Things that make your skin crawl

Nail Biting Things

There are those things that make us crazy
turn us back from being lazy,
make us stand up on our chairs
cut ourselves and pull our hairs.
If I really had to list
all those things that make me pissed
I 've got a list a long, long mile
but when I think of them I smile
compared to those that inner whack
and give an awful panic attack:

lack of sleep
too much coffee
not being listened to
being disrespected
having to stress over
    being misunderstood
owing money
getting divorced
failing a test
facing failure
being picked on
seeing a bully
forgetting a name
being hungry
being held emotionally hostage
being yelled at
being abandoned
being pushed aside
having to repeat myself
    only to be whatevered
having to sit though anything
    only endured to impress others
seeing children talked down to
seeing others take advantage
watching others take for granted
and a list of 10 more things
that you can add I know.

runningturtle87

Please write a poem over those things that make you anxious or panic or frustrated, no limit and no form requirement.

AGORAPHOBIA

Agoraphobia has been a part of my life

No explanation, just another phobia

From a list of phobias a mile long

First I was afraid of everything

The entire hostile world

Had persecuted my parents

Taught not to trust

Then it started to break down

Into categorical fears

School phobia

My teacher was verbally abusive

In those days, parents had no clout


Next came a fear of travelling

Vacations had no allure for me

Worse, followed by panic attacks

Out of the blue

I thought I was crazy

My mother thought I was hysterical

Nice little girls do not behave like this

Explaining this to a doctor was impossible

Told me I had nothing to fear

Had my IQ examined, it was quite high

So I was clear, overactive imagination

No compassion from anybody


For one year I trembled all night long

Wanted to kill myself, emotions so strong

Finally found a doctor who helped a bit

Lots and lots of vitamins seemed to do the trick

The fears came and went

No explanation except

Living with my parents was pure heck

Their very survival while the innocents died

Made them live in mourning

No roller coaster rides

No fun at all, never permitted

“Life is all about suffering”

My father admitted


By eighteen I had a hard time

Just getting on a bus was difficult

Only reason for pushing myself

Was to get out of the house

Vacations with my parents

Were hell, and one day

I just left…but the panic

Was with me the whole way home


One doctor gave me Librium

It did not do anything

I was still curled up in a fetal ball

Waiting for all hell to break loose

I have now had phobias all my life

I have found anything can trigger it

As I am always stressed out


Why you make ask

Well, you see, I have persistent anxiety

There is nothing I have not worried about

It is obsessive compulsive worrying circles

Tried diet, exercise, meditation

Refractory to all

Finally I found everything was stressful

Have to stay away from it all

So here I am, an agoraphobic hermit

Who was saved for a while by Paxil and Effexor

Then they pooped out and my turtle head

Had to go back into its comfortable shelter.

Thank for sharing, Kitty, in a world of triggered moments overwrought with stressors..these are the stuff of anxiety.

When his touch is all I long for,
And I only find it rough and raw,
The way I bend to please it,
Makes my skin begin to crawl.

When I only need some borrowed time,
To think alone and SLEEP,
His voice is there to prickle me,
And fish me from the deep.

When I only need a little faith,
From some one else but him,
And my family just turns away,
Worshipping my sins.

When he tells me I'm no good for him,
He'll find somebody new.
How his voice drips with honey,
"Nobody will ever want you."

How I run in ragged circles,
To scared to jump and face the fall,
How I'm not so strong without him,
Makes my skin crawl.

Monster .    
   

   
     
You.    
You shiver    
my mind;    
quiver      
my intellect,    
and    
tremor my      
imagination.    
     
And you do it -    
you, do it      
so well.    
     
With-just-one-word...    
   
     
“ R a p e ”    
   
     
.    
     
     



I do hope we may post old writes, this was written and published on DU on 11th January 2012.

"What's to Change?"


When I switch the lights off I'm laying
on a desolate beach. No disgruntled gulls
cawing their compassion for the land-struck crows.


Everybody wants to change the world
but they're not willing to change themselves.
We are all branded by life's differences
floating through the holes that fit
avoiding, but affected by the ones that don't.

We should revel in this mess we're in
take off our shoes and dance past sunset
burning with smiles 'til we flake away
or pale in the shade of a life with wires
that control your every function 'cause you,
you think you're making a difference.
Maybe you are on some scale

We care, most of us. Too much; too little,
about starving kids whose hunger's controlled
by not just their string-pullers, but ours too.

If you want to change the world
take a gun, bomb or pen and still die;
change yourself and how your eyes
interpret what you can't understand.

Maybe I'm lazy, passive or lost in this soup
or maybe it's hard enough to care and help
the poor bones at my own hand
so I'm happy to take what's appropriate
and available to thrive as best as I can
in my world, and be concerned
but never let it affect me; my world.
I know I can't make a difference
I can't change the world or be its righteous judge.


