An Extreme Loss

Now if only I could find the words to write a piece for this

Stages Of Grief


SHOCK AND DENIAL:

Liar! I scream out in a daze of disbelief
Too much grief  
With no relief
Steals my soul like a thief

How could you say such a lie
No time for bye
Why can't I cry
Not even a sigh

Your lies, they won't be bought
My stomach's in a knot
I feel like I've been shot
I won't accept your stupid plot

PAIN AND GUILT:

So many words, left unsaid
Spiraling around in my head
As heavy as lead
No where for them to spread

The anguish is unmanageable
My lacks unforgivable
Future not foreseeable
I'm no better than a criminal

Never will. Never again,
These words hold too much pain
My breath I cannot gain
I feel like I've been slain

ANGER AND BARGAINING:

Please come back, I'll make it right
I promise we'll never fight
I'll do whatever, I've seen the light
It's been written in black and white

How could you leave me like this
Left behind to reminisce
Wrath I feel with a hiss
Never again to feel any bliss

Don't let this be true I say with prayer
This is too much for me to bare
I scream at the sky with a glare
It's not fair, it's not fair, it's not fair

DEPRESSION, REFLECTION, LONELINESS:

You're gone for good, I feel such sorrow
Endless darkness, every tomorrow
This is too much for me to swallow
Because of this, my chest is hollow

The things we did, I miss so great
I can not stand to live this fate
It's too heavy, too much weight
Please God, please God, clean my slate

I don't know who I am without you near
The vision of my future so unclear
I needed you here to help me steer
Now we're separated, I have great fear

THE ADJUSTMENT:

Life moved on, though I begged it not
The pain a fire, still so hot
I made decisions, I gave it a shot
I spread your ashes in your favorite spot

The birds still chirp, the world will turn
The ache in me will forever burn
For you I will continue to yearn
To live again, I am trying to learn

I still forget, I try to call
There's no answer, I feel so small
I have hit the bottom, no where to fall
I sit in my grief and start to bawl

RECONSTRUCTION:

Much time has passed, I picked up the pieces
Though less than it was, the pain never ceases
The agony is there, it stays in the creases
My heart begs, but it never releases

They say that time heals all the pain
What do these liars have to gain
Don't come at me with this campaign
Please don't make me try and explain

Today I was able to go through your things
Much sadness and joy all of this brings
Old photo's of us forever stings
I am glad we could capture all of our flings

ACCEPTANCE & HOPE:

These past few days, I have found my smile
I have not done this in a while
I have come far on this long mile
From when I had feelings that were so vile

I'll be okay, I am now a believer
I'm no longer grasping that cleaver
Words of kindness, I am a receiver
With open arms, an over achiever

I learned from you, how to be strong
To stay broken, would have done you wrong
Though my grief for you is life long
I will go on to preach your wonderful song

Family...a total loss

Falling out of life
Trying to hold on
No handles are found
Slipping all of the time
Further
           and
                  Further
Into this darkened life
No helping hands for me
Leaving me to fall

Death has came for me before
The bitch let me live no DNR
live for what
To be all alone, and
feel my hell on earth?

To stay alive and feel what she wants me to feel
Her control, her lies, no effection, no loveliness
she wanted to make it hurt

Gone...
Everything taken from me
Lost everything that I have built and cared for.
Family all gone

Now I miss everything I was put through
Never able to make things right
To be forgiven for my wrongs
Never to understand why
To see them grow up
Years to build... gone in seconds

I see them from time to time
Only when I feel
I have taken lives
Now I know what it is when it's taken from me
This is my hell now
This is my death
This is my life

Why am I here?
We are made in pairs
Pairs mo longer
Who am I here for?
Repent for everything ive done wrong?
Is this the way
To write those wrongs?

I love them all.

You guys at DUP help me feel the things I can't. Reminds me the
Beauty of life and try to have some closure for the dead.
To remind me how fucked up the living can be. For I am
one of those.
Thanks to those who help me feel...
Life through your eyes and your writes

Where For Art Thou Big Bro?

I've looked up to you to be my fortress
But instead you cropped me out the family portrait
Don't you remember? We had the same mother
Why you won't accept me as your biological brother?
Abandoned, stranded, no where to turn
And what hurts me the most? You show no concern
Scorned and scarred by the afterburn
Hoping one day you'll finally learn
The meaning of family united as one
My heart is heavy because of you it weighs a ton
Sleepless nights waiting for the phone to ring
But the phone remain silent I must mean nothing
At all to you like we never shared a room
I still can remember your birthday in June
Holidays come around still no response
Sometimes I wonder did you think of me once
Of course not you can't afford to pay me any mind
I miss my big brother that I could call anytime
I need you so bad can't you see the desperation
Especially now after Mom's expiration
Between her death and your isolation
I need some conversation a little communication
Goes a long way and it makes a big difference
I want us to be closer and not long distance
Just the thought makes me feel like a weeping willow
A puddle of teardrops absorbed into my pillow
Soaking wet and drenched in night sweats
From nightmares that have been occurring so let's
Go back to normal like we were before
I don't want to be at war with you anymore
Don't treat me like a stranger please open your door
Let's talk things over and settle the score
With an intervention am I to blame?
Does my sexual orientation bring you shame?
Whatever the problem is can you please explain?
Don't leave me in the dark in the pouring rain
Why you don't love me or even bother to care?
No invite to your house like you don't want me there
For no apparent reason and it just seems unfair
And you're unaware that it's making me scared
Petrified, afraid, that I've lost you for good
I'd beg you to love me but I don't know if I should

All I ever do now is walk
it feels as if it is all I can do
Somethings missing, torn away
and that part is you

I just walk and stare mindlessly
into the darkened horizon
I just stare like a statue
without you I could never really function

My ups are downs
My sky is red
I haven't a thought
in my head

I am broken as most people can see
Your gone now, just gone
My heart went with you
as if it were drawn

An empty shattered shell
is all of me that's left
When you gone with my heart
that began my personality's death

I sit and stare
forward.
Trying to look at
nothing.

I don't want to
see
whats right in front
of me.

I don't want to see
his
limp body laying there
lifeless.

I am shaking
uncontrollably.
I have no idea what to
do.

I don't know how to help
him.
I just don't know how to save
him.

His beautiful body lies
there,
but his soul is so far
away.

My best friend.
My lover.
The keeper of my heart.
The heart of mine which is broken.
Needing a repair that isn't known.
I've lost him, I've lost myself.
I'm broken.

This was very hard to choose....

Rachel...- One More Minute...Please
CriticalMass- Joshua My Son
Paul Summerscales- Bring Her Home

*There were wonderful pieces here, so I see an honorable mention as fit*

Sumeet Panigrahi- As Easy As They Get
chezz- untitled
Kristany Danel- untitled
Paige Rider- The All-True Confessions of an Evicted Homeless Girl


Thank you, to everyone who participated.
They were all fairly good pieces, to my surprise.. not to be pessimistic.
Some of them were brilliant, to be honest.
I dont mean to be cliché, but it was actually really  hard to decide here,
so thanks once again for participating.

Oh wow, very nice...thank you!!!

WTG CriticalMass and Paul! Lots of great stuff here!