Poetry competition CLOSED 26th May 2012 4:12pm
WINNER
raorrick (Rachel O.)
raorrick (Rachel O.)
RUNNERS-UP:
diddi
and drogedarain
An Extreme Loss
Poetry Contest Description
Write about the emptiest you've ever felt. The worst, greatest loss you've ever had. Of any kind. Loss of a marriage, child, parent, job, et cetera.
I apologize if this has already been done, and if so, more power to you because you can use old and new entries. Titles are optional, free verse is fine. No collaborations, and 400 word limit... One week, enjoy. Or don't.
a s e a s y t h e y g e t
Undecided
as always we
decide-change-go out
Hypnotized
I get dragged
inside a maze by
her-out of pure habit
Two legged ants crawl
all around-sitting
over syrup-crumbs-
mayonnaise-tissue
I find us a place
a small cubicle with
small chairs-tiny cups
and spoons-of grade A platic
ketchup-soya-paprika-salt-whatnot
I get up-stand
in the line-try to
look busy-waiting for
my turn-get bored afterwards
lose my train of thoughtlessness
look back to find her face-half hidden
by the square head of a stranger moving
animatedly-in a peculiar way which leaves
me disoriented enough to not fight fidgeting
I wait for her eyes to see mine-just once
for they have said that it's all in the
eyes but not this time-damn theory
they never seem to apply to you
I stop my muttering as the
waiting line appears to
start to get ahead
f i n a l l y
I grab my order
and carefully walk
all the way back which
seems quite challenging
The stranger does not even
move and she does not notice
or even bat an eyelid-they go
on nodding-smiling-soft words
flowing like young skiers in Aspen
and it goes on on on and on on on on
I pull the chair closer
muster all my possible
resistance to not do
my own brand of
dubious armchair
psychoanalysis-
putting my best
efforts-barely
successful
I slide deep into silence
finally after sometime
this man stares at me-
sniggers and gets up
smelling of cologne
and sex and whatnot
He quietly exits
the small bubble
I had created
painstakingly
with a void
shaped like
h i m
I finish my sandwich-
grilled-cold-chewy
as Kenny G teases
softly in the
uniform drone
absent-minded
she slurps her
iced tea
and
finally
looks at me
'It was nothing-I don't
know him really-so let's go'
So I do-we do-we just let go
Undecided
as always we
decide-change-go out
Hypnotized
I get dragged
inside a maze by
her-out of pure habit
Two legged ants crawl
all around-sitting
over syrup-crumbs-
mayonnaise-tissue
I find us a place
a small cubicle with
small chairs-tiny cups
and spoons-of grade A platic
ketchup-soya-paprika-salt-whatnot
I get up-stand
in the line-try to
look busy-waiting for
my turn-get bored afterwards
lose my train of thoughtlessness
look back to find her face-half hidden
by the square head of a stranger moving
animatedly-in a peculiar way which leaves
me disoriented enough to not fight fidgeting
I wait for her eyes to see mine-just once
for they have said that it's all in the
eyes but not this time-damn theory
they never seem to apply to you
I stop my muttering as the
waiting line appears to
start to get ahead
f i n a l l y
I grab my order
and carefully walk
all the way back which
seems quite challenging
The stranger does not even
move and she does not notice
or even bat an eyelid-they go
on nodding-smiling-soft words
flowing like young skiers in Aspen
and it goes on on on and on on on on
I pull the chair closer
muster all my possible
resistance to not do
my own brand of
dubious armchair
psychoanalysis-
putting my best
efforts-barely
successful
I slide deep into silence
finally after sometime
this man stares at me-
sniggers and gets up
smelling of cologne
and sex and whatnot
He quietly exits
the small bubble
I had created
painstakingly
with a void
shaped like
h i m
I finish my sandwich-
grilled-cold-chewy
as Kenny G teases
softly in the
uniform drone
absent-minded