I sit with the door open while writing this
because the humidity is cooking my apathy
and I know the open door's letting the melt in
but I like the sound of the cars going by.
With my head down deciphering life
they sound just like waves, just like waves.
Head down, deciphering life and there are no cars.

If I had a list
Of things that made me tick
Spiders get me down..
Dont even mention the clown..
An odd one, butterflies
And the sun I despise.
Memories all too painful
The bad ones, a handful..
I have many phobias,
A list too long you see?
Well to make it short,
Just name anything,

HannahRose…that got my nerves frayed..thank you
AliP…..Forks in the skull shivers…thank you
Mr A….teasing the starving with a burger cranks it…thank you
Burnt-Out Synapses..phobophobia ala carte…thank you

Good work all, wet coal dust on burnt toast.

Everyday my skin crawls since I found out what went wrong and everyday I hear my life somewhere in a song.
I missed my chance to love you when you broke my heart in two,
but then I got a second chance and suddenly I felt new.
But then we saw what happened and what 20 years can do, that we became
two people who don't know what to do. Time is strange & awful and can change us all...For good. I tried to keep on loving you the only way I could.
Since you left I feel unloved, without your sex and just wanting to be hugged.
But when we talk and I hear your thoughts , I get so tense and my skin gets clogged. With all my pains a' dancing, I need to feel that "Burn"
which just feels oh so good. When the people see it and frown upon my skin, I say..."I just can't help it, it's coming from within.
I don't want these feelings that are lodged inside my skin, they only make me want to just commit some sin!
So please I beg my heart...won't you let me just be free of this skin crawling sickness that invades itself in me.
I want to give my love again, though I'm not really sure how, if or when that day will come. I'm sure my skin will tell me...somehow, someway, someday. For now I'll just keep burning the creepy crawlies away.

My scars in hoards they itch
They loudly call to me:
'Where is that razor, eh?
Forget recovery.'

I ignore their cries,
I ignore their voice,
I ignore their shouts,
For I have a choice.

But my skin it aches,
To be hurt again,
Yet I know I shouldn't,
Self harm: life's bane.

The frustration hurts,
Devours every thought,
Cries of 'You deserve it!'
Leaving me distraught.

I attempt to reassure
Myself that it's not true,
But darkness in my mind is common,
And happiness is so few.

I hold the razor, oh so sharp,
I hold it in my hand.
It screams into my head and heart,
Pain I can't withstand.

So I give in to the itch,
Recovery down the drain,
Sigh, clean, bandage up,
And start recovery again.

I_dRatherBeMe....the absence of love is a threat from within....ooooh, thank you for your words.
AlmostDead0909...the bleeding edge of emotional technology....slicing thanks.

The Darkness that stayed


I can feel the darkness creeping up
keeping its grip tell the end
leaving me with a dreadful feeling
leaving my heart pounding in my chest
my veins pulsing in my skin
my spin shivers and shakes
with every growing moment
O my God will it ever stop
will I ever get to the light I so disparately need
am I there yet?
O my God I need some relief
I need the light so disparately
I tried so hard to reach out and touch it
but all that is there is the darkness that I despise so deeply
that I run from and try to hide from
will I ever see the light in which I was born
O my God please help me

"Does it bother you? Because it bothers me."

What makes my skin crawl?
It’s simple really…or is it?
The future,
The future and how it relates
To the present,
To the past,
How it’s forever the same
Never seeming to change
Always based on routine
Whoever you may be
You were a robot then
You are a robot now
And a robot you will be

Does that bother you?
Because it bothers me

Constantly having to please
Am I even doing this for me?
Please I just want to breathe
But stray from the path of society
And that’s a step closer to insanity
So now I have “depressive” tendencies
How do you expect me to ignore it
Whether you fail or succeed
There is always time to get married
Raise some kids and live happily
But just as school became work
Breakups are now divorce
As for the kids let’s meet up in court
Go to school, to go to work
Go to work, to pay for rent
Pay for rent, so you can survive
Survive so I can what
Isn’t just sickening

Does it bother you?
Because it bothers me

How can you all keep going?
Waking up everyday
To do the same damn thing
It makes want to die
This stupid pointless life
That we try to justify with lies
Love, Dreams, Religion and things
Well word to the wise
It will never get better
We live till we die
The future is not bright
Don’t tell me different
I know well what I am missing
Our created way of living
That will last for generations

Does it bother you?
Because it damn sure bothers me.

Now that's Spooky . . .

The bottle  
moved without me  
its top unscrewed  
and poured  

My glass  
was waiting patiently  
it knew  
I wanted more  

Cheers,  
I think.