That empty seat beside you..

Ah god you were a grouchy old bastard
opinionated know it all, every damn thing you'd mastered.
Too damn good to travel for a visit, "let 'em come to see me"
..and damned if they didn't! Until that Christmas day
when from your lips spilled venom toward another beloved
that sent all of them running away.

Never to return!

Why I cared I'll never know, to me you were just Papa Joe
Grumpy old fart with an empty old heart, no idea how to show
that you cared, you loved, you were proud of your wife, sons
and daughters.

I could see.  

As hard as you were, as much as you huffed, inside I knew you were crying.
Maybe because I was outside the castle, no love expected, never a hassle
I could offer some insight, scold you for thinking it right, show you the wrong
of your ways. Whatever it was that you heard in my saying. I'm thankful to
say you went out of your way, made amends and showed love before dying.

Fathers Day '07

When you passed all were there, surrounding you with love and such care
as you drew your last breath, I know you'd have been pissed but I leaned
down and planted a kiss on the head of my grouchy old bastard.

One more thing!

When it came time to spread out your ashes, as you'd asked it would be near
the water. All had gathered, wife, sons and daughters. one last time where you'd
lay. It was my honor to choose the place where you'd stay. I chose a place I
see almost every day.

Yes, I'm still coming to see you. R.I.P. Papa

Matthew



One year later,
I think of you
I wonder if belief
is still sad.
I wonder if the speed
was such a necessary thing.

I don’t know where you are  
my friend, but if I found
a tombstone I would be there
with Biltong,
I know flowers are dead.

I don’t know if ashes lie
if that’s what they did.
But should I find an urn
I’d pop
a drop of Jack in the jar.

Stand back to watch it dance
and sing from afar.

Rest assured I miss you mate,
more that my words could ever  
relate.


http://deepundergroundpoetry.com/images/uploads/poemimages/32662.jpg


________________________________________________________________
For Matthew Stewardson 11 December 1974 - 10 December 2010
This Piece was previously written and published on DU on the 7th November 2011

YOU

you sat next to me,
everyday at school..
im pretty sure it was all my fault,
that one unfaithful night..
the night of the full moon,
a year ago..
I still have to sit,
next to that empty seat..
the one that was yours,
the one at school..
i miss how you helped me,
the way that you gave me the answers..
now i sit here,
soaking up the regret in the air..
i know it houldve been my life,
not yours..
that person shouldve killed me,
not you..
i shouldve tried to save you..
i shouldve told your parents,
instead of trying to run from it..
i see the coyuncillor twice a week,
i relive that night all the time..
i cannot take it anymore,
as i sit next to your empty seat,
i cannot live with this regret..
so tonight im going to die..
im going to take my life..
i know i cant get yours back..
but i ant live in this world,
knowing i could have saved your life

Comfort has spilled me one last time
I felt your dust storms from
15 miles away
I have seen the light here, so dank and gray

"Take me," I said. Where did you go?
Patience cannibalizes my needs
Now i sit on this mercury cloud of false glory of any sky

and your still not here.....
the puffs blow up in my face and i realize where you have gone......


A kingdom lost
that was once born of marble
cold and stoned

rememberance

I thought of you again in slumber
Felt your presence in my chamber  
A fleeting glimpse of your placid face

      The pain of love
 
Your memory still all consuming
     Bright eyes dancing
    Your smile entrancing
 
      The pain of loss


http://costumesforthefamily.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/10/Ghost-Lady-Costume-300x300.jpg

"wait with hope"


I sat in your old room
ran my fingers along
your pillow happiness vacated
in the still oxygen

I feel your breath and
forget to breathe myself

erratic and aimless
I slump to my feet
and drag them
to your shirt draw
take out a red

the colour of loss?

I smell your old fragrance
blue heart beats faint
I blow a whisper
beyond this realm
to crease your eyes
and steal your smile

all that is left
is a clouded past
memories engulfed
in shades of misery
engraved in my soul
by the mason of mortality
is a tainted green reminder
a green to reunite

sometimes I have dreams
peculiar and irrelevant
wakened by a flash of smile

then I start to wait...

wow! thanks a lot for the trophy firedaughter. It was definitely a very pleasant surprise!
It must have been hard to choose from so many good poems. Congratulations to all