she slurps her
iced tea
and
finally
looks at me
'It was nothing-I don't
know him really-so let's go'
So I do-we do-we just let go
s t o c k h o l m s y n d r o m e
I am at my usual place-the second last barstool
with the regular drink-Vodka martini-my third
I have snorted thrice already because of which
everything looks like a Robert Richardson frame
the music having been left to a prolonged scratch
or may be it's a Nurse With Wound record
I look all around-looking at nothing in particular-
in a rather listless way like music videos-
warm colours-with blurred faces swimming
the background-in shallow field of depth
with one face standing out-the anti-hero
probably on anti-depressants-face blank
eyes lost around the camera-may be
I am the hero of the hour-the hero
with a thousand faces-masks-sans
a cape-a moral compass-integrity
or any of those medieval hogwash
High on coke-with a giant hard-on
poking-probing-pulsating neath
the two-ply Egyptian linen briefs
I am here tonight for my overkill
my tour de force-my conquest-
another night to boast of-another
scalp-medal-number-figure-fuck
probably there won't be any
exchange of names or any
kind of pleasantries
w h a t s o e v e r
not that it's needed
when the only exchange
happening would be fluids
semen-sweat-blood-saliva-tears-faeces
may be and if things go awry-then some
coke-some cash-or may be a few bruises
Usually the beating seldom happens
mostly when they want to have
a role playing session afterwards
I enjoy calling them by peculiar names
as they grunt-puckered-squirming-burning
hair pulled back-eyes streaming-lips swollen-glorious
until I blast inside-feeling the slippery walls
closing in-patting-squeezing-sapping
my rabid egohead in tiny vibrations
That usually is the cue for death of the role
and my shrink has told me that
it is a moment of closure for them-
victims of forces of nature-the kind
that is within us-them-everyone
Often I hear sobs from the washroom
as I lie spent-smoking pot-staring into
the-little-child-and-the-moth-eaten-moon-with-the-stars
painted in radiant aqua on the roof
as asked by the shrink
to trigger my days of innocence
and induce closure-perhaps
It is beautiful alright-
the roof-impressionistic-pacific-whatever
but I have not found the meaning
of this godawful word closure yet
after weeks or may be months
of searching-checking-going thru
every-fucking-French-thesaurus-I-could-find-buy-borrow-have
So here I am tonight looking for someone-a repressed victim
who could possibly sob as I fuck her and thank me later on
the catch being her prowess in ligustics for obvious reasons
along with of course a great rump-bump-hump-jump
no questions-whatsoever about priorities-never
How It Was and Is
Customized Choppers were his thing
He built and created his art would sing
Skulls and snakes would cover his tank
Vibrant and beautiful never left blank
On two wheels he rode into the day
Never saw him again his life snatched away
My Brother Eddy eighteen when he died
Stationary when he was thrown from his ride
Forks snapped free he was launched through the air
Under the bus that was passing there
Young as I was fourteen I recall
I just ran away far from it all
-------------------------------------
Two years slipped by
Then I met a guy
My very first Love
With no push and shove
He treated me right
He made my life bright
Twelve months together
Then in the bad weather
The car went off track
No bringing him back
With his Coffin everyday
Don't take him away
I kissed him goodbye
Started to cry
The flames licked and stole
My bleeding soul
I crumpled and bent
Off the rails I went
Wreckless and throwing
The pain that was flowing
My life carried on
Each day made me strong
Harder I became
Through each tragic maim
Life is the bitch
That I like to itch
A one finger wave
It will never make me cave
Keep bringing it on
Until I am gone............
