Mental State

Disease

somewhere in the most deepest ,darkest part of her  
lies loneliness. every know and then it takes over her.it screams at her and chew on her inner flesh that keeps her going,  
leveing her with a fountain of tears.  
it sends tornadoes to her stomach and thunder to her heart,  
leving her with a fountain of tears.  
but no one knows what has become of her, what demons has taken control of her....it takes over her...she hides it..holding it in so that her sin wount bring disaster to this world...  
letting her walk until she can no longer walk anymore...her soul bound to perish...leveing her nothing but a walking corps.  
her disease that could end all humanity...ending it all of sadness loneliness..and fears..  
leveing her with a fountain of tears...

"At Peace, True Peace"

Simply space we are with
minds like crystal goblets,
bodies seeking transparency
in a world of hypocrisy,
searching for simplicity
and balance, unentangled,
we grasp at nothing, and
expect so much more as
we are everything, our
true nature revealed by
the song we sing, one of
emptiness and fullness,
light and dark, a
dance without separation.
 
Balanced, we taste living in
a world unhampered by a single
thing in it.  So delicious.
 
At peace, true peace.
Harmony.
Nirvana.

I Bruise Easily




 
You wouldn't know that there are bruises
they happen so easily when I'm not looking
unseen and tender where pressure screams
deeper than skin beyond the flesh bled within
 
 
 
 
"I bruise easily"
 
 
 
 
How can you know what my body fails to show
what my eyes can carefully hide in unshed tears
a silent battle of my mind that goes on from view
secretly in a place unreachable not to me but you
 
 
 
 
 
I blindfold the outside with this shroud of my doing
master of the art that I have practised for so long
the touch that can be tender in such a painful way
I hold in my silence of what I choose to keep away
 
 
 
 
"I bruise easily"
 
 
 
 
I have this armour I like to believe a wall of steel
made up of flesh and bone with a stubborn pose
nothing or no one can penetrate as it locks me in
you know I am strong don't you? and in this I win
 
 
 
 
I must confess a little of my stupid hopelessness
there is this sensitive patch that plays hard inside
likes to twist and turn can be quite a strong burn
I bruise easily from its attack strength here I lack
 

The Brick Layer

Serial  dater
Hopeless romantic
Looking for love...

Or some may call it
Just
Plain
Desperate

Though I think
I have found it...
a name for me

Yep,

I
am
a
Brick Layer

Every rule
I have ever had

Each moral
I have sworn
I was going to keep

Have each
found a man
or
a boy I should say
that has
smooth talked
their way
in and around

And the rules
were broken
and the morals
swept aside

All in the name of love
of coarse
or was it lust

At this point
in my life
I feel pretty shitty

Lets be honest
I look back and see

Each broken heart
has added
another brick to the wall

and

I see clearly
how
and why
each part
of this wall
has been built

But

My vision
of happiness
is still there

I still see it
beyond these
saddened walls
that surround me

Though the opening
is starting to narrow


(just written today 8/10/12 Another break up, Another brick to the wall)

My palms are getting shakier.
My makeup is a disaster
I can hear the words of others
Blunder together faster

Until it all just becomes a noise.
Blending into cries.
My mother told me to get better
But they keep feeding me these lies

I am in no shape to give advice
But if I had to, I would say.
Don't think you chose to be crazy.
It just happens that way

Overflow

My
chest
aches
a little,
full
of insomnia
and half spilled
ire-

elastic
lungs
divide
themselves
tumbling

crazy

over
under
and
over again

swelling
and
fluid,
like the sea

a surging
hydrographic
soliciting to drown
a capsized
lover.

Seething murmurs
fall
crash
break
dragging
the depths

below
my stomach
behind
my colon
reaching
beyond

the
spinning
fiery
wheels

of
sacred
undertow.