 
   the rogue electricians    
   have rewired    
   the roadways    
     
it's an alternate list of necessity    
as decreed by auto-shrink    
   
   1. breathe    
   2. oil the escape hatch    
   
   
   3. everything else    
   
(regret is for tomorrows couch,    
and tomorrow has been banished from the list)    
   
   
   
these are not the ignoring type    
of banshee    
   
these are the shrieks of shadows  
that you sew your mouth shut  
   
or  
   
sing along to




***not a new write, but written recently***

"Valhalla 500"



any heaven worth knowing    
is accessed through blood    
   
the road to devotion    
tolled by tellers, who never see a pale face    
unless to pluck their barbed flowers,    
has more curves than straight-aways    
   
but, the planes when ridden    
iron out the kinks in fabric    
to single threads    
each with a dish of warm milk    
each straightened out enough    
to vanish    
   
everyday appears again    
   
bones ache from want    
blood yells outside the window    
of unrequited love    
   
a car is stolen to reacquaint    
with the road    
the motors fuel    
registered  
and plunged into release    
   
the carburetors open    
the paradise of throttle
forgets of the scars
from barbed flowers    
   
the road to devotion    
is paved in punctured skin    
   
the only heaven worth knowing    
is accessed through blood




***again, not a new write, but fairly recent***

[left]Addicts Riddle[/left]I sit here staring at you

as if i know you best.

Taunting you with misconceptions

that never let you rest.

I am your constant companion

an invasion of your privacy.

I disgust your better judgement

and still you sell yourself to me.

You rationalize and bargain with me

while you forget to feel.

You make me your business partner

and mask any emotion once real.

You lost your grip on the reigns

while we were fooling around.

Your cyclical behavior

forever has you bound.

"Soothing the Lingering"
http://deepundergroundpoetry.com/images/uploads/poemimages/65066.jpg
For good reason, I'm a drunk monkey these days.
She was my secret pill, the ultimate high,
I got afflicted with her spell, we were
joined at the hip, but, now it's a living hell.
I feel a bit sick, really ill,
as my bottle ran out, she left me,
never said good-bye, or even why.
Her memory still lingers.
I'm going to wallow in the mire,
and, drink some more swill,
to kill this for good.