Customized Choppers were his thing
He built and created his art would sing
Skulls and snakes would cover his tank
Vibrant and beautiful never left blank
On two wheels he rode into the day
Never saw him again his life snatched away
My Brother Eddy eighteen when he died
Stationary when he was thrown from his ride
Forks snapped free he was launched through the air
Under the bus that was passing there
Young as I was fourteen I recall
I just ran away far from it all
-------------------------------------
Two years slipped by
Then I met a guy
My very first Love
With no push and shove
He treated me right
He made my life bright
Twelve months together
Then in the bad weather
The car went off track
No bringing him back
With his Coffin everyday
Don't take him away
I kissed him goodbye
Started to cry
The flames licked and stole
My bleeding soul
I crumpled and bent
Off the rails I went
Wreckless and throwing
The pain that was flowing
My life carried on
Each day made me strong
Harder I became
Through each tragic maim
Life is the bitch
That I like to itch
A one finger wave
It will never make me cave
Keep bringing it on
Until I am gone............
I heard your first cry
Giving tiny lungs their first try
In my arms your puny body feather lite
as I recover from the birth rite
My title was the first word u spoke
I caught u when your first step failed
I made u laugh before u knew of a joke
I dried your tears when your heart broke
I was your goddess and you were my universe
My blessing turned curse
Your death killed in reverse
I saw my own spirit disperse
Why God!why is that smile stilled?
I an automaton saw the hole filled
I heard nor hymn or condolence
Deaf and dumb by your absence
My universe lost in space
My sanity fled without a trace
This world is an empty place
Too much for me to face
Oh dear God with all your grace
Why didn't u take me in his place!!
I should have been there
I should have been there..
To surpress her fall
I shouldn't have let her
Hit that wall
She should've known better though!
Drugs were no good!
She knew all of this..
She just misunderstood
She knew the blade was for cutting
And knew that pot gave you a high
Whe I left her there,
She looked more than fine
But I guess I shouldn't
Have walked away..
I wouldn't be sitting here
As they put her in her grave
My mom, I should have helped..
I am her daughter! I shouldn't give up!
But I walked away that night..
And let depression fill her cup..
I should have been there..
To surpress her fall
I shouldn't have let her
Hit that wall
She should've known better though!
Drugs were no good!
She knew all of this..
She just misunderstood
She knew the blade was for cutting
And knew that pot gave you a high
Whe I left her there,
She looked more than fine
But I guess I shouldn't
Have walked away..
I wouldn't be sitting here
As they put her in her grave
My mom, I should have helped..
I am her daughter! I shouldn't give up!
But I walked away that night..
And let depression fill her cup..
The husband she didn't know
She crinkled up the paper
And threw it in the floor..
She had her heart ripped out..
A love story no more..
One she had wished to complete..
One left unfufilled..
A wife whom loved her husband..
This..It really kills..
He left her for the whore..
Or maybe it was just greed..
It doesn't matter which..
It was clear she didn't provide his needs..
She worked her ass off..
Every hour of the day..
Cleaning house and cooking..
And he had nothing to say..
He came in suggesting..
They move on..
"You know as well as me,
This wouldn't last long."
She carved his name into a bullet
So that the world would know..
The last thing that went through her mind..
Was the husband she didn't know
She crinkled up the paper
And threw it in the floor..
She had her heart ripped out..
A love story no more..
One she had wished to complete..
One left unfufilled..
A wife whom loved her husband..
This..It really kills..
He left her for the whore..
Or maybe it was just greed..
It doesn't matter which..
It was clear she didn't provide his needs..
She worked her ass off..
Every hour of the day..
Cleaning house and cooking..
And he had nothing to say..
He came in suggesting..
They move on..
"You know as well as me,
This wouldn't last long."
She carved his name into a bullet
So that the world would know..
The last thing that went through her mind..
Was the husband she didn't know
Sorry
Empty spaces
Between my fingers..
The taste of his lips..
Saddenly lingers..
Two crushing words
And he's gone..
I failed him..
Where did I go wrong?!
He didn't hug me..
Not even a goodye..
Gone with the heart
He stole with his lies..
Man I miss him..
Why does it hurt?
Why is there blood
Pouring from my shirt?
Was it because he left?
Perhaps because I worry..
I hate those two words..
You'll never be 'sorry'..
Empty spaces
Between my fingers..
The taste of his lips..
Saddenly lingers..
Two crushing words
And he's gone..
I failed him..
Where did I go wrong?!
He didn't hug me..
Not even a goodye..
Gone with the heart
He stole with his lies..
Man I miss him..
Why does it hurt?
Why is there blood
Pouring from my shirt?
Was it because he left?
Perhaps because I worry..
I hate those two words..
You'll never be 'sorry'..
My grandpa he left..
Gone with the wind..
He was incredible..
Regardless, he sinned..
I never felt so empty
Never so un-whole..
Because I know where he went
And where he drug away his soul
Down in the depths,
With demons he plays
And burning in hell
Is where he'll remain
But he knows that I love him,
Or at least, I hope..
Becuase I keep this locket with me,
Just to help me cope
Gone with the wind..
He was incredible..
Regardless, he sinned..
I never felt so empty
Never so un-whole..
Because I know where he went
And where he drug away his soul
Down in the depths,
With demons he plays
And burning in hell
Is where he'll remain
But he knows that I love him,
Or at least, I hope..
Becuase I keep this locket with me,
Just to help me cope
carried you
from life's beginning
to deaths end
His purpose
hurt-betrayal
a lesson?
teasing me
a broken
promise; lies
empty
unfilled arms
needing
to hold you near
craving
your existence
dying to live again
your grave
is my
broken heart
there is where
I again
carry you
from your life's beginning
to my deaths end
Bring Her Home (SP Summerscales)
Bring her home
please
she's my baby girl
I plead
she belongs with me
this is wrong
don't you see .
Her bike lies outside
my pain it hikes
to an all time high ,
I see her pink hair brush
low can't sink , as it's way to much
bring her home please
my worlds on hold
in the cold , of freeze .
The days , the nights
I strain my pain for life ,
memories swirl
my mind , my baby girl ,
shadows of her face
I try so hard to trace ,
devastation seems
to me , to be so lame ,
I try to call her
I'm ignored
I go insane
I'm her mother , her father
in her life of everyday ,
if this goes much further
I'll die now anyday ,
does this mean nothing to you
as you , do turn away .
Stab me to death
and tear my soul apart
crush my chest
run me over in your car ,
for that is best
than this hole
right through my heart ,
I'm the walking dead
in this land of oh so far .
My energy drains away ,
like a ghost in long gone days
my eyes are now in flames
her voice , my mind does play ,
I stare at all her games
they glare like razor blades
bring my J.J home
to god I do so pray ,
Her brothers and I
are so now zombified ,
we cuddle and cry
and they , just don't know why .
For christs sake
oh why , is it I you hate
for she's only nine
it's not her choice to make .
Bring her home
please
she's my baby girl
I plead
she belongs with me
this is wrong
don't you see .
Her bike lies outside
my pain it hikes
to an all time high ,
I see her pink hair brush
low can't sink , as it's way to much
bring her home please
my worlds on hold
in the cold , of freeze .
The days , the nights
I strain my pain for life ,
memories swirl
my mind , my baby girl ,
shadows of her face
I try so hard to trace ,
devastation seems
to me , to be so lame ,
I try to call her
I'm ignored
I go insane
I'm her mother , her father
in her life of everyday ,
if this goes much further
I'll die now anyday ,
does this mean nothing to you
as you , do turn away .
Stab me to death
and tear my soul apart
crush my chest
run me over in your car ,
for that is best
than this hole
right through my heart ,
I'm the walking dead
in this land of oh so far .
My energy drains away ,
like a ghost in long gone days
my eyes are now in flames
her voice , my mind does play ,
I stare at all her games
they glare like razor blades
bring my J.J home
to god I do so pray ,
Her brothers and I
are so now zombified ,
we cuddle and cry
and they , just don't know why .
For christs sake
oh why , is it I you hate
for she's only nine
it's not her choice to make .
